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About Winter

  • Birthday 10/17/1967

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  1. Happy Birthday! ღ Have a great day!

  2. Happy Birthday! I hope you are doing well :)

  3. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  4. Hi everyone, When the doc first prescribed Paxil and Clonazepam over a decade ago, the Clonazepam was a life-saver. It was so great to get a break from the noisy and worrying brain. It was especially great while adjusting to Paxil and the side-effects. It wasn't long before I started popping them like candy. My tolerance level went up and I needed more and more for it to have any effect. I weened myself off of it and today, ten years later, a one-month prescription can last up to six months because I only use when I really, really need to. I often force myself to go for a walk or clean the house or anything that will keep my mind occupied when some anxiety hits. Good luck to everyone.
  5. I don't know. There are too many "pams" and bams, and other meds....I wish I knew more about them. Thanks to all of y'all for the info... Thanks for the chuckle, the pams and bams made me laugh
  6. I use Clonazepam for the days with extreme anxiety. You have to be careful not to become dependent on it and I have noticed my tolerance level is higher, so I am being very careful and trying not to use it often. I wonder how Clonazepam differs from Lorazepam?
  7. Hi Girl :-) You will find so many people that can relate to your story. My family used to call my room "the apartment" because I pretty much lived in there all the time. My father (God rest his beautiful soul) used to joke that he was going to start charging me rent. When I asked if I could have a TV in my room...he looked at me horrified and said "what??? then we'd really never see you!" My dad was so cute and I miss him. My poor family used to think I didn't love them or was ashamed of them because I always wanted to be alone. Back then, no one thought to get me to a doctor, everyone just thought I was anti-social (that really hurt). I couldn't explain to them how I was feeling because back then, I didn't even know how to explain it to myself. Therapy really helped me figure out why and when I explained it to my family, even though my mom had a hard time understanding, she supported me and the whole family tried to do things to help. Do you think it would help if you sat down with your family, explained to them that you're not feeling right and want to see a doctor?
  8. Hi Kaycee and welcome :-) No one here will ever think you're crazy or judge you...we all understand what you're going through. There is so much you can learn on this site and get some very important information and of course, understanding and support. Have you spoken to your doctor of your feelings?
  9. Hi everyone, Even as a small child, I remember asking our religion teacher at school certain questions about things in the bible that didn't seem to make sense to me...but of course I didn't get very good answers except you either believe or go to hell (how nice). As a child I used to have nightmares about religious figures because of all the fire and brimstone teachings. I grew up Catholic but my family wasn't fanatical about it and I stopped going to church (used to actually even sing in the choir) when I realized that some of the stories that were being preached just did not make sense to me. Also, I never understood how Christians, who were supposed to be following the word of God were so intent on putting everyone else down if they didn't believe the same things. We're not supposed to judge lest ye be judged right? Then when I was older and I turned to a priest for guidance while my marriage was falling apart, he grabbed me and tried to push his tongue into my mouth....right in front of the alter!!! I went home that day and almost killed myself. The more I learn about science, the more my faith is starting to fade. It drives me crazy when people blame God for everything that goes wrong in their life. I don't trust the bible...after all it was written by a bunch of men thousands of years ago and they pretty much decided what went into the bible and what stayed out. I mean, it's not like they sat down with God over lunch and he dictated the bible to them. Today, I am a spiritual person but do not follow any organized religion. Religion is supposed to be about love, acceptance, being good to your fellow man but everyone uses it to justify what they are doing or saying. If there is a God, I honestly do not believe for one minute that he would love any of us differently, I don't believe for one minute that he would hate any group of people. When I hear people spouting religion and saying that homosexuals are not loved by God, I want to scream....how dare they??? Anyway, I don't want to start a debate or offend anyone who does believe....I respect any and all religions that preach love and tolerance but refuse to have it shoved down my throat or have people tell me that I will burn in hell for not believng. If you ask me, with the way the world is going, this IS hell and if there is a God, he must be really disappointed that there isn't more love and tolerance for everyone's fellowman.
  10. Hello and welcome to all the new peeps, Chakkuri, I'm also one of those people that will probably be on meds for the rest of my life but I've made peace with it. I need to take Lipitor for my cholesterol so I just look at Paxil as another med that I need to help me. Yesterday, I went to my first group therapy session ever. I found it online by myself because none of the doctors, therapists and even my psychiatrist ever mentioned it but I figured I had to do something other than just take the meds they dish out. Even though I was freaked out all morning over the thought of going, once I got there the warm reception I received put me completely at ease. We cried and laughed, received support and gave support to those who needed it. I don't know what I was expecting but everyone was so normal, intelligent and compassionate. I noticed that when I was giving someone a hug or trying to help them, I didn't hurt as much for myself, it was a wonderful experience and I am definitely going back next week. Stay strong :-)
  11. Thanks PRT :) You were right, I did really like it and the people were amazing. It really touched me how people dealing with their own pain reached out to offer comfort to others. For the first time in a very long time, I didn't feel alone! We cried but we also had such good laughs. I'm definitely going back next week.
  12. Dear Visions, You're not crazy, not even close, I know exactly how you feel. My family, although loving and supportive, used to hurt me by saying I was "anti-social" and that I must not love them because I was always on my own. When I lived at home, they used to call my room "the apartment" because I spent a lot of time in there. It wasn't that I didn't love them, it's just that when you're feeling like jumping out of your skin, crying your eyes out or the negative thoughts and worries in your head are too much and there's no possible way to explain it to yourself - let alone anyone else, it's so hard to make small talk and enjoy being around people, even family. I understand your worries about people not understanding...many don't. They think we can just "will" ourselves better or that we shouldn't be complaining because we may be so much luckier than someone suffering a physical illness. That's why this forum is so great, you get to realize that you're not alone. You should get some reading material on your illness and share it with your family...explain to them that this is the reason you isolate yourself, not because you don't want to be with them. My circle of friends and family has become very small because I try to surround myself with positive, loving people. Those who really love you will support you even if they don't understand. My mom honestly tells me she doesn't understand but will be there for me no matter what. Your post really touched me and I wanted to send you some positive vibes :-)
  13. Hey everyone, In two hours I will attend my first ever therapy group for anxiety and mood disorders. I'm freaking out....why am I freaking out??? I get so angry with myself that I can't do the simplest tasks sometimes because of the noise in my head and the freak-out feeling in my gut. Sometimes I wish I could just rip off my skin and jump right out of this body. So I have to drive someplace and walk into a room and sit down, why do I feel like I'm going to my own be-heading?? I so wish I could just get up and go without needing hours of "convincing" myself. It's a beautiful day and I live in a beautiful city, why can't I just enjoy the drive and then maybe meeting a group of people that are going through the same things I am. I feel so sad today....sad and so very tired of this journey
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