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Handon Frypan

Silver Member
  • Content Count

    796
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About Handon Frypan

  • Rank
    Silver Member
  • Birthday 12/12/1975

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    west coast USA
  • Interests
    college soccer/ gymnastics/tennis, travel, just trying to enjoy life, but at my own speed. I'm an atheist.

    Also into music. Lately old jazz, indie, and drone.

Recent Profile Visitors

1,814 profile views
  1. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    No sports lately. And this weekend, I have been suffering from major GI issues plus chills. Plus, today, a woman yelled at me for some ongoing problem that I was never made aware of. I tend to feel like a dunce, and feel a sense of an impending crash onto my world, as if it will be one of those days where everybody gets angry at me for one reason or another. Luckily, that did not happen. But I'm a bit anxious about tomorrow, my birthday celebration (one day early). I'm kind of worrie that I won't be able to pull myself up and enjoy the moment, if only for the sake of my parents, who will call me on it if I don't.
  2. Handon Frypan

    What Are You Listening To? #3

    The drone zone on soma dot fm
  3. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    I had a very good talk with my LCSW the other day. She encOuraged me to get out there and do stuff, and that it doesn't need to be too scary to change from the routine a bit. Unfortunately, tonight was not he night due to a shoulder injury, so I missed out on a volleyball game. And tomorrow there doesn't appear to be any reason to go out, so, maybe Saturday. Either volleyball or baseball.
  4. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    My mood has been way off and I have no clue why. My sudden physical meltdown isn't helping, but there is something else. Plans cancelled.
  5. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    Body is revolting once again. Very sick this weekend. Had to cancel plans. I feel like I'm at a new phase of life, and it's not a good thing.
  6. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    My body is revolting. I know I'm not treating it right, and it's kind of telling me. I feel like a failure.
  7. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    Physically I am much improved from my last post, but now it's the mind that doesn't want to do anything. Usually it is the other way around.
  8. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    I'm physically too ill to go out and get the prescription I am supposed to have in order not to be ill. It's been an aggravating week as pertains to the illness. And to complicate, one of my lab tests was botched, so I am needing to do it again.
  9. Handon Frypan

    How Is Your Weather Today? #17

    Seems quite muggy today, but then I may just be fatigued from a UTI.
  10. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    Sleeping a lot today. Worrying about my mobility.
  11. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    I am weathering a change in my personal aide staff, and transition is always hard. The aforementioned Facebook situation has definitely improved, so that's good. Finally, I have problems with my debit card, and am panicked about that.
  12. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    I feel unsettled. I got a new computer a couple weeks ago, but now all my passwords are gone, so among other things, I am shut out from the main messageboard that I was once a part of. If I make a new account, then both accounts will be banned. I still do lurk on there, and I notice nobody has inquired as to my whereabouts. Kind of makes me sad. As well, none of my family members on FB are answering my friend requests. I feel kind of rejected, and just plain burned out. Finally, my sleep patterns are way off. I have been napping a lot for its own sake, and not because I am actually tired. All of this just makes me feel weird.
  13. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    Wow. OK, it's 4:13 am. I awoke just before 4am, and vague but intense thoughts were bouncing around in my head. I awoke from a nightmare that didn't even seem like a nightmare at the time, just a richly textured dream tat was in some ways deeply steeped in real life. Ever since I woke up, it's like my philosophical side has slammed into overdrive and I'm trying to get off that flying carousel. I do truly feel like my conversation with my mother dredged up emotions. The conversation was just about life after my parents die, which I do think is sort of anxiety-producing because how am I supposed to get by? And why, at 42, has self care and "Life Skills 101" evaded me? Odd question to be asking myself, since I have a hard time getting along with her a lot of the time. She expects herself and those around her to be so cheerful, and when I can't live up to that, it's as if somebody has failed: either me or her. She is an LCSW (retired), so I guess it seems like these difficulties shouldn't be happening, but they do. I'm disabled from birth, my biological father stroked when I was maybe 8, and died when I was 14. My mother was our sole caretaker for a while. To this day, I am unclear what sort of help she ever asked for. If any. She also grew up around a lot of alcohol. Thankfully she and my uncle are doing extremely well in that department. I love dry white alcohol and cheap lager, but I drink less than once a month, and only 16 oz. at a time or so. My body stops me every time (unless my conscience kicks in first). So I feel very well educated in that department, and feel very lucky for it. It's early. I'm rambling. My mind (perhaps thankfully) is kind of shutting down again. I guess this is all I have to say, unless anybody has any questions. Nice to be back. I think I'll stick around a while.
  14. Handon Frypan

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    I haven't dropped by here for a while, and it seems like this website feels different than it used to. I need to post more. So...my mother came over for about an hour. Very, very (unnecessarily) talkative as usual. Repeating a lot of themes to me. Getting really philosophical about my life, and it was just draining. It wasn't a fight. Just a weird conversation---but one that sees like it was necessary somehow. My father will meet with us both on Friday, and hopefully I will no longer be stalled in the water. As for my general life, I've emotionally been OK, but I have been trying to convince myself to cancel plans and be a homebody lately. Like, I've felt this need to oversimplify plans lately. And something about that seems depressive even though my emotions have been adequate.
  15. Handon Frypan

    The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Panicked. Full of anxiety. "Preparedness" needs to be my mantra. The whole week is going to be a bit stressful, and I am stressed about that.
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