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Teril

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Everything posted by Teril

  1. I've been on a combo of Wellbutrin + Zoloft for at least 15 years, asked the same question of my psychiatrist and was only told, "The Zoloft/SSRI boosts the Wellbutrin." I didn't find that helpful so I began to research. Two main reasons I have discovered over the years and ones that keep coming up in various articles and literature over and over are: 1. There is a potential danger of Wellbutrin causing seizures, especially at higher levels ie. 300+ mg. Adding an SSRI lessens that potential. (I've been on many meds over the years that include seizures as a potential side effect plus potential seizures if one goes cold turkey off Wellbutrin or Klonopin - both of which I've done (not by choice and I definitely advise against it) and never had seizures, but everyone is different.) 2. Here's the one that infuriates me, given my history: Wellbutrin can cause anxiety; adding an SSRI combats that. (My initial diagnosis 30ish years ago was Major Depression, Recurrent/Rapid Cycling. It took about a year to find the correct combo of meds in the correct dose for major depressive episodes to be kept at bay. I felt well for years, led an active life, including earning an M.A. in Mental Health Counseling and working in the field...until my psych. decided to add Wellbutrin. I can't recall now why. Very shortly afterwards I began experiencing anxiety that kept getting worse until I had a new diagnosis to add to the first one: Major Anxiety Disorder. I was put on Klonopin without being told it should ONLY be used short-term (no longer than 2 weeks) AND is EXTREMELY ADDICTIVE. To round out the entire fiasco - he placed me on an extremely high dose - 5 mg! By the time I felt well enough to research Klonopin, my body was already addicted. The end result was having to go on SSDI 10 years ago due to the anxiety being so severe it affected my work. Only recently have I begun to realize that the Wellbutrin likely triggered the anxiety then my psych got to put me on yet another med. Thankfully, after being turned over to one of my psychiatrist's P.A.'s when he began conducting "medical trials", the Klonopin was lowered. After a few years I quit going to that practice and my meds are now prescribed by my doctor who uses supplements if at all possible for various issues. I currently take 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 100 mg Zoloft 1xday, and 150 Wellbutrin SR 1x/day.)
  2. Hi nojoy, Over the past 20 years I've taken generic Wellbutrin HCL (bupropion) in both SR & XL from 150 mg to 300 mg coupled with 100 mg generic Zoloft (sertraline). Currently taking Wellbutrin 150 SR + 100 mg Zoloft. I went to the same psychiatrist for 30 years, now prescribed the meds by a specialist I'm seeing for Hashimotos thyroiditis. (Sidenote: I was diagnosed with major depression/recurrent years prior to the Hashimotos (a thyroid autoimmune disease) diagnoses. In research I've done recently, I've discovered that thyroid conditions, especially Hashimotos, mimic depression. It is very possible I actually do not have clinical depression and as the Hashimotos is being brought under control as well as drastically changing my eating habits, I'm finding much less of a dependence on the meds.) I asked my former psychiatrist why an SSRI was always prescribed with Wellbutrin. The only answer I received was "The SSRI boosts the effects of Wellbutrin." Maybe partially true but I dug into this a bit deeper and discovered some interesting things: (1) Especially on higher doses ie. 300 mg, there is the potential for seizures; the SSRI is added to avoid that. I would recommend your own research on this because the word "seizure" is scary. It seems some people are more prone to this than others. Wellbutrin is also not to be stopped without tapering due to seizures as well but I went off cold-turkey twice, once due to a mess up on my p-doc's part; once because I thought I didn't need them anymore. I felt like I had a bad flu for about 10 days each time and, fortunately didn't know about the seizure connection then. (2) Wellbutrin is known to cause anxiety. Hmmm...now there's a kick in the pants!! Could be another reason for the SSRI and, coincidentally (?) I didn't have any anxiety issues until I was put on Wellbutrin; now I'm diagnosed with a major anxiety disorder and taking generic Klonopin (clonazepam) - a benzo to which my body is now addicted. From a lifetime of a variety of psych cocktails, beginning when I was first diagnosed with depression in my 30's, I've experienced a lot and researched a lot. Always ask your prescribing Dr. any questions/voice concerns re: meds but I highly recommend digging into research as well to see if it lines up with the info from your Dr. I discovered too late that my p-doc glossed over very serious effects of some drugs (especially Klonopin which is to be taken ONLY for 2 weeks at a time at most; he put me on an extremely high dose and left me there) and prescribing drugs was his "thing." Fortunately his P.A. took the dosage down and my current prescribing Dr. brought the other meds down and is supporting my body with supplements and dietary changes. Hope this helps.
  3. I've been on Wellbutrin for about 25 years and never heard about anti-inflammatory properties. Just did a search and these two articles are interesting: "Analgesic and anti-inflammatory activities of bupropion in animal models" - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4314873/ "Remission of Crohn's disease on bupropion" - https://www.gastrojournal.org/article/S0016-5085(01)70021-2/fulltext I have Hashimotos Hypothyroid which is an autoimmune illness and am still battling high antibodies. No idea if they'd be worse off Wellbutrin. Interesting topic.
  4. I've been on (with some periods of off) bupropion for approximately 20 years; have been on a variety of meds since I was diagnosed with Major Depression Recurrent/Rapid Cycling 27 years ago and Major Anxiety Disorder added years later. The first time I went on bupropion (300 mg of SR) I had the weirdest sensations - one was feeling like my brain was free-floating in my skull. Can't think of another way to describe it. When I turned my head it felt like it took a few seconds for my brain to "catch up." I can't recall how long I stayed on it but eventually asked to be taken off. I went maybe a year without it (I was always on some "cocktail" of SSRIs+whatever) then requested to try it again. The second time I went on it I had no side effects. I have read that it can cause anxiety and I do think I was diagnosed with the anxiety disorder around the time I went on bupropion the first time. I stayed on a combo of 300 mg bupropion SR, 100 mg Zoloft, and at one time 5 mg Klonopin (arrgghh!). I saw the same psychiatrist, then later his P.A.'s until a year ago when I began going to a medical practice that uses supplements instead of/or to support medications for Hashimotos Hypothyroid. My P.A. then prescribed the Klonopin (over the years in working with my psychiatrist's P.A. I was taken down to 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day as needed) but didn't know they would also prescribe the other meds. I had been feeling well for years so decided to stop taking the bupropion/Zoloft. HUGE MISTAKE. I began a downward spiral beginning in May 2018 and hit bottom/was barely functional in November. I managed to get myself to my current P.A. appointment in December, told her what was going on, and she put me back on the meds except trying 150 mg bupropion SR and I am stable with that amount. That's my personal "bupropion story" and every person reacts differently but perhaps something in my experience will help. Re: resting heart rate - mine has always been high so taking bupropion did not affect it. It has gone down since I've been seeing my current Dr./P.A. who use natural thyroid meds instead of the synthetic. If you haven't yet, do tell your prescribing Dr. about the side effects you're having.
