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baruah

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  1. Hi, I am just after some support. I will try to make it as short as possible. June 2019, my only daughter, her husband and my only granddaughter (aged 9) made the decision to migrate back to Australia from Sweden. An agreement was made to live with my husband and I for 3 months which turned into 7 months. My daughter, a primary school teacher keenly looked for work but could only obtain casual days here and there. Her husband a computer repairman applied for 3 jobs online and because he didn't hear back from them, refused to apply for any more so he started up a computer repair business just in our rather small little seaside town. He obtained some work but charged a very low price for his services. He would not listen to reason about increasing his prices or even extending further afield. My granddaughter attended the local school and absolutely loved the Australian way of life, she thrived in the sunshine as opposed to the cold conditions in Sweden. During the 7 months, I gave my daughter and her husband the sum of $10,000 to buy items for their new home when they purchased it. This turned out to be the biggest mistake I made and I have beaten myself up over and over and over again and regret it every day. But that is not what this about, I know I can't get the money back, so that is that. As the months rolled on, SIL still refused to look for more permanent work and just literally sat on my lounge and played on his computer until such time as he got the occasional job in our community to service someone's computer or had to collect my daughter from whichever school she was teaching at that day. Christmas came and went and nothing much changed except to say that it was now 7 months living with us and husband and I had had enough. The daughter and her family decided to move further down towards Sydney and try for work there, well that lasted 5 weeks but in that time, they had a great time on the money that I had foolishly given them. Neither of them had a job, admittedly it is very competitive for teaching jobs in that locality, but they both refused to look outside the box . After 5 weeks, I was told that they had decided to go back to Sweden, I tried to talk them out of it, reminding them of how much it had cost them to come out here and now to turn around after only 8 months seemed so ridiculous. So they went back home 4 days after they told us what they were doing. We didn't go to the airport as it is a 5 hour drive and my health restricts my travel. Siince that date, we have not heard one word from them, they have cut off all communication, blocked us on all social media and by phone. I am so depressed over it, I have spoken to a psychologist but he couldn't help me. My granddaughter is very close to me, almost my shadow and we had such good times together. Now I fear I won't see her ever again. I don't care about her parents, they are adults and can look after themselves, but my little one is only 9 years old. Does anyone have any advice for me please?
  2. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  3. Welcome To DF baruah

    Please Feel Free To Browse Around & Post On The Forums! There is a lot of information here for you to glean from and much support is given.

    You're not alone.

    Girly :)

  4. Hi I am new to this form and I am looking for some advice. My only daughter lives on the other side of the world, she is married, no children and is 32 years of age. She has lived in that country for 10 years. I have suffered depression since she left but have been on a real downhill slide for the last 12 months or so. She has made many visits home in that time but in 2008 she "tippy toed" around the subject of her father and I giving her the money for a deposit on a house in our country. To cut a long story short, I anticipated what she was going to ask and I told her we wouldn't be able to help her and not her brother as well, and as we couldn't afford to help both we wouldn't be able to help either. I might add, that I was both annoyed and surprised by this as since being in the other country she had not worked but had continued her university studies. Since that day things have gradually declined between her and I, to the point now of where she is accusing me of mistreating her when she was a child. I was the mother who worked hard, travelled a long distance two and from work, kept a clean house, food on the table and in the cupboards, you could say I loved and lived my whole life for my husband and my two children. I don't drink, I don't smoke, in fact you could say I have very little or no vices. My daughter has now cut off all communication to her father and I. This has been since Christmas last year. I have written her an email telling her how much I love her and how we should forget our differences and let it be water under the bridge, to which she sent back a really angry email telling me she was sick of this approach. I then wrote her a very long and detailed email putting forward all the reasons I could think of, of how I had been a great mother to her and her brother. She ignored this email, and she ignored Mother's Day, which absolutely gutted me. Now I am at a brick wall, I don't know what to do. We have tried to ring her but she refused to answer the phone (she has caller ID). I am resuming counselling this week and I have been on antidepressants for 12 months. She has no interest in us at all, in our health or our lives. What would you do if you were me?
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