Natasha1

Lol! Aw....is the pore widdle baby's gaslighting attempt not working? Awwwww pore widdle baby... Gaslight away "honey" You suck at selling, as nobody is buying. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That's all

Massive retrograde crap going on...im hearing a lot about things being messed up for everyone.

Now that I figured out what to do with my life path number, it hasn't been stalking me everywhere I go and it's now a new number that has to do with balance. Karmic justice. Phew. I did a past life reading that supports my past life regression vision. Supports my theory on a major fear that I have in life as well as my kid's severe aversion to a specific thing. Things are becoming so clear. My recent breakdown was all part of my awakening. It started last fall. Was a yoyo journey. But clarity now. It's here. And it is helping me so much. If you have read this far, I applaud you lol...I know 95% of the planet thinks this is all hooey. But I guess I can be grouped with the circus freaks so I hope you enjoy the show!

Dad came to me after my request and hypnosis routine. He sent me numbers that break down to my life path numbers. *sigh* 13 (Death Card) and 4 (The Emperor Card). I do know what my life purpose is and I was also a healer in my past lives but I don't want to end what I feel I'm supposed to end in this life. I've come too far and worked on that part of my life. The Universe doesn't owe me squat, I know, but I the mere human in me still believes a karmic reward is in order lol. I guess they will force it on me eventually if I keep fighting it. And another huge Tower moment will be upon me. On a bonus side, yesterday my reading resonated with her so much. Closed my eyes to channel messages first before cards and that part of the reading hit her hard. Then the cards supported it 100%. It's always amazing and I shouldn't be surprised anymore but yeah...I still am whenever I get feedback. I am so happy I discovered this gift. I always had it remembering things from when I was a young child, but I just didn't know. Wasn't listening. And it sometimes brings me such joy.

Today it is time to start channeling again. Yesterday's meditation did wonders. So many synchronicities and signs. Last night's dreams were full of things to address. I was blocked because I was blocking. I wasn't listening. I woke up to a request today. Was amazing. So I can help someone today too. First step look at the dreams, meditation and collective readings then help her. It's time to turn things around now. The promised transformation is happening. I like this promise. Things are meant to happen like this.

Calling doctor on Tuesday. Been showing symptoms that may just be showing up 22 years early. Wonder how long it will take,? Then again he said I can catch it in time. Which way do I want to go?

Betrayed and abandoned

7 of swords 3 of swords 5 of swords 10 of swords The Moon The Devil The Tower Dang that's a lot of sword cards! The Moon, the illusions , it's all clear. The true colours of grey and black taint the canvass.

I am unappreciated

I am undeserving

I am worthless

After all the time I gave. Away from my family. I even put them before my job, risking my business. And now I apparently don't deserve to get help. Funny how things work. I was never good enough was I?

It's coming. Maybe. I was slated for age 70. 22 years is a bit to wait. But I have been asking Spirit to take me sooner. I haven't even been giving readings anymore. Giving readings and helping people always helped me. My clairaudience is quieting down though. My dreams are prophetic. I haven't meditated on some of them yet so at this point I am unsure of it's an awakening/transformation or a literal death. I am meeting with a urologist in 2 months. So it's possible that Spirit is listening. Maybe the Law of Attraction really does work when feasible. Maybe it's bladder cancer instead of brain. Maybe it will be painful. I deserve that. Maybe Daddy will come to me and give me some information again. Maybe he can tell me if I will be with him soon. Maybe...

I feel ya.

Yeah, not meant for me Leave what no longer serves me? Spirit says die alone Tell me dear Spirit Why was it given at all Oh the damned contract? The one signed in blood? Or tears from my tired soul? When sent to this hole My soul is tired Spirit please make it stop now Have I not learned yet,? Past life regressions Showed me so much that was done That no one should see Why give me this gift To see things if you can't be clear Yeah be vague then leave Abandonment kills They will never understand and everyone leaves

Good God I am so tired of correcting the apostrophe out of its when it's not supposed to be there. It's driving me nuts.

I wasn't listening. Something I have always been proud of is I could do readings on myself objectively. I should work on opening up and developing my clairaudience more and get my other clairs past their infancy stage. At least I am able to help other people but who is going to help me? All I have ever wanted in this life isn't meant for me. The cards told me. My dreams as well. Spirit doesn't want me to have what I want. I THINK im seeing what my life purpose is but it's still pretty muddy. I think my soul was meant to sing, but it's tired and its voice is broken.

Sleepy

I was diagnosed a few years ago. It's a very hard road. DBT is key.

Nice to see you @Epictetus

Hi JD! I'm not sure why I came back really. Overall things are ok, not perfect but good. I felt an urge to come here though. Maybe j just missed yall. Happy to see you too.

Just finished a big bowl of harvest crunch