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icebaby

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icebaby last won the day on June 13 2013

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  • Location
    Midlands UK
  • Interests
    Reading, Craft, Music

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  1. Hello icebaby, so sorry to hear that you are feeling the way you are , how long have you been feeling this way? what do you usually find helps at all if anything? There are days like today that it takes quite an effort for me to get out of my bed at all. Im trying to gather the momentum at the moment to drive an hour to my bank and settle some business i need to do and then maybe go shopping for some clothes as i have worn everything i have to a frazzle and need to get some nice tshirts for going back to work in next week. Wish me luck!!! I hope you begin to see through those damned clouds out there soon . Speaking of clouds i live in Ireland and even in the summer all you get is clouds clouds clouds and rain on any given day, summer or winter ha ha!!! Oooh about 14 years?! To be honest not a lot helps, I generally have to ride it out. That's the way BPD rolls :( I did have some coping mechanisms however I dont use them anymore as they were mainly SI habits. Good Luck. Am not feeling like I can leave the house at the moment. I might do later, or I might just stay here. I'm in the UK and pretty much the same, clouds a plenty :(
  2. Hi, After being pushed around pillar to post for the previous 12 years I had a diagnosis of BPD (amongst other things) last year. The Adult Mental Health team sent a letter to my GP asking for them to put me on a CBT course and look at medication changes. I'm still waiting for this help. It totally depends where you live in the UK just how bad the NHS is for mental health services. It's a really good idea to get yourself some books about BPD and try to teach yourself and learn for yourself what it is and what's best to do. Last time I went to my GP for help he basically told me he couldnt help me but to try another doctor in the practice and see if any of them could help. Whenever I've been to any other in the practice they tell me they cant help me because they're not my assigned GP! My GP has even said in the past that if I was a new patient he wouldnt take me on as I'm too complicated. That's so helpful eh?
  3. Been feeling very very low. Just want to feel better.
  4. I really dont know. I just feel empty and lost and dont know what to do or feel or anything.
  5. Thank you for the support.. I'm in the UK, it's a nightmare here. I'm hoping though that there's a new doctor joining the practice soon. Really hoping that they might actually help me. :S
  6. Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86% 49% Schizoid |||||| 26% 53% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 66% 53% Antisocial |||||||||||| 42% 47% Borderline |||||||||||||||||||| 90% 47% Histrionic |||||| 30% 43% Narcissistic |||||||||| 38% 41% Avoidant |||||||||||| 42% 39% Dependent |||||||||||||||||||| 86% 37% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||| 54% 40%
  7. So I thought I'd try to ask for help at the doctors. Talk about medication help, or the DBT promised to me over a year ago. He basically turned round and said he couldnt help me and that I had to go to someone else (or I could be referred back to mental health, but since I'm still waiting for an appointment from a year ago there's no real point I think) Problem is if I go to the other doctors they tell me they cant help me and that I have to go to 'my' doctor, the one I saw today. What do I have to do to get help? I need help. I asked for it and I get the door slammed in my face. Really dont know what to do now.
  8. I only wanted to find a TV program on iplayer. It wouldnt download without upgrading. It wouldnt upgrade without uninstalling the previous version. I uninstalled it. Now it wont download the new version, keeps saying an error occurred. I am now going nuts. I want to fix this. I know if I let myself I would still be here at 7am trying to fix it. I cant do that. I'm late enough as it is. I could be called in for work in a matter of hours. Trying not to freak and let myself walk away without fixing this until I have time but I know it will be on my mind until it is fixed.
  9. Dont get me wrong. I love my career. I simply hate the job I do at the moment. I never know from one day to the next whether I am working or not. I get woken by a phonecall between 7 and 9 then I have to decide whether I want to risk the place and the class who will not want me to be there. And the aminosity of the other staff there. Or I wake up taking a breath of relief at some point because the phone hasnt rung. But then I realise that it means I have another day of no pay and being alone. Just hate not knowing what Im doing. Need to know what I'm doing. I feel uptight and worried all the time. But contract jobs are very scarce. Blagh. Dont want to go to sleep because I have to go through the whole thing in the morning. But if I dont go to sleep and I do get called in I'll be even more tired. As I say I love my career, but I hate not knowing what I'm doing.
  10. So this morning I have toothache. I am petrified and paranoid. I am sure they will take it out. I'm very very scared of dentists and have lost 4 teeth in the last 5 years. Dont want to look ridiculous, especially when I've no confidence anyway, my mouth looking stupid is the last straw. I'm also just feeling lost and empty. I've joined a dating agency online and i'm fed up of seeing people saying they want someone emotionally stable. Seriously. Anyway, have the feeling I may be rambling way lots today. Dont know why, where, when or anything. Not feeling at ease.
  11. Not that I can afford. The Problem is all the groups round here are classes and I can never garuantee when I'm going to be free, also I cant afford the courses :(
  12. I need a social life. I'm fed up with being the only person who cant just call someone up when they want to go somewhere. Not all the time or anything but even once in a year or something? I have seen two friends so far this year. In 6 whole months. Two. And they werent for a long time. I just want to go out. I want even a tenth of the social life I had as a teenager. And that wasnt a big one. At uni I could go out any night, I could find somewhere, someone, whatever. I just want to go out. It's not FAIR. (and yes I know I sound like a petulant child. Right now I feel like one.)
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