  5. Hi Shirl...great that you talked to your Dr. I've been on Wellbutrin for at least 20 years and have had no issues with it; just wanted to calm any "new med jitters."
  6. Hi Katrinasurvivor (I have a 14 yo cat that was a Hurricane Katrina rescue. I adopted her at the Orlando Humane Society - now part of Pet Alliance - she was chipped, declawed, spayed, and obviously had always been well-cared for. A chipped cat wouldn't be adopted out unless the owners surrendered her. I've often wondered what happened to her owners. Anyway...), I understand the panic of not having medication that works. I've been on a combo of Wellbutrin/bupropion and Zoloft/sertraline for 15 years; I'd been on Zoloft with other combinations another 15. I didn't realize Mylan wasn't making bupropion any longer. Just checked my bottle and I have Solco. No side effects thus far. I'm sorry you're going through this. Update - I still had the Wellbutrin bottle from my previous Dr. which was filled June 2, 2018. The manufacturer for it was Cipla. Same pharmacy. Waned to add that name since I don't think it's one you've tried.
  7. @Vega57 - Read my post above. I am now convinced Wellbutrin is what caused my anxiety which led to my having to go on disability 14 years ago.
  8. Hi Kate and welcome! I really feel for you. My story: I was diagnosed with "Major Depression Recurrent-Rapid Cycling" over 30 years ago by a psychiatrist. I was initially put on a combo of two psych meds and was stabilized for many years, lived a normal life, etc. until they quit working, at which point one of the meds was switched out for Wellbutrin. It was one of the weirdest psych meds I'd ever taken and in over 30 years I've taken a lot of different meds. The main issue with the Wellbutrin was that it made my brain feel "detached" from my skull. There's no other way I can describe it. When I turned my head, even very slowly, it felt like it took a few seconds for my "free-floating" brain to catch up. There were some other issues but eventually they evened out and the depressive symptoms vanished. I considered Wellbutrin a wonder drug; however, within about six months I developed a new mental illness - severe anxiety and I mean SEVERE! My p-doc then added Klonopin, an anti-anxiety med to the mix and kept increasing it until I was on 5 (that's FIVE) mg!!! I was such an anxious mess at the time (including pacing the floors) that I didn't do my usual research and didn't find out until way down the road that Klonopin (or any of the benzos) is for SHORT TERM treatment only and "short term" is defined as "no more than two weeks." This guy put me on an astronomical dosage and...left me on it. Eventually I had to go on disability due to the extreme anxiety, even taking Klonopin. Another thing about Klonopin, it is EXTREMELY hard to wean off of - some research says it is harder to wean off than illegal drugs. So what does this have to do with Wellbutrin? Eventually my p-doc, whose staff/office had grown from just him, a counselor, and one office manager to multiple psychiatrists, P.A.s, therapists, behavioral specialists, and a large office staff with the customer service attitude of the Gestapo. My Dr. got into "medication trials" (probably very lucrative) and I saw one of his P.A.s. who was mortified at the amount of Klonopin I was on and began decreasing it. Unfortunately she left and the next P.A.had the same personality/empathy as the office staff. This practice had turned into a "pill factory" - 15 minute appointments, hand the patient the med scripts, "see you in three months." The cancellation policy changed as well (with no notice) as I discovered six months ago when I was ill the day of my appointment, called the office to reschedule my appointment, and was told I wouldn't be rescheduled until I'd paid for the missed one. (Over the years and many moves, I now lived 2 hours one way from the office.) WHOA! Previously they had a $50 charge if one didn't cancel within 48 hours so I figured I'd have to pay that. It was time for a refill on all my meds so I said I'd send the check but could the P.A. please call in at least a one-week supply of the Wellbutrin and Klonopin, both of which are extremely dangerous to go off cold turkey. Nope! I was FRANTIC and and told the Gestapo staff to make a note in my file that the P.A. was endangering my health and possibly my life. So, to pull this all together - I began digging for research into Wellbutrin to see if there was some supplement or anything I could do to get me through withdrawal. I had some of each med left, but not much and figured I'd have to go to the ER within the week. Here's what I found out that was a true "light bulb" moment for me - research indicated that the reason another anti-depressant is prescribed with Wellbutrin is because .... wait for it ... Wellbutrin causes anxiety! That explains why I "only" had depressive symptoms prior to Wellbutrin but "out of the blue" developed major anxiety - to the point that I eventually had to go on disability for the anxiety - after being put on it. I got back into a medical practice that specializes in thyroid disorders (I also have Hashimotos Hypothyroid - an autoimmune illness) that I'd gone to years ago and, thankfully, they are working with me to wean me off the Klonopin. I had some rough days going off Wellbutrin but got through it. I have a family history of mental illness and, due to that plus my own struggle with depression and (I'm now convinced) Wellbutrin-induced anxiety, I earned a Masters degree in Mental Health Counseling and was working in the field until I went on disability...from the anxiety. My point is that I am definitely NOT a "no meds" person but if I'd done the digging re: Wellbutrin I did recently, I never would have gone on it NOR Klonopin.
