Handon Frypan

Didn't know there was a "new one". I feel like I don't keep up with this place too well.

New day. Feeling much better than last night mentally. Bit short on medical supplies, so that might cause some issues (fighting urge to get political). Still navigating a sickness. But I think this will be a better day.

Scared to move, scared to reach out (to who?). Been sick lately snd am slowly navigating welcoming a roommate. Also pondering my current system of caregivers. I feel paralyzed.

Long, heavy talk with my father followed by a roommate interview. Big afternoon. Changes are happening and I feel out of control. I haven't had this quality of anxiety in 19 1/2 years.

The doc didn't seem overly concerned about my leg injury that I mentioned. It's obvious now it was just a bad strain. Able to bear almost all weight as before. Feeling pretty much normal after the food poisoning. Starting probiotics for it. Enjoying the World Cup. Hoping you all can have a good day.

Resting due to a bad fall this morning that damaged my right adductor muscles in my groin. Unable to bear weight in certain positions, but more or less fine in others. Seeing doc for a checkup anyway on Tue. Hoping I can wait.

Lump in my throat this afternoon. I seem to have gotten over my food poisoning, but it's just another in a long line of health issues. I think it's all related to food addiction in a way. On the COVID front, I have remained negative through all this time. However, all this quarantining and other measures has made me a recluse. My mother was trying to remember the last time that she, my father, and I went o a movie and the last one was apparently Harriet. I kind of used to be somewhat of a movie buff, but have always had the heart of a recluse, too, so thinking about another family movie, even after all this time, gives me a bit of anxiety.

I'm basically over the aforementioned flu, but yesterday, I suffered food poisoning. Still recovering from it. Couldn't see a family member because of it.

Caught the flu, but thankfully not positive, per home test, for COVID. Still, it's completely weakened me. And thus certain chores are way behind (including groceries).

A bit humbled. Posted something on, I'm assuming, the "What Are You Listening To" thread that got flagged for a mod/admin, and I really don't know what the problem is (and I don't want to cause problems). ETA: Never had that happen.

Took my wheelchair in for a repair, and within an hour it became undone. My backup wheelchair is also needing to have a repair (even worse, actually). Needing to get a haircut. Not sure if I will because of the wheelchair situation. Parental relationship is very tense, even at 46 years old. Just a lot of things at once.

Kind of a heavy day. Went to an appointment with a lymphedema expert and will be visiting her several more times. Just another medical problem to deal with. Plus, I got all honest with my mother about the meal plan my parents have me on, which seems to be making things worse. I'm always craving really bad things after eating the really good things. And my body can't take that. I also kind of accidentally told my mother to stop talking about food intake and such. It came out more harsh and absolutist than I intended. I don't want to shut my parents out; they are getting old. But I'm a bit burned out by the helicoptery feel of our relationship. But change is hard. "Change" is today's theme, methinks.

Been a while since I've posted. I've done much better at managing my internal body temp, so I'm not quite as temp-sensitive, lately. However, today's trip to the scale was rather defeating. I think part of it is that I can't exercise so much on my own because my wheelchair is in chronic disrepair. But, another is lacking discipline in my diet.

It's still fairly cold here. Maybe mid-60's fahrenheit, and sometimes windy. I finally got my heater to work, though, and while I woke up to chills, I have done pretty well the rest of the day. Everything seems orginized better as far as what I have to do over the next few days, too. I'm in a much better frame of mind than earlier today.

I was able to get a new password. Didn't think I would because I thought I had registered under a different email. Relieved! Also listened to music a while, and just soaked in what I was being told. Life is a journey. Not pleasant at times, but if we step back a bit, we can better assess what people are really saying. Doing better.