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Everything posted by Natasha1

  1. New thread link: https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/175353-20yearsandcountings-what-are-you-listening-to-thread-5/
  2. Last posts from previous thread: Atra 5,666 Posted 17 hours ago On The Other Side - Blanco White Lady Mozzer 13,712 Posted 23 minutes ago Bring On The Dancing Horses ~ Echo & the Bunnymen
  3. New thread link: https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/175352-how-is-your-weather-today-20/
  4. Last posts of the previous thread: JD4010 17,567 This has been a nasty summer here. So much heat and humidity. Today is especially bad. I want to go outside and walk around but it's absolutely miserable. 0 sober4life 26,933 Posted 5 hours ago I saw 97 again today. When I went for my walk this morning I passed the cows about 9 AM and the cows thought I was the farmer and they were begging me to put them back in the barn.
  5. Sharing tips and tricks is bad. I won't help others do this to themselves.
  6. Thinking about what a selfish ahole my husband is.selfish child left making dinner (he bbqs chicken,) because he was pissed off that the matches werent where he was expecting them to be. Spiteful prick. And he went to bed without a word after shutting us out and i have NO FREAKING IDEA where he hid the easter bunny candy. So she has gone to bed excited about it and now there will be nothing.
  7. @nojoy i am so relating to your post. Obviously i have separate things going on. But god i feel so much the same. And every god damned day it just gets worse. I wish i could make it better. I wish i could be more positive. But right now i just...every day its something and these things only come, dont go. They all keep coming every day never going, so its getting a little tight in here. Hug
  8. "Whats wrong?" "Nothing" "Ok then" Really, if you need to ask then you are fucking stupid.
  9. Thing is i was so hurt. My face was burning and my eyes welled up. Anxiety attack started up. I shed some tears. Then bummed the rest of the day.im still hurt. No 3rd party without raising a ruckus or involving people that it wouldnt be fair to. This is a stupid thing. Its usually much worse.
  10. I shouldnt care, right? I dont know what it was that i supposedly did. I know i drive people away through my behaviour. But this case i did nothing to these people. And i was so supportive to them and their kid. Honestly, what did i do? It will drive me crazy. For the rest of my life. Its one thing to know why, but being in the dark makes me obsess. If i were "normal" i probably wouldnt be creative but the pain i go through...i always wonder if i would be better off that way.
  11. Crap really?? Ill have to look into that
  12. "...If a virus has lined him up..." good grief girl, the way you write, the things you say, the wit, the charm, everything!!! You are gifted. Everytime a notification comes for your blog posts i am ON IT!
  13. I think most do. Its rare for our age groups
  14. @samadhiSheol my husband said he found they are working on a vaccine and human trials are starting. Of course if it is effective it will take a while to make it for the masses...
  15. Doesnt it have to do with how it spreads though? If everyone gets sick at the same time its trouble. Hospital staff cant deal with that and as nentioned above thrre wont be enough beds. Then hospotal staff will get run down, making it harder for them. Plus, they are more at risk. Those masks dont do anything for this. The regular flu doesnt spread as fast does it and onset is more obvious?? Im not up on facts but putting that out there. Im trying to not "know too much." I returned a heart event monitor to the hospital a few days ago. I have symptoms. I put it in a ziploc and wrote "i have symptoms" on it with a sharpie. Then, instead of leaving it in the bin as i was supposed to, i waited in line to make sure someone wore gloves. The girl went to check as she didnt know if they did. She thanked me and said i was thoughtful. Someone else came out with gloves on to collect it. She thanked me very appreciatively. If hospital staff are acting that way then that tells me something. They either know something or are seeing it. My husband and i have also talked about how we think theres something that "they" arent telling us. *shrug*
  16. Never ever would i give them. But ive got quite a few and i so wish i could talk about them here. I am sinking, being swallowed by the curling, crashing arch. I dont know what else to do.
  17. Thats okay just yell My silent screaming inside, I will never tell
  18. Here i go again Restrict, over-exercise Never will you care
  19. I am experiencing anxiety for so many different levels. I should count them. They all effect each other in a vicious cycle, the second stage being that i have to wait for an answer from an organization. And either answer affects every other stage of possibilities. Corona itself is level one of the diagram. Then there is a possibility that the other org closes its doors which it hasnt. Im involved with them and its a petri dish there. But is affected on multiple levels as well. Then there are my decisions once i get the yay or nay. All of this is separate from if food supply is an issue or not. Im about to lose it.
  20. On my mind...... The heart event monitor i returned to the hospital today. How it will show nothing even though my previous symptoms were actually pretty scary. Maybe its the eating disorder finally talking. But others wont hear it. Well, i hear it. Im taking notice after all these years. On my mind... How i recorded an event on it and documented it in the middle of the night and i cant remember it at all. It makes no sense as a different pencil was used and the time written would have been before the two previous entries that i DO remember clearly. On my mind... Nice intro to the upcoming sleep study i guess. And how nothing will come of that either. Just like the last time. I guess ill carry on with getting up at 1 00 am for the day, or the rare times im able to sleep again at 3 only to awaken at 5. Oh, and the apparent new thing, sleepwalking. Great.
  21. Yes, paranoia Will get the better of me Yes, better for you
  22. The tricks of the trade Abandonment; isn't new Just like ev'ryone Not original Good student of the masters Always taught so well That's what dreams are for Daydreams, nightly Fantasies They will never leave
  23. Nothing can be done except to turn back time. Its fine kinda. I have to accept it.
  24. Ive done some terrible things. I am a horrible person. Thank you all for your help and support.
  25. I am on the couch It's not me who should sleep here But now i can dream And you can't stop me And he cant stop me either I can dream fake love
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