  9. Adding my recent experience after some background: I've seen the same pdoc for approximately 30 years. Back then it was just the pdoc, office manager, and one therapist. Now he has several more pdocs on staff, plus many P.A.'s, and therapists as well as being involved in medication "research" which is almost like another new business for him. Ten years ago I moved to another town one hour from my pdoc. I had just applied for disability so did not want to break the continuity of treatment at the time since this doctor had my entire case history. After my disability was approved I began trying to find a new pdoc. Mine said he didn't know anyone in my area, my family Dr. is a D.O. and doesn't prescribe the meds I'm on; I saw a therapist who was also a nurse and could prescribe two of my meds but not the "controlled substance" (Klonopin/clonazepam). Since I only saw my pdoc 4x/year (every 3 months), I decided to stay with him until I could find another Dr. Fast forward to the present - my pdoc farmed me out to one of his P.A.'s who doesn't take Medicare and uses his office manager as a shield when I've asked to speak to him, keeping in mind the length of time I've been seeing him. So I continued to drive 2 hours total for a 15 min. appointment to just get handed my three scripts: Wellbutrin, Zoloft, and Klonopin. The cost kept going up and is currently $135.00 for 15 min. I don't have the money so a family member has been paying for my appointments. The practice charges $50.00 if an appt. is not cancelled/rescheduled at least 48 hours in advance. Since I only go 4x/year this hasn't been an issue but there have been times I have been ill the morning of the appointment and had to cancel and pay the $50. Recent experience: My current appt. was for last Thursday at 11:15 a.m. I woke up ill and very shaky so I knew I wasn't up to driving two hours in heavy traffic. I cancelled my appt., said I understood I would owe the late cancellation fee and would call to reschedule. When I did so Friday morning I was hit with a new policy that I've never heard before...never have seen posted anywhere, etc. The policy is that if one has three late cancellations, they have to first pay the office visit amount BEFORE they will reschedule. Apparently the three cancellations can go back several years as this was the first one for this year and before that two years ago. I was dumbfounded!! I told the receptionist that I was an hour away and out of my meds, particularly Klonopin, and by the time I could get a check in the mail to them I would be going through Klonopin withdrawals and be very ill. Didn't matter. I then asked if my P.A. could call in a small supply of Klonopin so I could mail the check (which I'd have to get from my family member) THEN make the appointment and no telling how long of a wait that would be. The receptionist checked with my P.A. who said I couldn't make an appt. until I paid the $135.00. Ironically, at my last appointment I told my P.A. that if I'd know how addictive Klonopin was when the pdoc put me on it about 15 years ago I would have refused. She nodded and said since I'd been on it so long, it would take years to wean off. (I am prescribed 0.5 mg. - take 1 or 2 daily as needed) so she knows full well the dangers of stopping cold turkey. I told the receptionist to please document in my file that the P.A. was putting my health in danger. WOW!!! 30 years, always compliant on my meds (and this pdoc LOVES to prescribe meds - he had me on SEVEN psych meds at one point, a couple of them addressing the same issue; I had to be firm over the years to just get down to three) and now I'm thrown into withdrawal from Klonopin due to not calling 48 hours in advance! I know this has to be unethical behavior. I have no idea where to go now. Withdrawal symptoms are already setting in. We have walk-in clinics but I'm not sure what to say - my Dr. won't see me? Explaining the reason sounds like I'm making it up. There is a county mental health clinic in town that I had planned to check out but that will likely take at least a few days, if not more, to qualify and get an appointment. ARRGGGGGHHH!! Thank you to whoever read all this.
  10. My "cocktail" of meds is Bupropion (Wellbutrin) XL 300 mg; Sertraline (Zoloft) 100 mg; Clonazepam/Klonopin (.5 mg) and was diagnosed with Hashimotos Hypothyroidism (autoimmune disease) 30 years ago so I also take 175 mcg Synthroid daily. I've talked to my psychiatrist and various of his P.A.s as well as various doctors who have prescribed the Synthroid over the years and the common denominator is to take the meds at the same time daily. "First thing in the morning" is what doctors tell patients re: Synthroid because of the 1-hr. wait before eating and they're basing it on people who work a "normal" schedule. Not everyone works an 8-5 - some work 2nd and 3rd shifts and then there are people who are nocturnal (like my parents) so for them, "first thing in the morning" is around 4 pm. So, based on what I've been told, I choose a time that is convenient for me to take the Synthroid and then the other meds together at the same time. I was advised by one psychiatric P.A. to take the Zoloft right before bed as it would help with the morning terrors I was experiencing. My mother does that now and says it works really well for her. Back to Synthroid/Levothyroxine - for 30 years all my doctors have said, "It doesn't matter what time you take it, just make sure you take it at the same time daily and either 1 hr. before eating or approximately 4 hrs. after eating. Main thing is to take it on an empty stomach.
  11. Any time-release med, such as Bupropion/Wellbutrin XL should not even be cut in half, much less crushed, due to the med going into one's system slowly over time, which is what the XL means. If you took the crushed Bupropion at one time, you got the entire effect of the med immediately instead of how it was made to work.
  12. Isn't that a bizarre feeling? That's the best way I can describe it. I'm currently looking for a new pdoc closer to where I live and am going to ask them about taking Zoloft with Wellbutrin. I'd prefer to be on as few meds as possible.
  13. I've been taking the generic of Wellbutrin XL300 for at least 25 years. Never had a migraine. When I first began taking it I did have a very odd feeling in my head, like my brain was "free-floating." When I turned my head it felt like it took a few seconds for my brain to "catch up." Very hard to explain the sensation. I'm not sure how long I was on it the first time but I didn't like the weird sensation so my pdoc took me off. After trying a few other meds I said I'd be willing to try Wellbutrin again and that time I had no side effects at all. Are you on an SSRI as well? My pdoc said an SSRI was needed with Wellbutrin. Now I forget why. Since then I've asked two of his P.A.'s why it is necessary and now I can't recall their answers either but I think they said it boosted the Wellbutrin.
  14. I've been on generic Bupropion XL 300 mg for about 10 years. When I first went on it I had the strangest feeling in my head - like my brain was free-floating and if I turned my head it took a few seconds for my brain to catch up with it. Others indicated similar sensations. Finally went off of Bupropion and tried another "cocktail" but decided to give Bupropion another try later on and that time I didn't have any issues at all. Medications are strange animals.
  15. Hi Aramis :)

    Ok, I'm confused...errrr what does "knufel" mean?

  16. Hi, Guys! I think it's time for me to bow out of this thread. One reason is the information I provided on Klonopin is not *my* idea, but what I have gleaned from a multitude of professional sources plus my personal experience. Somehow this has been misconstrued that it is just me talking out of my hat. Taken in small amounts the way Bud is is one thing - my pdoc dumping a med on me that will likely take a good year to slowly wean off of is another. I agree if a med is helping that's one thing, but for me Klonopin isn't helping me get out into the world again and become a "normal" person. The ONLY thing it has done is cut down on the "morning terrors" I referred to previously. I still experience anxiety on a daily basis. So, I am feeling a little "ganged up" at present. (And being referred to in third person on Bud's latest post, further engendering the feeling of two guys talking around me.) I'll leave you guys to well, "guy talk." I'm in a very fragile place right now where men/dating/etc. is concerned and it's hard to know one of you is happily married and the other actively dating when I have been alone so long. And, if either of you knew the situation within my marriage of 18 years, your jaws would drop to the floor. Please know I'm not angry and have valued this discussion greatly and thank all of you who participated and the encouragement you provided. I'll always cherish that. One thing I have learned in my journey of living with depression is that one needs to protect themselves from things that are potentially hurtful. I wish you all - Kirby, Bud, FightingtheDog, Aramis - most well and trust we will all keep fighting the good fight to wellness. Teril
  17. Hi again Bud! I'm sorry you're going through a down time...it's my turn to be supportive. I heard a saying the other day, not sure if I posted it on this thread already but it was: Everyone is either getting ready to go into "stuff", is in stuff or coming out of stuff." That sounds pretty accurate. I also saw another one that said, "Be kind. Everyone is going through something. So all those people that seem like they have it all together are generally putting on their "game face" in public. I do need to clarify - I never took Klonopin to escape into sleep as it doesn't have that "immediate" effect. What I took in the past to escape was either Xanax or Restoril. It's true that different meds can affect people so differently. I recall you saying you had a tough time with the SSRIs. The only two I have taken were Prozac for a very short time and then Zoloft since 1992. I mentioned previously that many people report becoming extremely nauseous on Depakote and that's the other med I've taken since 1992 with no ill effect whatsoever. At least treatment for mental illness has progressed beyond locking people up in state hospitals and/or electroshock treatment. (As an aside, if you've never seen the movie "The Snake Pit," I highly recommend it. It is an old black and white movie and introduces "talk therapy" when that was generally considered useless. Olivia de havilland who played Melanie in "Gone With the Wind" stars in it.) Here's to us all having a good...or at least decent....weekend. And YES!!! Thank you to our moderator for allowing us to continue supporting each other in this thread. Winding down to head off to Teril
  18. Just thought of something else...besides the addictive/weaning off concerns with Klonopin, the other thing my pdoc told me as a possible effect of long-term usage there could be "fuzziness" of thoughts and memory. Ack! (Couldn't find an edit ability to my prior post...sorry about another one.) T.
