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Beyond Broken

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  1. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  2. Don't know where to start. I just wake up every day sad and depressed. I am 42/m No kids. I own my own business which is very slow right now. Running out of money. I have no one to hold or love. I live alone in a big house. I have a dog and cat. They help a bit. But I'm just so D*** tired of feeling this way. I cry almost every day. I still miss my ex girlfriend (which was a horrible person) I broke up with her back in July. I go to therapy, I was on Welbutrin for 8 weeks (it did nothing). I recently quit smoking (23 days ago). I eat healthy, I work out, I try to fill my days. Nights suck. I just don't know what else to do. The only thing I have to look forward to is my new girlfriend who lives 7,000 miles away... Lately I have had some pretty bad thoughts about my life. I hate feeling like this, and I am so tired of feeling like this. What can I do? Any advice at all?
  3. 5 weeks in. No side effects. However, no results either. on 300mg. 200mg am, 100mg pm. Still just as depressed as I was before I started it. Still cry everyday for no freakin reason... I'm guessing I need to give it a few more weeks? I hate this feeling!!!!!!!
  4. A mixed club in my community? Like what? I'm not sure if there's stuff like that near me... Any suggestions would be great! Like a cooking class, or something like that? I'm not sure what a mixed club even is. I'm sorry
  5. Hello, some of you know me from my previous post about my unhealthy relationship. That is over now. However. I am all alone, and I hate it! I hate going to bed alone and waking up alone. I am a 42 year old man, And I am finacially secure, I live in a beautiful house. I have a dog and a cat. But I get so lonely. I have all of my family that lives close by, and we are all close. I do spend time with them. I have a few friends that come visit, I have a big poker game at my house every weekend. I have hobbies, I exercise, I eat healthy, I try to find something to do all the time. But then sometimes I cry for no reason at all. I am so miserable. And So Alone. I just started taking Welbutrin (2 weeks in) Sometimes I think of my ex and want her back, but I know it just wont work. I would like to meet someone and I try (on myspace) But I don't feel I'm ready in my emotional state. Am I just being a big baby? Does anyone here live alone? What do you do at night?
  6. Update: I've been on the welbutrin now for about two weeks. It's not working yet, but I know it supposed to take 6-8 weeks. I Started taking flying lessons which really keeps my mind occupied (during flying). And I look forward to every lesson! But I am still severly depressed, and I don't think it's about her as much anymore as it is about being lonely. When she pops in my head I can start thinking about something else. I just say to myself that she is no good for me. and an awful person. And think of something else. But this loneliness is horrible. I live in a big house all alone (except for my dog and cat). I wake up feeling bad every morning, worse if I had a dream of her. And my nights are awful. I used to drink every night, I have cut that way down. I think I'm doing all the right things, but I still breakdown and cry for no reason everyday. I hate this feeling! I'm trying to meet other women now, I go on myspace everyday and flirt. And I get alot of responses, but I still dont think I am ready to date anyone until I can get her out of my mind. But I do feel that if I met someone nice, I could hang out sometimes and do some things together. But it's hard...
  7. Good God you people are simply wonderful! Lots of good advice and help. Here is what I've done so far: well first off I have deleted her completely from my life.. ie myspace, cell phone, email. etc.. NC! 2nd: I joined flight school which is very exciting, and I look forward to it everyday. And it definetly keeps my mind focused. 3rd: I started a saltwater fishtank which requires alot of my attention. I have a cat and dog. I live alone in a big house with them. It gets a bit lonely at nights. I took up a new habit called drinking. It helps at nights. I also started on Anti-depressants (welbutrin). seems to be working so far... Along with the valiums... I'm a big ole mess. But I am determined to get better!
  8. I am currently on 300mg. 150 am 150 pm. Anyone take more than this? btw. its Bupropion...
  9. Some of you know me and my story. To sum it up real quick. I was in a toxic relationship for 2 years. it has been over now for a few months. (still down in the dumps) But getting a little better each day... The most common advice i have been getting is "Take this time to get to know yourself". 1. What does that mean? 2. How the heck do you do that? 3. Where do I begin?
  10. Hello all. I am a 42 year old male, no children, and I live all alone in a big house. I do have a dog and cat... My family lives nearby, and they are not much help. (Snap out of it) they say... I do have a wonderful friend who knows me better than i do. She is actually an ex gf. But we broke up over 4 years ago, and now are almost best friends. She is with someone else now, but is usually there for me when I need her. But I think I'm interfearing with her and her bf. But I can tell her anything. And she cares a great deal for me. Anyways... I try and stay pretty active, I have lots of hobbies, I have a therapist and a pdoc. Just recently went on Welbutrin (5 days ago) ...oh before you ask, we broke up because I wanted children and she already had two and her tubes tied) And then there's my recent horrible ex gf that I can not seem to stop thinking about. I broke up with her (for the 3rd time) in June. She was just impossible to live with, and just a rude arrogant person. I had enough. But sometimes I miss her, and want her back, but I know she is no good for me. But I am so alone. And I hate it! I HATE IT!! I just want someone to share my life with. I consider myself fairly attractive and i am financially secure. I flirt with girls on myspace and almost always get a response. We chat for a while. but thats as far as it goes. I dont feel I'm ready to meet someone new. Until I can get my ex out of my head. I made a list of things I enjoy, I try to do them all, but there are times when I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. Depression sucks. I hope the meds work soon. I hate Living Alone! What else can I try or do?
  11. I just started taking this generic form of Welbutrin. This is day 3. I take 75mg in the morning and 75mg in the evening for 5 days. Then I increase 150mg morning and 150mg at night. What should I expect in the next few weeks? My Dr diagnosed me as borderline severly depressed. If WB Doesn't help, then we are going to have to go to something stronger like Prozac. But then I heard on prozac, and can kiss my sex life goodbye...
  12. I tried thought stopping. But thats impossible right now because she consumes my thoughts. If I yelled stop everytime I thought about her i would be yelling stop every minute all day long...lol. I went to my psychiatrist and we decided to put me on Welbutrin. I hope it works!
  13. Hi. I too am a 43 year old male, have suffered from depression long term and am currently taking mirtrazapine (remeron). I have been on a multitude of diifferent ADs over the years and yes I can honestly say that out of all the ones I've taken this one provides the least amount of sexual disfunction. In fact I'd say it is almost unnoticeable. Good Luck Paradise Thanks. Went to my doc today, I told him about my two choices of taking either Welbutrin or Remeron. He said that remeron will make you very tired, so We decided to try Welbutrin. I sure hope it works. I will keep u guys updated. This is only day one... He said allow 3-6 weeks. Sheesh...
  14. Hello. I am a 42 yo male. And I am severly depressed. I have refused to take ad's due to the sexual side effects I hear about and have expierenced on Pristique. I am going to my dr today to talk about starting an AD. I am very sexually active right now, but very depressed I cry for no reason etc. I need something... Is this the one with the least amount of sexul side effects?
  15. I am in therapy (doesn't help). I do take valium (doesn't help). I write in my journal everyday. How do you start a blog? Any other suggestions besides suicide? Because I think about that option everyday...
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