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Handon Frypan

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Everything posted by Handon Frypan

  1. I'm grieving something, and I don't know what. I can't get to bed because of it.
  2. Had a very good medical appointment yesterday, which was a welcome surprise. But now I'm dealing with a conflict with my mother regarding that. At 43. I'm just tired of it.
  3. I feel overscheduled. Plus, I have some anxiety bout my next phase of life.
  4. Seems pretty humid out, but I've only gone out on my patio.
  5. I have kind of a lump in my throat, but have no clue why. I will say it's been a frustrating weekend, and nothing got accomplished, and I'm not looking forward to tomorrow.
  6. Grief over lost opportunities, some of which are spilt milk. Seem to have a sore throat as well.
  7. Been sleeping a lot today. Feeling disconnected and frustrated that I didn't accomplish anything I expected (and was expected) to do.
  8. I'm OK. Kind of glad I backed out of a certain social thing and sad that I can't make another one. Kind of annoyed that I'm not sure how I want to structure my day.
  9. Beat from 10 hours in the ER relating to a bladder injury I caused myself. Surgery may be pending.
  10. Once again, I am sick in advance of a monthly meeting I was hoping to attend. Previous to late 2017, I had been a regular, but now it's very intermittent. Plus, a messageboard that I lost my credentials to and just regianed them to seems to have become very close to dead when I need it the most. So, today I have felt bouts of maybe both sadness and depression. I don't know. I just feel very detached from my life, not knowing which direction it should go, nor who my friends and loved ones are.
  11. Kind of down and I have no clue why. Maybe just the rain. I am feeling way less anxious about a possible family trip, which I am thrilled about.
  12. Feeling an uneasy sense of transition today. Might take a while to resolve. Functioning OK, though, and have a better handle on my health issues.
  13. De9finitely in a better mindstate today, though the rain and a nagging injury derailed plans. Going out tomorrow, though, because I do have an appointment. Rain forecasted. I'm not overthinking things today. Just microuniting everything in my life.
  14. Another vote for food. 😞 Especially Southern or Miidwestern, or good heavy breakfast. Toast, hash browns, bacon, waffle or pancake and a mimosa is a happy start to the day (but quite caloric). Also, just a clear mind, which seems to be at a premium.
  15. I kind of wanted to go to this dance/cheer exhibition, but the buses aren't running like I need them to. Plus, I'm not sure I'm feeling well enough. Plus, I don't want to be the only middle-age man there. I'm on campus a lot, though, for PT, so, some folks know me. I dunno. I'm rambling.
  16. Change, really, and I think I'm staring that right in the face today.
  17. I'm cold. Also, this is one of those days that thoughts are just careening through my head. Been kind of wanting to visit the family summer cottage in MI, which I haven't been to since 1988. I am a ton older now, and my health is nowhere near what it was back then. Because of that, I'm not even sure how I'd want to occupy myself. But for whatever reason, I want to teleport back to that 1988 feeling. I know it won't happen, and I want to be totally fine with that. The rest of my family hasn't stopped going. Just me for reasons I don't even know. Like I said, my health hasn't been too good, so I need to actually prove that I can do this via another short trip, and the window for it is kind of short, so that's stressing me out. Probably some other stuff, but I'm having trouble accessing that now. This weekend's been a bit of a failure by certain metrics (i.e. deciding what to go out and do), but I feel certain that I can go out and do a movie tomorrow afternoon.
  18. The Drone Zone, a channel at soma dot fm "Drone Forest - "Blurring the Edges"
  19. Would love to be at the auto show, but yet again, my body had other plans.
  20. Mine was literally because I couldn't think of a good moniker. However, slightly before I joined, I did feel emotional pain as severe as holding my hand on a frying pan, so it works, but it's just awkward. I think I tried too hard to condense it and make it into something that sounded like an ethnic name. A pseudonym for on here.
  21. For me, it's a definite moodchanger, and maybe a lifesaver. My earliest memories of music (early 80's) are my mother blasting The Stones, Joan Armatrading and others on her record player. I only ever developed an interest in music in about 1984, hearing two songs: "Jump" by Van Halen and "Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagen. Oddly, though I loved those two songs, I mainly grew up with a self-cultivated interest in new age and contemporary jazz: David Lanz (sometimes with Paul Speer), Dan Siegel, Billy Barber, Exchange (a different one, from Toronto), Ray Lynch...even TV themes by Mike Post. Not the stuff of my peers' palate, but maybe of their parents'. I was a severe social outlier, even amongst the counterculturists of the day. So I never got a good grasp of what the cool kids liked (nor did I care). So, it seems like that "smooth jazz" genre has kind of begun dying. And I've begun getting interested in social development. Especially my own, which was truncated by my congenital physical disability.So currently, 80's mainstream is my favorite music, but I do also like a little punk (especially 80's), old jazz (like Theloneous Monk and Count Basie and others), drone (Stars of the Lid, etc) and ambient techno (Kiasmos). Also, a good amount of indie, but it seems like "indie" has lost its meaning. I love online radio stations, most of which are over the air in their own local markets. KEXP (Seattle), KUOI (University of Idaho, Moscow), WMNF (Tampa) and on and on. Those are all freeform. One block of punk could be followed by, say, a klezmer show or an hour of alt-rap or whatever else. I like being exposed to new (to me) music. But I also listen to a couple of old jazz stations, and, come winter, I like me some Tchaikovsky. Big Nutcracker fan. My grandfather liked Chopin, so there is that connection. Great thread. Hope to hear more.
  22. I'd like to be at the Nutcracker now, but things fell through.
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