  19. Hi Bud! It doesn't seem trite at all for you to say you're here for me. We're all here for each other and it is a relief to be able to discuss these issues with people who really *know* what we deal with. And thank you for the quick response. There was an interesting twist to this when I worked with Hospice. Many people who had terminal cancer and were in excruciating pain begged their doctors for pain meds but were told BY THE DOCTORS that they would not prescribe the med (usually some form of oxycontin) because it was ADDICTIVE. (caps just for emphasis) Now these were people who were dying and just wanted some comfort and cessation of the pain so in this case the possibility of addiction was truly a non-issue and infuriated those of us in Hospice care. (Note: these were patients who were still working with their doctors prior to going to Hospice.) Since Hospice is for those people who do not want to continue to treat the illness but rather live the rest of their lives as comfortable and pain-free as possible, these same patients *were* put on pain meds under Hospice care. The exact term for the type of medication treatment used by Hospice is "palliative care." I sat in workshops to understand how this all worked. I used this example to illustrate that it is interesting that many doctors refuse pain meds to their dying cancer patients by saying the patient would become addicted, but here we are talking about psychiatrists who knowingly prescribe addictive drugs to patients who just need a med/s to help stabilize the brain chemicals that are thought to cause depression and other mental illnesses! There is most definitely a difference between most anti-depressants and the benzos. There is a common misconception in the general population about anti-depressants and probably why some people who could benefit from anti-depressants are afraid to take them. I've heard comments like "I don't want to have my personality changed or feel sedated all the time." Anti-depressants are not sedatives or habit-forming. When working well, the person really doesn't "feel" anything other than not being depressed and is able to function again. This was my experience during the 15 years prior to my breakdown. I took my 2 meds daily and it was just a part of my routine. There is no craving for these drugs because there is no immediate gratification - the drugs just correct the chemical imbalance within the brain - much like insulin keeps blood sugar steady for diabetics or heart meds keep the heart pumping as it should. Apparently, there are some cases when a person just needs a short course of anti-depressants. Post-partum depression may be a good example. Within the DSM-IV (there may be a newer version out now, but this is the version I have from grad. school) - the manual that contains the criterion used to diagnose mental illnesses - there are sooooo many variations of depression that it makes my eyes glaze over. Some people apparently have "minor" (my terminology) depressions that maybe 6 months or so of anti-depressants somehow gets their brain chemicals back functioning correctly and they don't need to be on them long-term. In my case, I was first diagnosed with "Major Depression, Recurrent, Rapid-Cycling." Just the name of that dx alone says I will pretty much be on some anti-depressant for life. (Unless I find a natural alternative and believe me I will be seeking it.) I'm not sure what the main thinking of mental health professionals is currently on this topic, but when I first began Zoloft, the SSRI class of meds was very new and considered a tremendous improvement over its predecessors, the MAOI's and tricylcics; both had hideous side effects. I was told by both my therapist and pdoc that they (the early SSRIs) could be stopped cold turkey. NOTE: I AM DEFINITELY NOT ADVISING THIS! I, in fact, did that under my Dr's care several times when one med wasn't working and he switched me to another. Actually in those cases one med was just substituted for another with no time in between; however, the first med I was prescribed before I was referred to my pdoc was Prozac. After about 6 weeks the depression was not lifting so my therapist told me to stop it and I had no ill effects at all. It could have been I was on it a short time or was on a low dose, but I have never been concerned with ill effects from stopping the early SSRI's. However, Effexor sounds like a whole other story. I have never been on that one but my mother was on it for awhile and after experiencing bad side effects, she weaned herself off of it with the aid of a book written expressly for that med, following the directions explicitly. By comparison, many benzos, particularly Xanax, are fast acting and one can actually "feel" the sedative effects almost immediately which is likely why they are often sold as street drugs. Another benzo is Halcion. When I have major dental work done, my dentist prescribes two Halcion tablets (and ONLY two) which I take an hour before the appointment. My mother drives me to the dentist and I am practically asleep before I arrive. Many dentists advertise "sedation dentistry" and that's how it is done. Restoril, a sleeping aid, is another benzo. I will admit that during times I have been prescribed Xanax and/or Restoril, I used them more than prescribed mainly to "escape" the unhappiness depression caused me and "copped out" by just sleeping. However, my pdoc only prescribed small amounts of either of those, so I didn't get addicted long-term. I am just now researching Klonopin due to my personal situation with it. The first red flag I saw when I began researching was reading *everywhere* I looked that (paraphrased) "If prescribed for the treatment of anxiety, it should be used no longer than four weeks." Then I found a website online by a British Dr. who appears to have dedicated much of her professional life to the proper use of Klonopin and how to wean off safely. After more research and my own experience, the difference between Klonopin and other psych meds, speaking here particularly of anti-depressants, is the withdrawal issues. As I said in my previous post, I was watching an episode of "Nancy Grace" on TV the other night (there are currently several instances of small children going missing in my state which have gained national attention and where drug usage on the part of the parents is involved) and heard a Dr. say that drugs like hydrocodone will leave a person's system in several days and then withdrawal symptoms occur which are "unpleasant" but not dangerous like the benzos where sudden withdrawal can cause convulsions. That in a nutshell is, in my opinion, the HUGE difference between taking an anti-depressant daily and a benzo like Klonopin long term. You asked if I craved Klonopin. I don't and probably the reason is that, unlike Xanax, I don't "feel" it working. It is more like an anti-depressant in that respect; it seems to have to build up a bit before it works and, except for not having the "morning terrors" when I take it, I really don't "feel" it in my system at all. Drugs that are craved apparently have instant gratification or some "feel good" effect. (Having never done illegal drugs, smoked, or drank alcohol to excess, my only personal comparison is Xanax.) Nicotine apparently has that "craving" effect and when a person then smokes, they become relaxed. That is why it is so puzzling to me that Klonopin has such a dangerous withdrawal effect and why I'm mad as all get-out I wasn't told about this by my pdoc. I don't know this for a fact, but due to its classification, I would warrant that over time, a person would need more Klonopin to get the same result. For example, in the future the amount of Klonopin I currently take may not help with the "morning terrors" and more would be needed for that. Given the amount of time I was off the Klonopin (about 2 1/2 weeks) I was *very* fortunate I did not experience anything worse than feeling awful, becoming extremely aggressive, anxious, and crying. I lost my temper at the drop of a hat. A day or so before I had my pdoc appointment, I was experiencing "the shakes." I attribute the reason I *didn't* go into convulsions to my also taking Depakote, which was originally manufactured for seizure disorders and was later found to be an excellent cross-over psych drug for some types of Bi-polar disorder. In my case it was prescribed due to my rapid-cycling depression. I know I'm sounding a bit "professorial" - but just trying to explain to the fullest extent of my knowledge and experience why taking an anti-depressant for life and Klonopin for life are two completely different things. Let's say, God forbid, a hurricane swept through here and I didn't have enough meds on hand until it was possible to get refills for whatever reason. With "most" anti-depressants, or at least the ones I've taken, going off cold turkey may be uncomfortable and depressive symptoms might return, but going cold turkey