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Natasha1

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  1. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from hocico in Lonelystreet's 'What made you smile today? :)' Thread, Part 2   
    Aw, missed you sober4life!!
  2. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from Nightjar in Lonelystreet's 'What made you smile today? :)' Thread, Part 2   
    Aw, missed you sober4life!!
  3. Like
    Natasha1 reacted to sober4life in Lonelystreet's 'What made you smile today? :)' Thread, Part 2   
    Seeing you back here makes me smile.❤️
  4. Like
    Natasha1 reacted to Shijima in Hi all (again)   
    Hello Natasha,  welcome back to DF~
  5. Haha
    Natasha1 got a reaction from nojoy in How Is Your Weather Today? #20   
    Last posts of the previous thread:

    JD4010     17,567
    This has been a nasty summer here. So much heat and humidity. Today is especially bad. I want to go outside and walk around but it's absolutely miserable.
    0
    sober4life     26,933
    Posted 5 hours ago I saw 97 again today.  When I went for my walk this morning I passed the cows about 9 AM and the cows thought I was the farmer and they were begging me to put them back in the barn.
  6. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from Bbqdad in Creativity When Depressed #3   
    Winds of Hell
    The wind is howling through the trees and my ears. I smell it like a bee smells the Lavender, and I am afraid it will take me away like seeds of the Dandelion. 
    Only the seeds land on infertile soil.
    They die as my inner hurricane rushes through, breathing its hate into all of my thoughts.
    No control. Just chaos.
    That voice honstantly tells me things, as the memories gust through common sense. The things no one would understand.
    But I do.
    And I act accordingly.  Hurting, hurting. Wilting. Dying.
    Fly Dorothy, fly.
  7. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from Rach4masaya in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Hi Duck. Big hug. Take a deep breath. You can get through this. 
  8. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from anon22ae in The Post Anything Thread #4   
    What to post what to post what to post lol.
    Maybe that the gateway is opening and i marvel at what it is leading to.
    A gift i have dismissed for decades. 
  9. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from Extremebeginner in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    I am calm and feeling positive.
  10. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from JD4010 in The Post Anything Thread #4   
    What to post what to post what to post lol.
    Maybe that the gateway is opening and i marvel at what it is leading to.
    A gift i have dismissed for decades. 
  11. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from sober4life in The Post Anything Thread #4   
    What to post what to post what to post lol.
    Maybe that the gateway is opening and i marvel at what it is leading to.
    A gift i have dismissed for decades. 
  12. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from Nightjar in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Hi Duck. Big hug. Take a deep breath. You can get through this. 
  13. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from Nightjar in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    I am calm and feeling positive.
  14. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from sober4life in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Hi Duck. Big hug. Take a deep breath. You can get through this. 
  15. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from sober4life in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    I am calm and feeling positive.
  16. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from anon22ae in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    I am calm and feeling positive.
  17. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from anon22ae in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Hi Duck. Big hug. Take a deep breath. You can get through this. 
  18. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from jkd_sd in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    I am calm and feeling positive.
  19. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from duck in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    I am calm and feeling positive.
  20. Thanks
    Natasha1 got a reaction from duck in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Hi Duck. Big hug. Take a deep breath. You can get through this. 
  21. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from iWantRope in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    I am calm and feeling positive.
  22. Like
    Natasha1 reacted to duck in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    I am fed up with life.  Too many toxic people to deal with.  I just had breakfast at 6 pm my time because my sisters were in the kitchen and bathroom all day.  My medication schedule is ruined because I could not take them in the morning.  This is BS. 
    I have this form from insurance to fill which is a pain in the butt.  I am thinking of giving up. I am tired of fighting with lazy doctors and therapists.  Only in Canada.
  23. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from Kogent5 in Tips and Trcks   
    Sharing tips and tricks is bad. I won't help others do this to themselves.
  24. Like
    Natasha1 got a reaction from womanofthelight in Creativity When Depressed #3   
    The Old Days
    Ever talk about the old days? Or back in the day?
    Were they good times for you? I bet a lot of people would say so.
    Me, not so much.
    I remember the mask though. The constant hiding behind it. Pain itself is a mask. It comes with the kit.
    "Step right up folks! Heres your pain, suffering, paranoia and inadequacies! Comes with a built-in consealer! A mask so effective, it will have you believe you are on top of the world as you die inside!"
    I think about the old days a lot. The highs i got from my behaviour. I often revisit those days and sometimes put the mask back on. But, then i realize i havent put it on. It was there all along.
    The old days are back.
    The old days are here.
    The old days are now.
    Because they were never gone!
  25. Sad
    Natasha1 got a reaction from womanofthelight in Creativity When Depressed #3   
    Well i started writing one thing, then it turned into sometthing else and then it changed again. Its not done and it is a bunch of crap. Oh well.
     
    I'm afraid of the dark.
    It's always been that way.
    You'd think I'd be comfortable with it, since
    it matches me,
    It's a part of me.

    No...it IS me.

    Feeling my way through the dark, hard floor
    Yearning to see the light
    Or just to see.
    But black I'll be.

    I know I'll go like he did.
    Waiting for 70 or more
    For the cancer will hit
    And spread

    That's how it took him,
    Her too.

    I write this
    With pain in my heart
    In my mind
    And in my soul

    Tears sting
    And fall
    Why do I bother at all

    The dark is here
    Drowning me
    With waves of cold
    Slapping my face

    In the garden
    The plants that I grew
    Have thorns and vines
    They all know me too

    All too well, I suppose
    Those vines choke me
    And the thorns stab me
    They all know

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