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About sunmicroman

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  1. Are depression and anhedonia separate entities? When doing research, many seem to lump the both together as going hand in hand.
  2. No laughing. That is something I miss the most. Things that should bring me a pleasurable response, such as a sunny day or past good memories generally just bring me pain. Things that are funny bring no emotional response or bring a painful one since I intellectually know I should be laughing, but I can't or don't feel it. I can still cry once in a while, but it is hard. I have never been someone who cries very often, but find myself able to do it a lot more now.
  3. I also cannot control feeling like this. My life should make me feel happy and satisfied at the moment, but my brain won't allow it for some reason. It's like I just can't access the emotional response, no matter how hard I try or think about it.
  4. Thanks for the replies. I was fearful of anhedonia because I feel "flat" or numb most of the time and not depressed. I feel like almost all of my good pleasure feelings have been blunted and I feel like almost nothing in my life brings me any pleasure or happiness, except the areas I mentioned. It's like the pleasure part of my brain is malfunctioning. I have had depression before, but never like this. This seemed to happen after I tried some SSRI drugs for a few weeks that only gave me adverse reactions. After that my attention span went to almost zero, I am bored constantly, I get no pleasure from almost any activity except eating, smelling, and sex. I do feel love for my wife and kids still in a caring way. But, the rest of my pleasure circuit seems to be turned off. I feel I have no meaning in life and am just existing, almost like just as a living organism. I also am confused all the time and cannot work because I can't seem to access my mind's intelligence like I used to. I feel anxiety and fear, and also sadness too. But, happiness seems to fail me. That is why I thought I had some form of anhedonia. But, if the requirement for that is complete apathy for life, then I guess maybe I don't have it. I still stress out about finances and other aspects of life, so maybe it is just severe depression for me, as you both are suspecting.
  5. Question. Is it possible to have partial anhedonia? Here's why I ask. I do not have the ability to feel pleasure from any of the activities that used to give me pleasure. Watching a comedy gives no emotional response. Nor does music, sunshine, nature, etc. However...I can still feel love for my spouse and children. I can still enjoy the taste of a good meal, still can enjoy scents, and still can enjoy sex. Other than those, the only emotions I feel are pain, anxiety, sadness, the bad ones. Would this be considered a "partial" anhedonia? Could it be just from the depressive episode I am currently in? Is there more hope for it? It has basically been the same for a few months now and has not gotten worse.
  6. How many times have you been depressed? I am on my fourth episode and think it might be biological, but do have definite triggers for each. Sad part is once the triggers are gone, depression still remains. :(
  7. The problem is I can try to convince myself, but the emotion doesn't follow when your brain is working so hard against you.
  8. My biggest problem is I can't have a good day by ignoring the depression. It seems to stick around no matter what I do to fake it.
  9. What do you do when you try meds, but the SEs during the startup phase are so bad,it literally drives you insane and make your condition much much worse? I have had this happen with every SSRI I have tried.
  10. Anyone else find themselves weak and shaky due to being depressed. I think that is one of the worse physical symptoms, as it makes me not want to get up or go anywhere. I also have anxiety, so I wonder if it is from shot nerves too. Anyone have some tips to manage this?
  11. I am thankful I got a decent nights sleep last night since I usually wake up many times during the night.
  12. How bad is your depression? It sounds like either you have it well controlled or you are an extremely strong person with a very strong will power.
  13. Yes, I tried Effexor a few years back. The side effects were horrible. I think I was only taking it a few weeks and when I stopped, I had brain zaps and withdrawal symptoms. Is that what they'd give me in the hospital?
  14. Anyone have any experience with participating in clinical trial research for depression treatments? I am considering it and would like some feedback from any who have ever participated in something like this.
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