off Klonopin, again, at especially the level I was prescribed, could cause serious issues, including convulsions. At least I have taken the first step toward lessening the amount of this drug I am taking now. Concerning my pdoc: He is the only psychiatrist I have seen since he was referred to me by my therapist in 1992 so I have no method of comparison. I have watched his practice grow over the years from just him, to him and a therapist to his present practice of four or five psychiatrists on staff and a multitude of therapists. His office is always packed and he has an excellent reputation or I doubt he would have lasted this long. As my pharmaceutical sales rep. friend said long ago, he is a real gentleman and not arrogant and egotistical as most pdocs she calls on are. So I always felt that I was getting excellent care. I was going through grad. school during the time I've seen him and many times after the "medication management" part of my appointment was finished, he and I used to "talk shop." When I have a lot of issues I need to address with him in a short amount of time, I type it all out as an outline at home so I don't forget anything when I see him and just hand it to him as it takes less time for him to read that than me trying to explain several situations. He has said many times things such as "If you are this organized when ill, I can't imagine the things you could accomplish when well" and another time he said, "I wish you were my personal assistant," so I know he is aware of my intelligence, potential, and education. That is why this whole Klonopin thing further confuses me. During the time I was so very ill four years ago, my mother many times had to drive me to the appointment and my pdoc asked her in to the session to give her impression of how I was doing when I was too ill to really know. She and I have talked recently that he seems a bit different lately and conjecture that either he is so extremely busy now than when I first started seeing him that he is falling into the "prescribe and move on to the next patient" routine or that he may very well be getting ready to retire and earn income from owning the practice and not "on his full game" so to speak. I cannot at all fault him for the 15 years in which he initially diagnosed my illness and worked with me to find the meds that kept me stable for so long. At one point during the past four years I said something about being on so many meds and he replied that he was working hard to keep me out of the hospital. Now the three assistants he's had that I've dealt with over the years...they're another story, but then I have to remember that they are also under pressure from the Dr., having to deal with insurance companies (when I worked at a hospital psychiatric crisis line during school, one of my duties was to verify patient insurance and know how maddening that can be), and although we on this thread are among the group of psych patients who are compliant with our meds, etc. I bet there are many others who try every trick in the book to get more meds or something so perhaps they have to be tough. I just wish they could distinguish the patients who don't warrant the "gestapo" treatment. My goal now is to find a good therapist and then a local pdoc. It is definitely time for a change, even if I had not moved over an hour away from my current one. If you've read all this...you have my admiration and gratitude. I hope you are doing well and you know where to come for caring support when you want or need to. Hi Kirby!! and anyone else who may be reading this! Most gratefully and sincerely, Teril
  20. Hi, Kirby & Bud! I'm having a down couple of days so just jotting a note here re: the Klonopin and then will write more, hopefully tomorrow. Bud, the way your Dr. prescribed Klonopin sounds very responsible and it's just for sleep. In my case, about a year ago I recognized within myself that even when the depression is at bay, I am still very anxious, to the point of paralyzing me from doing anything, sometimes as simple as making a phone call that provokes anxiety - say re: a past-due bill or something. I also have experienced "morning terrors" for years - when I wake up my body is literally shaking like I just heard the worse news possible. That was the cause of me calling in sick a lot when I worked. I truly think a lot of what seemed like depression was actually an anxiety disorder that then spiraled into depression. At any rate I shared this with my pdoc and asked if I could have a prescription for Xanax or Ativan; just enough so when I encountered an anxiety-provoking situation, I would have those to calm me. (The main difference between the two is that Xanax is faster acting but stops working faster; Ativan takes longer to kick in but maintains the anti-anxiety effect longer.) Instead, my pdoc prescribed Klonopin - 1 mg to be taken morning and evening for a total of 2 mg/day. I honestly didn't know as much about Klonopin then except that I had heard a lot of people on it from another forum I was on several years ago. I'm usually so very careful about meds, I'm kicking myself for not researching Klonopin before taking it. My impression from the pdoc was that Xanax & Ativan can only be taken for short periods but Klonopin can be a daily med. The Klonopin *has* kept the morning terrors away and I suppose I am "generally" less anxious, but it doesn't help when I have those specific anxiety triggers. So, next visit to pdoc after the Klonopin was first prescribed, I told him that and asked if I could have a small amount of Xanax for those occasions. (I have since read that mixing the two can be lethal!) Instead he prescribed 10 additional 1 mg Klonopin tablets (making 70/month) and said when I felt especially anxious to take another Klonopin. He didn't say anything about the limit per day, etc. I did as directed and the extra Klonopin didn't help with the trigger anxiety at all, so I often took another. I was taking 3-4 mg/day often during a month's time, with no earthly idea that withdrawal from them is worse than hydrocodone or other street drugs. (Heard that the other night by a Dr. on the Nancy Grace show and my heart just dropped.) After telling my pdoc my concerns at the last appointment, he left off the 10 additional pills and said since I had been off of Klonopin awhile that 2 mg/day would work really well, then said even 1.5 mg would as well. So, that is what I am currently taking now: .5 mg in the morning and 1 mg at night. I can't wait until I find a pdoc in this area who will work with me to wean off safely. As a side note...since I have been single again so long, it seems "normal." But, especially being on all these meds, I am concerned about being alone if something would happen. I plan on looking into getting one of those alert systems that are worn on the wrist or around the neck when I'm at home. On the romantic side, I'm not sure I could be married again - I like my own space. But I do miss going out on a date, being held, especially when I'm so scared. Being alone just magnifies my fears out of proportion. I guess that's why I enjoyed my relationship with the guy online...but I know that will need to stop. OH...a thought just came to mind...I wonder if there's a Klonopin area on this forum. If so, I may head over there to get an idea of how Klonopin has been used/prescribed for others. I don't want to be on such an addictive med. There just has to be something else that would combat my anxiety. Will write more later.... Teril
  21. Me again Hope we haven't scared off everyone else...lol. I know my parents have Omega Three Fish Oil in the house. They are a walking compendium of natural medications/supplements, etc. I am convinced a great part of my father being diagnosed with stage IV throat cancer and now, 2 1/2 years later being cancer free, is largely due to the various natural supplements he took. Also, due to researching and taking different things to build his immunity over the years, he went into that ordeal very healthy to begin with. He is amazing...77 years old and looks younger than many 50 year olds I see. He walks about 2 miles/day and keeps a regular routine for each day. Anyway, back to Omega 3: I take it as well after reading on another forum long ago that it has been proven beneficial for depression as well. I'm not familiar with Red Yeast Rice but will definitely tell my mother. Thanks!! Having a Dr. with whom one has a good relationship is sooo important. That is why I haven't changed my various medical professionals over the past 20 years or so unless they retire, etc. I love my dentist!!! I was one of his first patients when he first began practice and we've basically "grown up" together. It's also a long trip to see him now that I've moved and I don't have dental insurance anymore so I guess I need to find a dentist in this town. *sighs* I get along well with my pdoc, but now that I have come to a new direction I personally