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Everything posted by Natasha1

  1. He, she, they....all say the stupidest things don't they? List them here
  2. Its not well written but most of my stuff is written quickly. I'm done about the same time that i start. Memory "Maybe you shouldnt have wasted all that time at the yoga place and been a good mom instead." I'm sitting here, remembering the conversation. Sitting here as I relive the pain once again. That pain that sets in when i have realized that yes once again, i taste of failure. That taste, bitter and sour, reeks of your love. The rank care you take when you tell me that I get bigger every year. That I fail as a mother. And you. Your scent is acidic. You tell me that my negativity is bringing everyone down. I'll remember that. When he does the same...hey he did it 5 minutes before I did. I'll remember that the next time you do it. Which is daily. I keep forgetting that it's only for the elite. I'm on the bottom in this household. In this life. I was growing up too. So why am I not accustomed to my status? Because I forgot. So here I am again. Waiting for the diagnosis. I thought I was over all that. But maybe...just maybe? Then I could be appreciated and loved when you both realize that soon I'll be gone. No. I wouldn't even get that. You see, when he went, he went home to die. I was there for two weeks in the beginning. We took care of him. It was rough but we were there. I forgot. I would never get the same care and treatment. No way would they do that for me. I'll have the hospital room where they will leave me to rot alone, just waiting for the phone call when they can finally sign the papers and be done with me for good. The time will come, when my rancid life will end and theirs can begin. And then they can forget me.
  3. Wish i lived where you do. Hiking trails a canyon and mountains beside my house but yeah...
  4. Unaccepted. Husband and daughter. Doesnt matter what i do it will never be good enough.
  5. Im sorry too, @Depressedgurl007. The notification is automatic from the software itself which isnt owned by df so we cant control what it says. I hate that it affected you this way. Im glad 20years was able to get to it snd hope you feel better soon. Hugs
  6. Natasha1

    Last night was a bust

    Nothing like a nap with a cat!
  7. Bad news...i was so wrong but thought i was right. So so wrong. So much harm done. Good news...i no longer dig in my claws.
  8. Wednesday, Aug. 7th 30 min elliptical, 30 min treadmill Thursday, Aug 8th hot yoga Friday, Aug 9th Saturday, Aug 10th Sunday, Aug 11th hot yoga Monday, Aug 12th 30 min elliptical, 30 min treadmill...used incline up to 7 to push up my heart rate dince im walking. Tuesday, Aug. 13th
  9. A bit blah. Waiting for hot yoga to open. I want to do it but i really dont.
  10. Looking into this. Please always report spam by pm or on boards!
  11. I got my free month at a gym yesterday (part of a prediabetes study) Ill be getting a pass for myself and my daughter in September. So we can work on swim team stuff. Yep, im joining her swim team next summer! I dont even know how to do a turn lol
  12. Natasha1

    What a Load

    Dude, can you get out thre for just FIVE minutes today? At the end, stand still and look around. What do you notice?
  13. Oh i do this too. Some of my bestest recipes are online
  14. Climbed a small mountain today. Felt like i was dying
  15. Having my kid be proud of me for wanting to join her swim team as an adult swimmer. Having another mom in the club looking forward to me joining so that she has an accountability partner.
  16. Sweetheart, just do one. Tell yourself that its ok to do just the one. Try to do it later in the day so you are less likely to do two.
  17. Never a dull moment. But im never surprised anymore. I could write this stuff.
  18. My dsughter has swimmming today. Maybe i should swim too? I hsve 4 hours to do whst i want. Run, hike, walk, bike, swim. Dont know what i should do.
  19. I think the other board memners of the swim club think im an idiot crybaby
  20. You probably could But no i dont think you should You are way too good
  21. Im hot. Very very hot. I cant cool down from my hike snd its been 6 hours. Im starting to worry now.
  22. Im nervous about my hike today. Going into unknown territory and not going alone, meaning i will hold her back since she is incredibly in shape and i am not.
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