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Moody Blues

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Blog Entries posted by Moody Blues

  1. Moody Blues
    Since I started CBT I continue to feel a bit better, everyday.
    Therapy has taught me so much about myself and why I have irrational thoughts. To be honest I thought it was a bunch of BS, prior to starting it. I'm so happy I gave it a chance.
    I'm actually having more and more good days and so relieved I'm starting to enjoy life again.. But I still have a fear of relapsing into the horrible abyss of panic/anxiety.
    OK, I need to stop the negative thinking and enjoy the peace I have now.
  2. Moody Blues
    Therapy has be going very well and I'm starting to feel better. There's so many underlying feelings that I have to face. Little by little we've been addressing the demons that lurk inside my mind.
    It's painful to bring negative feelings to the surface, because now I have to deal with them.
    My therapist is great and gives me the confidence that we can fight this battle together.
  3. Moody Blues
    Another good therapy session, my negative feelings are being brought to the surface and I'm facing them
    I didn't realise how difficult this was going to be, I feel like my heart is breaking.
    I cry for hours after my session, trying to figure out what to do with all pain I feel.
    My therapist is starting to dig beneath the surface and the pain is unbearable at times. I wish I could run away and keep running, until I was exhausted and didn't care anymore.
    I know I have to go through this, in order to feel better. But GD, haven't I suffered enough??
  4. Moody Blues
    I continue to feel better, thanks to my therapist.
    I haven't been taking the Riserdal much, it puts me in a fog and I hate that feeling.
    My therapy is becoming more difficult and completely drains me. I guess it's good sign, if I didn't feel anything I don't think it would be helping me. After my last session, I cried for 2 hours after and it felt good.
    I think I have started to face my demons and I'm scared.
    I know as time goes by, my therapy is going to become more intense. I'm a bit apprehensive, but I know it has to be done.
    My next session is in 2 days and I'm already getting anxious about it. Sometimes I feel, I've suffered enough and why bring more pain into my life? But I realise, I have to go through this, in order to get better.
  5. Moody Blues
    For the last few days, I've been feeling good! I've had a bit of anxiety, but my new med (Risperdal), is really working for me.
    I have an appt. with my new therapist tomorrow and I'm actually looking forward to it. This will be my second session and I already see improvement in myself.
  6. Moody Blues
    I've been suffering with severe panic attacks for years. I've always had an obsession with my face, seeing horrible images when I look in the mirror. Being ashamed to talk about this, I never went into detail about this with my pdoc, or therapist.
    I recently started with a new therapist and opened up to her. Within 15 mins, she diagnosed me with BDD.
    I had brought this up many times with other therapists and it was always dismissed.
    My therapist has dealt with this disorder before and has a treatment plan in place. I can't tell you how relived I am, my illness has a name and a treatment!!!
    I now have hope I can battle this, just giving it a name has made me feel better. WOOO HOOOO!!!!!!
  7. Moody Blues
    It"s been one week on Cymbalta and I'm feeling much better. Side affects aren't too bad, some sweating and lack of appetite. I don't want to get excited about this, what if down the road it stops working?
    But for now, I'm enjoying the peace and quiet in my head.
  8. Moody Blues
    Been through two therapists and they can't seem to help me, I'm still seeing my pdoc on a regular basis and still experiencing severe panic attacks. I ditched the Diazepam, it didn't help much and went back on klonopin.
    I just started taking Cymbalta yesterday and hoping it will give me some relief.
    Sometimes I get so tired trying to fight this demon, it's been many years and sometimes I want to give up.
    Being a fighter by nature, my mind won't let me give up and I keep chugging on. I've tried so many meds and nothing seems to work.
    I'm now taking 4 different medications at the same time, geez can't we just find one that will work? :verysad3:
  9. Moody Blues
    My therapy has been going well, I'm starting to understand the demons inside.
    I can't believe all the unresolved issues that I've been dealing with. No wonder I'm anxious and depressed!
    I'm so happy I gave therapy a chance.
  10. Moody Blues
    My panic attacks have become uncontrollable. I started on Diazepam, which seems to be helping.
    My body feels like I was hit by a truck, so many aches and pains. My stomach is churning and I'm losing my appetite.
    I start therapy tomorrow, but I don't hold too much hope.I know what my fears are and eventually they will happen. It's trying to deal with it, that's creating my panic.
  11. Moody Blues
    Just when I think I'm feeling better, I get swept in a downward spiral.
    I've been dealing with depression for years and I still have a hard time dealing with it.
    For me, I know it's a chemical imbalance. Sounds so easy to fix, but it's not.
    Ok I'm PMSing, which always makes me sad. But my depression seems to be getting worse then normal.
    I researched Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder and I seem to have all the symptom's.
    I get so irritable and angry, sometimes I scare myself.
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