choose to follow in my psych treatment, it is time to find a new pdoc. I see the Physician's Assistant at my family dr. and really like her. The Dr. there is a D.O. My mother went to a D.O. all the time she was pregnant with me, then during my childhood. I have seen D.O.'s on and off through the years. I am going to this Dr. because when I was on Medicaid alone, he was the only Dr. who accepted medicaid. One of the things I do like about D.O.s is that they don't automatically prescribe pills for everything. I had shingles four years ago. If you've never had it...count your blessings. It is soooo painful. And it's a different kind of pain due to affecting the nerves. To me, it felt like someone was putting cigarettes out on my skin. Anyway, shingles (like chicken pox) are supposed to eventually open, letting the clear fluid in them drain, then the scabs dry up and fall off. The pattern the shingles took in my case were from my right side up my back. The skin lesions didn't dry up and fall off, but just seemed to sink back into my body, leaving flat red spots where the shingles had been...very odd. I was seeing an M.D. at the time and asked him about it. He said I would likely need to be on Valtrex the rest of my life. (Valtrex being a very heavy-duty antibiotic.) Not knowing what I do now about antibiotics, I took it for awhile, but the spots on my back never went away. At the first visit 1 1/2 years ago at my D.O.'s office, I showed the P.A. my back. She prescribed some ointment and withing a week the spots were gone!!! It's time I return to the D.O. to have a yearly blood test for my hypoglycemia to see if meds need to be adjusted for that and a yearly check up. Weather here is back and forth...but that's how winters are in FL. We can get some really cold days, then it can shoot back up into the 70's. The last few days it rained steadily and today was overcast but a wonderfully refreshing 60ish degrees. I need to enjoy this time before summer begins and I go into hibernation from the sun...lol. As for planting...I have a black thumb. In the past, people gave plants to me that they said I couldn't **** because they barely needed anything. Yep...they died. I can **** cactus plants. So, plant something for me, please. :) Onwards and upwards, Teril
  22. Of course we're still friends, and good ones I appreciate your clarifying what you meant in your post. Without facial expressions and voice inflections, text alone can often be misinterpreted. From what I understand, that's one reason "emoticons" came to be. I agree with you 100% about the ill effects many drugs can have and, again, I think some doctors are very irresponsible in their prescribing, especially without any side effect warnings. This is probably due to how little time a doctor can see a patient due to insurance constraints, etc. I'm not wording this just right, but I saw a focus group of doctors commenting on the proposed health bill and one of them said something along those lines. I can tell that even when I see my family Dr.; it's like she has one foot out the door to see the next patient before she's even finished my exam. Totally agree it is our responsibility to take charge of our own care and do what you, me, Bud, and Fighting do...ask, research, etc. But many people, like my mother's family don't do that stemming back to generations of "They're a Dr., they know what's best." My mother's cholesterol is higher than it should be, and this with her being a vegetarian!!!! I've read that some people's cholesterol is genetically higher than the norm. In her case diet isn't going to help because she's already eating an extremely low-fat/cholesterol diet. Her Dr. recommended daily walking (she now has a treadmill) and a statin medication. After she had been on the statin about a week, her entire body had what looked like bruises all over it. Very scary looking. My mother went back to the Dr., who was out of the office as it was during a holiday season. The nurse practitioner or whoever was there just asked, "Do you want to try another statin?" My mother gave a resounding "NO" and has been researching natural means to deal with the cholesterol. You're so right about many/most nursing homes, especially those where patients have no one to check in and/or advocate for them are basically "warehoused." I also find it despicable, having seen that situation a lot when I worked with Hospice. My grandfather was very fortunate in that regard. My uncle (Mother's brother) spearheaded having this home built within a mile or so from my grandparents' home and serves on the board. In this small town of 350 people, everyone knows everyone in that town; the nurses and aides knew my grandparents from childhood up. As nursing homes go, it is a lovely one and the best care he could get was there. My grandmother, 3 sons, and a slew of grandchildren and great-grandchildren visited him regularly...someone was there daily. BUT!!!! They are the "don't question the Dr." types so it was my Mother who had to take charge of that situation. So, absolutely the "trust but verify" is extremely important. I sit down at the pharmacy before I leave and check to make sure the refill I received was for the one I asked for (I've received the wrong one a couple times) and in the correct dosage amount. If it's a med I've been on for awhile, I actually open the bottle to make sure it looks right. If it's a new med or I have any doubt, I go to the online Pill Identification Wizard and check it there before taking it. At the time I wrote my initial post, I was so shaken by how drastic the withdrawal from Klonopin was but any of those meds have dangers going off cold turkey. I am even more motivated to lower them or wean off as much as possible. Your Friend, Teril
  23. Hi again, Kirby! What I am at issue with is pdocs (at least mine) prescribing strong meds, especially in the dosages he did, without telling me FIRST what possible repercussions it could have instead of me having to ask him later. Many people who visit pdocs aren't thinking about that at the time of their visit; they just want to feel better. Also, a lot of people (my mother's family falls into this category) trust their doctors (of whatever ilk - family Dr., cardiologist, surgeons, etc.) implicitly and never question them or prescribed drugs and half the time don't even know the drug's name. My grandmother used to say, "The Dr. told me to take this little white pill once a day and I would feel fine." When my grandfather (also on my mother's side) was in a nursing home with "Alzheimer's Type Dementia" (the exact dx given), my mother always went over his meds when she visited and initially found the doses to be huge. The nursing staff told my mother over the phone that all my grandfather did was sleep and wasn't able to walk. Once my mother arrived (her family is in KY, she is in FL - she spent about 10 months of one year flying back and forth to KY) and she checked his meds, no wonder he was sleeping all the time. Not only was he getting extremely large doses of a med, he was on *another* med that did the same thing. She immediately told them she wanted the second med stopped and the first one lowered. Of course the Dr. had to be called. During the ten years my mother dealt with this issue, the Dr. never came to the nursing home but just talked via phone. Once the meds were cut down, my grandfather became alert and my mother had him up walking. (Except for my me and my Mother, all the rest of the family lives in the same town, but they (a) don't know enough about meds to question them and (b) wouldn't do so anyway out of a "Dr. knows best" attitude. From that time on, Mother had it put in his charts that prior to any med change or increase she be called so she could research it and discuss it with the Dr. first. Having done that, my grandfather lived to 91, alert until the end. I wasn't indicating he couldn't. I believe you are misreading a bit into my post. Bud had just posted he knew there was an issue with klonopin but it was helping him sleep. I was in no way saying he shouldn't take it for sleep as needed (and have no right to do so anyway), but was agreeing with his comment about klonopin becoming addictive. I was taking the medication as prescribed by my Dr. who now admits I can become dependent on it. Again, my big issue is that Dr's should tell people this BEFORE they prescribe the med...any med...and give the patient the choice to weigh the pros and cons. Perhaps younger pdocs do this; my pdoc is more "old school" and never told me possible side effects or long term issues with drugs he prescribed for me. I was the one who came home and researched them and often asked for a lesser dosage. I'm not sure what the "legislating behavior" comment was about. I was recounting the mishaps between my pdoc and pharmacist which left me in the middle needing to be on my meds but no way to get them until I saw my pdoc in person and got it straightened out.
