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Everything posted by Doommantia

  1. Just a quick vent as I feel I have no one else to turn to. Im just feeling really alone as of late, my friends always seem to do things and never invite me (or forget to) and when they do I just feel like Im always the last one. At weekend it was a friends stag do (bachelors party) and he did mention it a few months back and asked me if I wanted to come and I told him to remind me nearer the time, he didnt. My other friends, close friends I thought, were invited and they went but not one of them asked me if I was going. This really hurt, and Im still very upset about it. No one ever calls me or texts me, not a Facebook message or an email nothing. Its like no one is bothered about my existence. I thought life was getting better, I somehow found a full time job and ive been enjoying that and its good to have money but I have nobody to do anything with. Everyone is too busy or just isnt bothered about me.
  2. Sorry for how youre feeling, Im in the same boat. Ive been unemployed for over a year now and theres no signs of me getting one any time soon either, im beginning to lose hope. I cant even leave my house now.
  3. So sorry youre feeling this way. I can relate a lot when it comes to feeling incompetent and disappointed, I also have an avoidant personality. I guess all I can say is youre not alone in how you feel. I have no advice really Im afraid. Is there no one at your work you could ask about medical? Im in the UK so its all very different here, no idea how it is in other countries when it comes to that.
  4. Dont apologize, this forum is here for us to vent on and get advice etc. Im sorry you are going through this, you are not alone. Best wishes.
  5. Thanks to all for the replies. I havent felt this low in a long time and I think I might have to try seeking help again, I tried in the past and it didnt work out. Not necessarily, besides theres a high chance that I cant have children anyway. But I do wish to find love and maybe get married in the future.
  6. I know many of us feel this way, and I know I have friends that care and I know Im very lucky in that regard. I dont take my friends for granted. However they all have close families and relationships, I see them post on Facebook all the photos of their family gatherings and events and I just feel... extremely jealous. Im happy for them dont get my wrong but as my family is non existent in a sense and very dysfunctional I have nobody but my friends. I sit at home on my own all day long most days, im unemployed and have no money, I actually have to save up to see my friends and they tell me they are very worried about me, as I spend so much time alone. Thats how bad it is, people can actually see how alone I am. So its not just a feeling, I am actually alone 90% of the time. My family dont care about my issues, I cant turn to them for help or support and I resent them for it. I dont like being around them even. All I want is a family. I cant date in the state that I am in, both emotionally and financially, so I cant have a relationship. I struggle talking to "new" people unless Im drunk anyway, I have no chance of meeting anybody. I dont see the point anymore. I cant find a job, and even if I got one it would be dead end. I feel like I have no future now, ive ruined everything. 28 years old, almost 29 and Ive achieved absolutely nothing in life, only lost everything. Its one big joke on me.
  7. I listen to music or play games, these seem to the only ways I can "escape" without getting drunk.
  8. Sorry to hear about what youve been through, nobody deserves that. At 15 you seem very intelligent. You arent worthless one bit. I wish you all the best and welcome to the forums, please know you are not alone.
  9. Really sorry to hear youve not been well, that sounds like an awful experience. I can relate to feeling like your own enemy, I put things off so much and leave things until last minute and often times its too late. I hope your employer is understanding and the worst thing they do is give you a warning of some kind. Im sorry you have to go through this, Ive been there myself and its a sucky situation. All the best and I hope you feel better.
  10. Yeah it annoys me too, though I dont think they do it on purpose most of the time. Some people are just busy and often put off texting someone back and then forget, I do this all the time.
  11. Yes I would have told her my feelings if I felt how you do. Thats whats shes there for afterall, maybe bring it up in your next session. Its pretty unprofessional in my opinion though I doubt she meant to offend you, least I hope not.
  12. I had a walk into town, first time ive been out in 2 weeks. I picked up a game and walked back through the park since its a nice day.
  13. Welcome. I can totally relate to how you feel, I have had panic attacks in the past when Im overcome with fear of dying. I have no advice really, I guess try and take each day as it comes and dont dwell too much but its easier said than done.
  14. I dont go out, other than to sometimes do some shopping or go out with friends very very rarely. 90% of the time I spend it inside,ive done ever since losing my job last year though when I did have a job and I worked I spend most of my free time indoors too. I know how you feel.
  15. Sorry for what youre going through. Im sure your boyfriend wont love you any less if you told him, 6 months isnt that long of a time though so I dont know. I would tell my loved ones if I had been hospitalized but thats just me personally and I dont have time for people who dont wish to even try and understand. I hope you manage to work all this out and im glad youre out of that hospital, it sounded horrendous.
  16. Sorry youve been feeling ignored, it really isnt nice when you need to talk to somebody. Im sure it wasnt intentional though. Sorry for what youve been going through, if you ever need to talk you can send ne a PM although I dont think I can be much help. I wish you all the best, and hope you manage to sort out that nerve problem it sounds horrible.
  17. Yeah its really hard somedays to realise that it isnt our fault, its the disease but I can totally relate to your feelings. Its made harder by having parents who arent too understanding, I trust yours are? Sorry that your career is over, but maybe you could pick it back up down the line?
  18. Sorry you are going through this, your dad clearly doesnt understand and is rather ignorant. That is an awful thing to say to anyone let alone your own child.
  19. I cant offer any opinions though I can say without a shadow of a doubt you arent alone. I feel the same exact way, I have absolutely zero self worth or esteem. Its causing major problems for me in my adult life. I have a few friends but I cant really socialise unless Im drinking, I have never seen my friends without alcohol being involved. Im unemployed, and Im terrified of interviews and dont try to find a job as much as I could be doing because of this which in turn is causing a lot of problems for me; financial and because I still live with my mother its straining my relationship with her. I feel really worthless.
  20. Idont think you should in the interview no. I think if they offered you a job and somewhere down the line you feel that the employer would be understanding and you feel comfortable in telling them, then yes. Its good to try and disclose this information to employers in my opinion, however theres still a lot of stigma surrounding depression in the workplace unfortunately.
  21. Seeing friends, good music, dark comedy, animals (especially cats!), good video games and good movies.
  22. Yes its that comfort pets can bring that makes them special, they dont judge and love you no matter what. They are great to have around.
  23. We lost our 18 year old kitty in June and I cant stop thinking about him, I miss him terribly. He was such a loving and loyal companion. People say cats are selfish animals and I used to think this way before we got one, and I can say that its simply not true. We didnt have him that long, 6 or 7 years, my aunt gave him to us as she couldnt take her cats with her when she moved to Australia (her other cats went to other relatives), but we grew quite a bond in that time so much so he was with me most of the time, following me around and sleeping on my lap. It sounds silly but his loss was like losing a family member or friend. I needed to vent this somewhere without being told to "get over it its just a cat get another".
  24. I wouldnt. Id ignore them or laugh then walk away or leave the online chat. I dont have the time or tolerance to educate ignorant people.
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