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Handon Frypan

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Everything posted by Handon Frypan

  1. A bit humbled. Posted something on, I'm assuming, the "What Are You Listening To" thread that got flagged for a mod/admin, and I really don't know what the problem is (and I don't want to cause problems). ETA: Never had that happen.
  2. Took my wheelchair in for a repair, and within an hour it became undone. My backup wheelchair is also needing to have a repair (even worse, actually). Needing to get a haircut. Not sure if I will because of the wheelchair situation. Parental relationship is very tense, even at 46 years old. Just a lot of things at once.
  3. Kind of a heavy day. Went to an appointment with a lymphedema expert and will be visiting her several more times. Just another medical problem to deal with. Plus, I got all honest with my mother about the meal plan my parents have me on, which seems to be making things worse. I'm always craving really bad things after eating the really good things. And my body can't take that. I also kind of accidentally told my mother to stop talking about food intake and such. It came out more harsh and absolutist than I intended. I don't want to shut my parents out; they are getting old. But I'm a bit burned out by the helicoptery feel of our relationship. But change is hard. "Change" is today's theme, methinks.
  4. Been a while since I've posted. I've done much better at managing my internal body temp, so I'm not quite as temp-sensitive, lately. However, today's trip to the scale was rather defeating. I think part of it is that I can't exercise so much on my own because my wheelchair is in chronic disrepair. But, another is lacking discipline in my diet.
  5. It's still fairly cold here. Maybe mid-60's fahrenheit, and sometimes windy. I finally got my heater to work, though, and while I woke up to chills, I have done pretty well the rest of the day. Everything seems orginized better as far as what I have to do over the next few days, too. I'm in a much better frame of mind than earlier today.
  6. I was able to get a new password. Didn't think I would because I thought I had registered under a different email. Relieved! Also listened to music a while, and just soaked in what I was being told. Life is a journey. Not pleasant at times, but if we step back a bit, we can better assess what people are really saying. Doing better.
  7. Kind of overeastered. But also sad that I'm sad. Also constantly trying to take criticism for what it is and nothing more. No small feat. Oh, and now I'm locked out of one of my favorite forums.
  8. Stars of the Lid - "Requiem for Dying Mothers, Parts 1 and 2"
  9. Still cold. Also unexpectedly worn out from a dental procedure to prepare me for a new crown. A bit fragile because of all of this.
  10. Still cold and wondering if I have developed cold sensitivity due to my disability (always been heat sesitive).
  11. I'm feeling kind of...poorly calibrated? The rain has made mobility hard. I had looked forward to a push. I also looked forward to a nap today, but kind of put it off for too long and didn't have it. I'm just feeling kind of vacant right now. Hard to really expand on that, but I'm curious what tomorrow will bring. I think it'll be OK. One thing is that if I am too cold and/or sleepy, I can't enjoy reading, and I've been warming up to Dharma Bums, by Kerouac, lately. It was hard to get through what I've gotten through, but I have and it's kind of neat. I'll need to read some tomorrow.
  12. I had a bellylaugh at some posts on an atheist forum I belong to, so that was cool. I tend to resist doing that for some reason.
  13. I feel like people around me are cranky toward me.
  14. I misjudged my intake of sugar today, and that's combining with issues with my heater and family visiting, and worrying I'll be under a microscope.
  15. I discovered some important medical supplies that I thought I lost. Saves me a trip to outpatient.
  16. Very cold lately. I think my heater doesn't work and I was convinced by the maintenance crew that it does. Today I napped for about three hours. I also ate a fair amount. I feel some shame at all this. I feel vaguely uneasy right about now. Kind of a lump in my throat, but I'm not precisely sure why. Tomorrow was to be for grocery shopping. Now? Hopefully wheelchair maintenance that is now desperately needed after dropping bolts who knows where downtown coming back from the ballet.
  17. It's rainy and cold and my heater doesn't work, which is all impacting my cognition. My mother called today kind of pleading for me to let her help me with something. I need a break from her. I am going to Nutcracker on Saturday and she is taking responsibility for it even though it is my event for which I bought tickets. Also waiting for a new wheelchair, which has been delayed due to COVID. Surrounded by people, but lonely nonetheless.
  18. It's Thanksgiving here, and I am not feeling well at all. My family intends to come over both today andtomorrrow, plus I have to call other family, and send gifts. Anxiety is pretty high.
  19. I keep going up and down. I had a good workout today, and did some laundry. But I'm feeling some vague sense of loss and failure as well. Hoping I can sleep properly and have a good perspective on it all tomorrow. All I know is I'm tired of being sick.
  20. Failure in communication with a dailyish attendant who stopped showing because of my sickness. Failure on my part of missing a request from my doctor. This all has created a lot of anxiety and a sudden decline in health, even though my cold seems to be abating. Wondering, as long as I live, how long I can maintain my current health, or improve it. Wishing you all well.
  21. Cought what appears to be a cold, but with kidney infection symptoms. My PT people are requiring a COVID test, and an online e-visit with my HMO is suggesting ER.
  22. Same here. Kind of numb, maybe? I have an LD that centers around organization, and that just got really badly tested today when I couldn't find one phone, the other hadn't been operating for a while (I thought I needed a new battery and didn't know where to find one), and the third has been missing for about a week. The platform locator button wasn't helping at all. The missing cell was too charge-dead to ping back to the platform. Luckily, about an hour after losing the second of my two landline phones, the cellphone starts working again like it hasn't in weeks, and the landline appears under my bed. I'm happy. Don't get me wrong. But I'm still decompressing from crisis mode and am really presenting like some sort of zombie. Hopefully this ebbs.
  23. Hot, overscheduled, and fragile. Been sick lately with a UTI. Been curious about some emerging mental health issues.
  24. Riding a wave of optimism and feeling pretty well accomplished today. We'll see if it sticks.
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