  24. Hi, guys!! OHHHhh, yes!! I'm here to tell you that clonazepam (Klonopin) is VERY addictive and this week's installment of "Tales by Teril" will include my personal experience. I've written over the past couple of weeks about the difficulty I was having trying to get my meds refilled and the pharmacy saying they contacted my pdoc's office approximately 4 times without a response. Even if the answer to a med refill is no, pdoc always answers, so I knew something was wrong. That's when I called his office and spoke to his assistant. Talking to her increases my anxiety level as she is akin to the Gestapo. She checked with pdoc and said he would not refill meds since I had not been in for a "long time," which amounted to a month and a half past the scheduled appointment that my Dr. canceled. This was during the holidays when I was in a major funk and the prospect of rescheduling the appointment and getting myself together and driving a long distance seemed impossible. So, when we last tuned in, I had been out of WB and clonazepam for about 2-3 weeks, I knew that it was dangerous to be off especially clonazepam that long and essentially "cold turkey." I had been on a high dosage of 2 mg clonazepam/day and some days 3 mg per pdoc's directions. I also knew that my Dr. knew how dangerous this was to run out of this med and was confused as to why he didn't prescribe at least enough meds to get me through until I saw him (yesterday). I never took any illegal drugs, but I was feeling the way I have heard drug addicts describe going "cold turkey" off illegal drug or illegal drug. Over the last few days I was having the shakes, chills, and was totally "unstrung." It was like I had lost complete control over my reactions, had become extremely angry/aggressive, crying uncontrollably and, in short, literally "flipping out." I "mentally" knew I was going through a fairly severe withdrawal but it was as if another person who knew these things was standing apart watching, helpless to change anything. Which brings us to pdoc appointment yesterday - a 3 hour round trip involved: 1. Having decided that I wish to go off my meds safely or at the VERY least be on the lowest strength possible and also knowing that my pdoc would likely not agree with this plan, my goal was just to get prescriptions refilled and go from there. 2. Pdoc asked how I was doing. I said "Some good days, some bad, but having been on meds for the last 17-18 years and, especially so many over the last 4 years, I have come to realize I don't need another med or an increase in ones I already take, but to do what you told me to do about a year ago - begin my "rehabilitation phase." Have a daily plan; take walks, get exercise, become more involved socially, etc." Pdoc agreed with this and we had a conversation on how helpful I could be with my background in volunteer work. 3. Next came the "roll call" of my meds. WB was up first. I said I had been off the med for close to three weeks and my pharmacy had faxed requests for refills multiple times, did not receive an answer, which was when I called his assistant and was told you would not refill them until my next office visit. pdoc became quite irritated and said he *had* received the fax and HAD approved a refill of WB. He even showed the pharmacy request and his response for 1 refill that was in my file. I was totally baffled. What had happened?? I really like this particular pharmacy and the person who was working with me on this seemed to really be trying hard for me. My pdoc seems to have the attitude that everyone is wrong but him. His precise words were, "Never take your pharmacist's word over mine! You know I would always respond to a fax, even if the answer was no I would say declined with a note "Have patient call me," then went on a diatribe about the employees in the pharmacy being "minimum wage employees," etc. which I didn't think was called for. He gave the documentation of his response to the pharmacy fax to me saying, "Show THIS to your pharmacy." So, with him thinking I *had* received the requested refill, I can now understand his refusal when I called in to request the same med several days later. The mystery remained - what happened to the fax when it arrived at the pharmacy?? 4. Back to WB itself: To my chagrin, pdoc increased the dosage to 400 mg. Prior to this I told him I honestly couldn't tell much difference between the 150 and 300 mg. Each had their initial "honeymoon phase" then I was back to square one. However, he prescribed the increased dose as WB 200 mg SR, said to take two a day, BUT, if I felt ok, I could take one a day. I felt like I'd won a small concession there. 5. Next up: Zoloft. That is one of the two meds I've taken forever. When I initially went on WB, 50 mg (a very low dose) of Zoloft was added. For some reason it seems common protocol for another anti-depressant to be added to WB. pdoc said, "How about your Zoloft?" I thought he meant how is it working for me and responded that I really couldn't tell that it was doing anything one way or the other since it was taken with WB. I apparently misunderstood his question because he got a bit "irritated" again and said, "I don't think you realize how much worse you could get." ummmmm...HUH??? He continued, "When meds don't work at a certain level, people will say, "They're not working" and go off of them." He knows me well enough to know I'm not one of those "people." I said I thought his question was, "How is it working, and was responding to that." He said he was asking, "Are you taking your Zoloft?" The answer was yes, thus Zoloft was left at the same (low) dose and we moved on. 6. **The biggie - Clonazepam/Klonopin. After the runaround I got trying to get a refill of WB before my next appointment, I didn't bother asking for a refill of clonazepam, a controlled substance, and was just trying to hang on until my appointment to get a refill. When I told pdoc I'd been off that one for a couple of weeks as well, he was very concerned. Prior to the appointment I did some more research on clonazepam. No matter what source I consulted, from the manufacturer's website, to psych drug sites, etc. the common theme was, clonazepam should NOT be prescribed for more than 4 weeks steadily. I have been on this for approximately 6 months at a high level. I didn't say this to my pdoc as he doesn't like to be confronted and I was experiencing withdrawals to the point I didn't want to argue...just get the med and pursue steps to taper off safely with another Dr. I *did* ask if there was any danger in staying on this med long-term (knowing full-well there is, but I wanted to hear his answer). He said, "Well, of course the addiction and memory issues - mind being dulled." !!!!!!!!!!!! HOW can Dr's ethically prescribe these extremely potent drugs without informing their patients ahead of time of its risks and possible long-term negative effects on mental *and* physical health??? However, another upside - he had previously prescribed 1 mg clonazepam to be taken 2X day (morning & night) plus added 10 additional pills to this script for my times of "break-through" anxiety. Yesterday he said since I'd been off of the med awhile, that just the 2/day or even 1 1/2/day would work very well. I am going to go the 1 1/2 mg. route which again is a step toward tapering off from what I had been on. So, Bud, there is a DEFINITE concern with addiction with this drug. In my recent research I found a woman in England whose main writings/education are how to wean off clonazepam safely, along with entire books on the subject. Of course I was on much higher dosages for quite awhile. If you are taking a benzo just for sleep, you might want to ask your Dr. about a sleeping pill instead, such as Ambien (Zolpidem) or Restoril (Temazepam). Ambien is listed as a "Miscellaneous sedative" and Restoril is a Benzo. However, they are generally prescribed to be taken no more than 3 nights consecutively, then wait at least a week before taking again. From my past experience, if I took them any other way, by the fourth night they didn't work anyway. Another idea would be Xanax (Alprazolam) or Ativan (Lorazepam). Again, both in the Benzo group, but normally prescribed for short term use for intermittent anxiety or temporary sleep issues. One of those two is what I initially asked for when I said that anxiety had become more of an issue with me now than depression but instead I was put on high levels of clonazepam. 