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  1. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  2. I have changed meds twice this year. I just don't see the point in taking all this medicine if it isn't doing what it is prescribed to do. I have experienced the medication poop-out effect though. I think a huge part of my problem is that I have lost my faith in getting better.
  3. So I have been in treatment for depression/post traumatic stress disorder since 2002. That is when I first joined this forum. Back then it was called something else. Anyhow, I remember being really encouraged by the forum and its posters so I thought I would return after many years. Quick Background 29/yo Male Veteran/ Combat Service Survivor of Explosion I have been in the hospital three times. I have tried so many medicines for treatment. We are talking like 30+. I recently dropped about 30k on a hospitalization and a 30 day intensive outpatient therapy program. The program was 8-4 daily for 30 days and included group therapy, individual therapy, classes and EMDR. Anyhow, after almost a decade of help, medications, therapy, and etc.. I actually feel significantly worse than I did when the problems started. I have been feeling completely hopeless lately and I have to talk myself out of suicide daily. However, I can not seem to trust a doctor. The solution to Suicidal Ideation seems to always be "Well, lets get you in the hospital for a week and make sure that your okay." This just adds to problems rather than alleviating them. I have to pay for the stay, explain to family and friends that I have lost it again, cause my wife to panic and worry, deal with insurance, repeat myself 10 tens to different people about my condition. I just don't see any good alternatives right now. Its gotten to the point where my final note is already typed and I just wait for the day to put it to use. Does anyone have advice for me or can anyone relate? I know many will say talk to a doctor but that hasn't helped in the past. Being hospitalized makes me want to end this cycle even more. Thanks for listening, SadJack
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