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Bikerboy

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About Bikerboy

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    Member

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Michigan
  • Interests
    Sports, technology, phones, computers, video games. Mental health.

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499 profile views
  1. No I'm in Michigan. I'm not sure why she had to lie about it to me. Said it was a different class drug now and she COULDN'T prescribe it.
  2. Well she must've lied to me then. I might need a different doctor. It's bull that she wouldn't give me any Xanax as I've proved I'm not abusing it. Used 1.5 pills a week on average for 11 months. Buspar made me very dizzy and nauseous, and seemed to do nothing.
  3. I finally needed a refill for my Xanax .25 that I had one refill on the original script so 60 or 90 tablets (can't remember) total used up over 11 months. usually to calm me down at night if I was stressed about working an early shift. I would cut the pills in half because too much or if I took it too many days in a row would give me horrible eye pain migraines. Well yeah so went to the doctor today to get a refill for Zoloft and the same dosage of Xanax and she said she couldn't prescribe me the Xanax and that I'd need a psychiatrist to get them because they're a higher class drug now? Is this true? I've been searching the internet and haven't read that a doctor can't prescribe them. She's a real MD too.
  4. Thanks for the reply. I need to do a lot of thinking. HTC Desire 601 (Zara_CL)
  5. I've been dating this great girl for over a year now. She's pretty great. She talks to me everyday. We see each other everyday we can. She does work 3 or 4 day stretches away from home that make it hard to see her those days. She's in the medical field and makes a good living (about 6 months in this job now). We're both in our 20's. She did everything right as far as college and getting a good job goes. I have not done anything right. I work at a drug store. I make 8 measly dollars an hour. I get around 20 hours a week and I hate every minute of the job. Plus it's second shift which I HATE with a passion. Well at first I didn't let this come up. But I hate this job so much and I'm so poor that it's affecting my happiness even when I'm with her sometimes. Not all the time. I am starting to feel pretty worthless though that she makes about 4 times what I do. I'm starting to think this could be a problem. My position in life is just so below everything it needs to be. The thought of taking this relationship to the next level maybe marriage is just so far in the distance that I'm thinking it might not even ever happen. I am dirt poor. I have no money pretty much all the time. I live with my parents still, if I didn't I'd be homeless with this current job. My parents always try to tell me to find a better job, but that's where my ugly anxiety comes back. I have a really rough time searching I just think so little of myself at the moment that I can't imagine a "better" job hiring me. I have all this cashiering experience though, should be good for something I'd think. But this isn't the only problem. My parents are extremely religious. I am not, I don't show it though. I basically follow along with their religion in order to keep piece and not get kicked out of the house. My girlfirend isn't very religious either. We've done "things" that my parents wouldn't be proud of. I feel guilty sometimes and it really confuses her. But then at the same time I do it and want to do it, but then I am not so sure that I should be doing it in my position. Like if there was ever a surprise pregnancy or something, I would be just scared to death. I feel like I'm in no financial position really to be having sex maybe that's it and the stress from the guilt of my family. They believe you need to be married before sex. I actually kind of agree with them to a point but I guess I don't enough to not give in and do it. What should I do? I'm thinking I need to just sit down and think of what I really believe. All this just is weighing me down more today than usual. I had to take a whole Ativan pill because I was doing really bad and anxious. Plus I have a surprise 8am morning shift that I'm supposed to work tomorrow. I don't know how that'll work as I usually go to bed around 3 or 4 am.
  6. I've been dating this great girl for over a year now. She's pretty great. She talks to me everyday. We see each other everyday we can. She does work 3 or 4 day stretches away from home that make it hard to see her those days. She's in the medical field and makes a good living (about 6 months in this job now). We're both in our 20's. She did everything right as far as college and getting a good job goes. I have not done anything right. I work at a drug store. I make 8 measly dollars an hour. I get around 20 hours a week and I hate every minute of the job. Plus it's second shift which I HATE with a passion. Well at first I didn't let this come up. But I hate this job so much and I'm so poor that it's affecting my happiness even when I'm with her sometimes. Not all the time. I am starting to feel pretty worthless though that she makes about 4 times what I do. I'm starting to think this could be a problem. My position in life is just so below everything it needs to be. The thought of taking this relationship to the next level maybe marriage is just so far in the distance that I'm thinking it might not even ever happen. I am dirt poor. I have no money pretty much all the time. I live with my parents still, if I didn't I'd be homeless with this current job. My parents always try to tell me to find a better job, but that's where my ugly anxiety comes back. I have a really rough time searching I just think so little of myself at the moment that I can't imagine a "better" job hiring me. I have all this cashiering experience though, should be good for something I'd think. But this isn't the only problem. My parents are extremely religious. I am not, I don't show it though. I basically follow along with their religion in order to keep piece and not get kicked out of the house. My girlfirend isn't very religious either. We've done "things" that my parents wouldn't be proud of. I feel guilty sometimes and it really confuses her. But then at the same time I do it and want to do it, but then I am not so sure that I should be doing it in my position. Like if there was ever a surprise pregnancy or something, I would be just scared to death. I feel like I'm in no financial position really to be having sex maybe that's it and the stress from the guilt of my family. They believe you need to be married before sex. I actually kind of agree with them to a point but I guess I don't enough to not give in and do it. What should I do? I'm thinking I need to just sit down and think of what I really believe. All this just is weighing me down more today than usual. I had to take a whole Ativan pill because I was doing really bad and anxious. Plus I have a surprise 8am morning shift that I'm supposed to work tomorrow. I don't know how that'll work as I usually go to bed around 3 or 4 am.
