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  1. Medication History. Milestones -First diagnosed with depression around 16-17 years old. Cannabis use and took various other drugs in this period. Recommended treatment was Psychiatry sessions. -22 years old. Still mildly depressed. Doctor recommended tablets. Tried Tricyclics, bad reaction. Started on Seroxat standard dose, seemed to work well. -Mid twenties. CBT sessions. -Early 30s, switched to PRozac standard dose due to short half life of seroxat and bad press for Seroxat/Paxil. -Mid 30s, switched to Citalopram standard dose due to sexual side effects. No difference. Also tried Escitalpram. No difference. -Late 30s - first big attempt to come off AD's. Tapered Citalopram to quick and started taking again. -Early 40s. Switched back on Prozac as perceived side effects were less, long half life for tapering etc. -43. Started long taper. -45. Drug free July '21 2021
  2. Thanks for the responses. Last month has still been very up and down, im having to be very careful about any stress triggers. Yes, the emotions returning took me a little by surprise if im honest and I think its calmed off a little bit now but im still feeling pretty sensitive and just trying to keep my head down. I was definitely getting extra angry or sad very quick. I was also getting what I would call increased empathy, ie things happening to other people were making me more emotional than normal. Weird sh*t! I will look into the Niacin. Atm im using Fish oil, turmeric and a multivitamin. Zero stress triggers and my mood seems to pick up pretty quick but I still have ruminating thoughts of hopelessness and fear especially early in the morning. I am sleeping ok which is a god send and using CBD where necessary. When I use CBD i seem to sleep though to at least 5am with minimal interruption so probably getting a good 6-7 hours a night which is key for me. I recently took time to write down my meds history which I have included in a separate message below. Thankfully, the fatigue which was what originally caused me to start posting here seems to have largely dissipated but still having issue with motivating myself. I orginally started out thinking I will see how it goes until xmas and then decide if I want to reinstate or not but i realise now that having come so far then a year or more will be needed to properly assess. Annoying thing is it does feel a bit like life is on hold somewhat whilst i go through this.
  3. Update: Since my last message, things have really been all over the place. Windows and waves ive learnt its called. The good news is the fatigue seems to have finally lifted in the main and im back doing exercise but having to limit sessions as it seems to affect my sleep (Cortisol spike?). Another positive of that is im more motivated to work but that keeps changing day by day. Had some extreme anxiety up until a few weeks back, wasnt sleeping at all well with all kinds of thought about dying and stuff getting out of hand. Also had a really short fuse which isnt like me at all (tbh after 25 years on AD's Im not really sure about 'what my personality was like before?! Pretty sure I was in the main always a calm person or it would have certainly appeared that way to others). This all now seems to be more in control and discovered the joys of CBD for keeping me calm and helping me sleep. Trying not to take it every night as dont want to be dependent. Sleep seems to be the key, although weirdly sometimes after waking up 10 times in the night and probably only sleeping 4 hours I can have a really positive day? WTF?! OVerall, still feeling a bit flat but its manageable and havent been tempted to re-instate. Will be 3 months clear next week. Next milestone will be xmas and will update here closer to then. Keep Positive all!
  4. So, 5 weeks or so in and not exactly feeling great. So sodding tired all the time but sleep problems seem to have gone away. I think i read somewhere that reducing to zero can leave your body in a very sensitive state and it certinaly feels like it! Im trying to minimise any negatives to allow myself time to heal. Dont feel depressed as such but because so tired im feeling sensitive and getting angry easily. PRobably averaging 2 days as week where I feel i can get something useful done such as a decent amount of work or exercise then spend about 3 days feeling wiped out. Persevering.
