spouse1

Hi, Thank you all for your replies, yes I am in knots, I understand now that he is not a transexual but this is a fetish. I finally sat him down today after yet another "yelling session" and asked him what he wanted. Did he want to live his life according to his sexual fetish or did he want to be part of our family. I told him that I could no longer take his abuse, I spelled out what it was doing to me and that I had to now put myself and the kids first. He said that he wants to be part of the family that he loves us and this is where he wants to be but that his fetish is a "stress relief". I told him that I thought this was a cop out...was this the excuse Tiger Woods used for all his infidelities? I've given him one more chance, he has to make the effort to take control of his life and his emotions and his depression and stop using his sexual fetish as an excuse and a prop. His fetish (in my mind) is no different to a person's preference to men or women, it is just a preference, it is only such a small part of your life that it should not control who you are or how you act. Part II of this saga is that his first wife has now told his 18 year old daughter of his fetish and as a result we have not seen her for a few months. I understand that she needs time to adjust and accept what she has been told, but I don't understand why his first wife chose to tell her something so personal that really should have been his place to tell. His daughter does not know that I know she has been told. Do I ring her and offer to talk to her? Do I make contact with her to see if she needs to talk or do I just let her cope with this on her own? I appreciate all the help and support on this forum, it is so much better to know that there is actually somebody out there that I can talk to about all of this. Thank you from the bottom of my currently very stressed heart!

I met my husband nearly 16 years ago. I had just split from my hubby (sort of) and he had split from his wife. Over the next 5 years we became an ""item" and quite by accident I found out about his cross-dressing fetish. I didn't run, I didn't yell, I didn't abuse him.....I took time to understand the world of cross-dressing and then told him I know.much about it.....it turns out part of the break down of his first marriage (as far as I know) is due to her finding out about his cross-dressing. I am a liberal woman, we discussed his fetish, he told me it was a fetish, we had a very active sex life that icorporated a lot of things, but cross-dressing was not one of them. I had no problem with talking and encouraging him when we had sex, but after we tried the role play situation with him dressed that was all I could handle. My hubby has been diagnosed with severe depression (4months ago), stress and anxiety through work, I beleive that it is through his sexual confusion. His psychologist has apparently been focussing on his sexual orientation as part of his treatment. Since his last appointment (3 weeks ago) he has been very "low" and irritable. He is also, in my opinion, an alcoholic in the making. I need help. Our sex life has been far from normal for the past 3 years. I don't know if our relationship will survive, but I can't leave him while he is so low. He keeps berating me, belittling me, telling me I'm a Biotch,