7. The fourth med I'm on (Depakote ER) is one of the two I've been on since 1992 with no ill effects. While I personally plan to work on getting that dosage lowered over time, it is not a major issue for me so that one was refilled with no conversation between us. ~ ~ ~ One would think that, with prescriptions in hand, I was set. I *did* want to speak to the pharmacy manager to bring to their attention the fact that their faxes had received responses from my pdoc while I was being told that they had received no response. That had set me back at least a week from getting back on WB and, if something had slipped through the crack on their end, I'm sure I was not an isolated case. I was too wiped out to do that yesterday, however, and as the day wore on, including the long drive to and from my pdoc, the withdrawal symptoms ever-worsening, my goal was to get my system re-stabilized. I planned to drop the scripts off, have dinner with my Mother (who had come with me to the appointment to be company on the ride down, and probably concerned knowing I was going through withdrawals) and pick them up in an hour. A pharmacist or tech I had never seen before said they were really backed up on refills and it would take them at least two hours to fill. I said that I hadn't really wanted to bring this up today, but that I'd been out of this med a long time, they kept telling me my pdoc had not responded, but I now had proof he *had* responded so somehow something was messed up on their end and I REALLY needed the meds soon. At that point another woman came over, looked at their computer and said, much to my astonishment, "That med was definitely received and refilled," (as she indicated the computer screen to the other lady). I said I had checked in with them regularly over a two-week period and kept being told (by one specific employee) that they had not. The second woman kept looking at the computer then said, "Ohhhhhh, I see what happened! You have two profiles with us." (I went to another branch of this pharmacy when I lived in the city where my pdoc is, but had not used that pharmacy for at least 5-6 years). Apparently whoever got the faxed script noted it was filled on one profile, but the person checking if it had been filled looked at the other profile. The second woman said my profile should have been merged and she would do that immediately. Everyone began profusely apologizing and said they would make sure to have the meds filled within an hour. ~ ~ ~ Mystery now solved at pdoc's office and pharmacy. All should be well...right? BZZZZZzzzztttt.... This had now become the "Great WB Escapade." After a wonderful dinner, I returned for my meds; BUT!!!! pharmacist said that the script was for regular WB 200 mg and it did not come in 200 mg. tablets. I said I was supposed to take the SR. She then showed me the script and pdoc had neglected to add the "SR." /me bangs head repeatedly on desk ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, now I had to call the much-feared pdoc assistant AGAIN to relay this info and get the correct med called in. Anxiety shot through the roof. I did call her about two hours ago. When I identified myself she said, "Hold on," and once again the dulcet tones of elevator music filled my ears as I watched long distance dollars click by. When she returned she said, "Your prescription for WB SR 200 mg to be taken 2x/day should be ready at your pharmacy." I asked how she knew that needed to be corrected as this was my call to do so. She said the pharmacy called their office and they made the corrections. (Not an apology for pdoc's error, of course. I did find it ironic about how he was railed on about pharmacies and then made a mistake himself.) After getting off the phone with assistant, I called pharmacy to verify and thanked them profusely for taking it upon themselves to contact pdoc's office. They didn't have to do that as it was an error on Dr's part. So, heading out now to get that script and for now....this entire episode is OVER!!!! Now to move forward with my plan. ~ ~ ~ Oh, and the weather here is my idea of "perfect!" Currently 63 degrees, sunny, low of 42 overnight.
  25. Sorry to hear you had such a bad night, Darly. No fun at all. Glad to hear you're feeling better now though. Glad to provide any info that I've gathered through my experience. :) However, it is just what I experienced; your experience could be entirely different and different from the next person, etc. For example, I've seen many, many posts by people who say that one of the meds I've been on for 17 years (not WB) makes them violently ill. More people (at least on forums) report that as a side effect than not; however, I have never had any problem with it whatsoever. As for staying on the med or not, that is a discussion between you and your Dr. One thing I do recommend is to become as knowledgeable about one's meds as possible. Reading and sharing on these forums is a great start; internet research; ask your Dr. any and all questions you have (since I just have 15 minutes when I see my Dr., I think about what I most want to ask or report before I go, then write those points down to take with me so I don't forget them), etc. Most psych meds take approximately 4-6 weeks before a person can tell if they're working or not. There is an interesting point about WB, though. Meds fall into categories. SSRI is a category for instance. WB is different in that it's kind of its own special category and, from my experience and what I've read from others, it seems to begin to work a bit faster. As far as what it feels like to be on an antidepressant, for me, when they work, I feel like my "normal" self - not the lethargic, constantly crying person I become when in a depressive episode. For the majority of my time...which has been fairly lengthy...on psych meds, they became a daily part of my routine: eat breakfast, take my vitamins, take my meds, go to work, etc. They are not meant to change one's personality. I want to keep adding the caveat, though, that I am speaking totally from my experience. :) I remember how overwhelming all this was for me when I first went on antidepressants. Just keep a good communication going with your Dr. and ask, ask, ask questions.
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