  5. Hi, Have since moved to 1 tablet every 7 days and then to zero since last sunday July 18th. Have not felt great for probably around a month with some anxiety and that dark feeling you get. Also finding im not my usual relaxed self and getting angry easily. Brain fog is the other one, struggling to work affectively. Strangely I instantly felt worse upon missing what would have been my scheduled dose on the 25th July, suppose that was probably largely psychosomatic however the feelings havent gone away. 4 days out 5 im tired still. Sleep has obviously gone to shit. Going to try and see it out though. Will update here. Cheers
  6. Update: Have moved to 1 tablet every 6 days about a week ago. Still been feeling very fatigued, exercise regime has gone off a cliff. At least the early morning dread (anxiety) seems to have lessened and depression is manageable. Going to carry on until I get down to zero. If i continue to feel fatigued nothing really to stop going to one tablet every 7 days and then stop completely. By then it will have been a close to 2 year taper! Surely thats got to be long enough for anyone to come off a tablet?! Trying to think if the sudden onset of fatigue a few weeks back could be to do with anything else. Did have first Covid vaccine around that time. Astra Zenica. Couldnt be could it? Cheers all
  7. Another update. Have got down to 1 tablet every 5 days since my last post but have been very fatigued for the last 2-3 weeks with less of an ability to concentrate and 'find words'. Have also had some anxiety return, especially in the morning when waking up at 5am but its under control. At this point I feel like im at somewhat at a crossroads. Its twice now that moving to this dosage has ended up with the fatigue in particular and its probably the worst symptom for me. Im kind of torn between just stopping completely (thought process being that at this dosage im possibly just prolonging the symptoms mentioned above) OR to move back to 1 tablet every 3 or 4 days to stabilise. I could of course stay on this dosage and ride it out for a while longer. 20 months into this taper so dont want to throw it away completely. Any advice welcome! Cheers
  8. quick update, had a bit of a wobble around xmas as i got confused with my dates and went straight from 1 tablet every 3 days to 1 every 5 days. Since then I went to every 4 days and now to every 5 days. Everything seems to be OK so far. The fatigue I was getting orginlly is long gone. Im now approx 18 months in on my taper which sounds crazy but I wish Id done it this slowly way sooner. Once I get to one tablet a week, at that point will assess just knocking it on the head depending on how Im feeling. Stay Strong all
  9. Hi, Update: Have had little to no fatigue for around a month now and have even upped my exercise regime to 3x a week and I havent done that in a few years (mix of general tiredness and slow recovery from gym sessions). Weirdly I now seem to be recovering from exercise a lot better than previously? Unsure if this is to do with less SSRI in my system or just a coincidence? Overall, feeling positive so as off this week dropping to 20mg tablet every 3 days so going from 42% of normal dose to 33%. Setting reminders in the app I mentioned previously. Next step would be every 4 days or 25%. Cheers all!
  10. Another update: Now taking 20mg tablets every Monday, Wednesday, Friday with weekends off for last 2 weeks. Have felt much more energised this week. Might be that ive turned the corner with the fatigue - might be because I havent been drinking much in last 2 weeks. Feel good overall and been doing lot of exercise. Definitely the furthest ive ever got and im quietly hoping that maybe ive gone below my therapeutic level my body/brain is finally remembering and beginning to fill in the gaps. Going to do at least another month at this level before going to maybe just Monday, Friday or every 3rd day. Recommenced phone app called 'My Therapy' which you can set to remind you to take pills on odd patterns of days. Still looking at end December to come off completely. One year process which has ended up coinciding with lockdown which has probably been of benefit to me as life is a lot slower. Best wishes to everyone going through 'the taper'!
  11. Hi, Just a quick update from me. Still on 10mg prozac an the fatigue seems to be coming and going. Depresssion also under control but im having to be very careful not to drink too much or overdo it in any way as that is when I can start to feel things are a bit hopeless. Goign to stay on same regimen until further notice. Cheers everyone!
  12. Hi guys, Thanks for your feedback and words of support. Still feeling tired but apart from that holding up pretty good. I think im going to hold at this dose (20mg every other day so 10mg average) for at least another month to see what happens. My next step would be to go to 6 x 20mg over a 2 week period (roughly 8.5 mg average). So for me that will be weekends off and then Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Seems to me to be a workable way of tapering slowly? Will update here if anything changes. Therapeutic for me to write about this and hopefully others can benefit from my experience. Btw happy to chat or answer any questions about 20 years+ experience on these drugs! Cheers all - stay well!
  13. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

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