  7. Well I'm at 68 hours. I have felt a bit down today and I have an upset stomach. My willpower to quit this time is very strong though so I'm gonna stick it out VM HTC Desire 601
  8. Thanks. I think getting home and relaxing soon will help. It's just hard that I had to work the night I start feeling it. On the positive side I haven't gotten the horrible headache that usually accompanies trying to get off this. That's usually the thing that prevents me from stopping VM HTC Desire 601
  9. Sorry if I posted this in the wrong section but I do need some help I feel like crap tonight VM HTC Desire 601
  10. Hello. On the worse of days I take as much as .5mg a whole pill) But I've been on .25 most of the last 6 months. I've been trying to get off entirely and now it's been 45 hours now since my last half a pill. I'm feeling a little high strung I'm at work and I'm just moving extra fast. It's not horrible but when can I expect the worst withdrawals? I've gained nearly 20lbs in the past year and I'm convinced it's from the Ativan because it makes me lazy and I started around a year ago with up to two pills a day.
  11. Hello. So I have a history of anxiety and stuff. I've Been dating this girl for 6 months. It's absolutely wonderful with her. We're both 24. So totally out of character for us we ended up having sex 4 days ago. I used a condom and everything and I actually never reached orgasm because we were basically testing the waters.. I was very gentle too As it was our first time. So my family would look down on this tremendously as they believe sex is only allowed in marriage. And I'm in no position mentally or financially to have a child... So now my anxiety is taking over and telling me.."she's pregnant and they're all gonna find out" she told me she was really tired today because we had a long day out all day yesterday. The first thing that comes to my mind is "fatigued because she's pregnant." She keeps telling me to calm down her period is in a week tops and we'll know then. But why am I acting like this? The condom didn't break or anything like that and I didn't even ejaculate. I'm paranoid and I'm basically thinking I'll never want to have sex with her again if this happens to me every time. What do you think I should do? I have Ativan but I'm finally weened down to .25mg per day so taking extra is a horrible idea at this point.
  12. Its absolutely crazy. I recently had to quit my job because they weren't giving me any hours..so I thought it'd be good to quit and devote all my time to finding a better, more rewarding job. Well its been over a week and rather than feeling good about myself and eager to get a new job..I'm depressed and anxious about the whole thing. I haven't even looked for a job, my desire and motivation is gone. Another day is about to go by and I'm freaking out right now. Its all hitting me now, and at evening and night is when I get the worst depression. The job I quit was totally horrible, I had to literally stand there for hours with an occasional customer..and I don't regret quitting. But now I'm in a different sort of place in my head. I'm worried that I'm 24 and I have nothing going for me as far as a career. I know it takes years to be with a company to get decent pay. I'm still at the bottom. Help! What can I do to shut this off in my head I'm nearly panicked.
  13. We're in a relationship. Not just dating. I'm 24 she's 23. But we don't live together. We hangout for hours at a time though and I finally feel happy when I'm with her. But today the weather was gross and I started missing her and feeling sad like irrationally sad that I was away from her.. Is this normal and what can I do to help this? I want to be able to be happy and jsut think positive when I'm away from her.. Sent from my C5155 using Tapatalk 2
  14. thanks for all the input. I felt somewhat better when I woke up. Although very lethargic from the Xanax and still a little worried about how horrible I had felt last night. I took two Xanax last night and it did help me stop crying and then I was able to just sleep. I hate being this reliant on medications though. Anyway, this exact thing has happened 3 or 4 times before. I get more anxious and feel I need more Zoloft, I increase it to 100mg, then I feel great at first. But once I'm on it for about a week, I get this night time sadness. The only way I can describe how I felt last night was like life wasn't worth living, because the negative thoughts overwhelm my mind and making me feel nearly insane. It was BAD. I typically can control my mind enough to snap myself out of that low of thinking, but there was a serious chemical thing wrong with my head last night. I'm worried about tonight actually, but I only took 50mg of zoloft today. I will NEVER take 100mg again. I also think my recently started relationship with this girl I've liked for 2 years really intensifies these nighttime blues, and my anxiety levels.. I was thinking so irrational last night, like "she must hate me because she said this" or "she looked at me this way when I said that"...just stupid things that now, thinking back on today, were nothing. We hung out in the park yesterday for 4 hours. We had a lot of conversation, I held her had, had my arm around her shoulder several times, she smiled a LOT, I smiled a lot. I just have so much doubt in myself sometimes, when I'm alone, my mind will play silly games with my feelings. It picks out anything remotely negative, it's a viscous cycle. I just hope I can control it enough to not blow it with this girl. She's super special to me.
  15. I took some xanax.. Feeling a little better. Thank God. I've never felt that horrible before. Like my mind was failing me. Anyway I'm not staying in 100mg **** what the doctor says I was doing okay @50mg
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