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rowanramshackle

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About rowanramshackle

  • Birthday 07/20/1990

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    England

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  1. Happy Birthday - hope you have a great day :)

  2. yeah, i get that dull aching pain in my chest/stomach. & i get fatigued, like all my energy has been drained, and my limbs/back ache. whenever i get anxiety, (which isn't that often any more), my heart rate increases and i feel intensely nauseous. it doesn't physically manifest itself all the time, but when it does it's horrible :/
  3. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  4. all depressives should carry around a big sign that says 'handle with care', haha. people are crushing. 90% of them annoy me senseless. i hate to say it, but most people are dull, rude, shallow and arrogant. look around you...people generally suck.
  5. yeah, when i'm just going about my day, or when i'm silent, my face looks miserable. like others here, i can't hide the pain. i actually wear sunglasses a fair bit in public, because i don't want people looking at my dead eyes. if i'm having an okay day, people actually comment that i look nice. it's weird.
  6. pro. i need my medications to live. i've tried coming off them before, and i was completely unable to function. i'd almost definitely be dead without them. they're not the only solution, and i'm sure not the only right one, or appropriate one for sufferers of depression. but they can help, in some cases a little, in some cases a lot. depression and mental illnesses are an illness like any other. if you're going to be anti psychiatric meds, you might as well be anti cancer treatment.
  7. my health, my happiness, my freedom, and a lots of friends. thinking about it makes me cry. depression steals everything.
  8. i smoke...i enjoy and like smoking, especially socially. i love a cig with a cup of coffee or glass of alcohol. it does relax me a little, but i wouldn't say it has a significant positive effect on my depression/anxiety. it's just a habit, and a bad one.
  9. your story made me angry, and sorry for you. why are your family treating you like cattle...? we don't exist to look pretty, like pieces of meat. it's unhealthy and detrimental to be fixated on your appearance. even very beautiful people can be driven to misery when they base their entire worth on what the look like. try and concentrate on your personality, and attributes. we're stuck with our looks, we have to accept them. focus on what you can do to better yourself in other ways. it might sound trite, but what is on the inside is truly important. charisma, intelligence, talent, etc win over psychical beauty. maybe you should write a list of the things you like about yourself.
  10. lol, no...that maybe be a form of mania, which can be a symptom of depression. i get hyper sometimes, so i know what you mean.
  11. i am the same, sometimes i try fight my way through all the s***, other days i just give up. it's so hard to feel like your fighting a war against your mind. i have good days sometimes, i might do a painting or go for a nice walk.
  12. i don't like leaving the house, especially where i live. if you look a tiny bit different it's like being put on a stage naked and laughed at. the general public here depress me, they have no manners & stare with their dumb gazes. i just want to punch them in their faces. i find it such a drag going outside, i wonder if i'm going insane. crossing roads, endless grey buildings, noise pollution. i agree. there's so much hate in the world, i prefer being at home or somewhere quiet and natural like the countryside, or at least somewhere pretty.
  13. thank you very much, i hope you do too. x

  14. when i'm around my friends i put on this 'cheery' mode where i talk alot and try to be as witty as possible, because i don't want to depress or bore my friends. they know i have mental health problems, but if i make the effort to see someone i'm not going to just sit there like a vegetable like i usually do. i prefer being in the company of someone who tries to make me feel better than someone who is just as miserable as me. i have depressed friends and and most of them don't wear it on their sleeve around me.
  15. ((((rowanramshackle)))) I know what you mean!! Sometimes I am very happy and that amazes me when I'm in a not happy mode but I'm grateful for it! Sometimes depression feels like treading water in the ocean and the struggle to be happy feels like swimming against the tide to get to an island of happiness and when you reach that shore you just lay there in the sand so glad to be there and resting and just enjoying your surroundings untill some rouge wave comes and snatches you back out. Sometimes it surprised me and other times I feel like I'm dreading it and expecting it. Then you try to just tread water and not be sucked down by the undertow before you can work up the whatever to swim against the tide and get back on that blessed shore! I know how you feel!! It's a process and a struggle but a struggle well worth it for the times you get to lay in the sand and be happy!! That's what it feels like to me and I hope that helps in some way! that's a beautiful analogy, thank you for your thoughts. hope is precious...
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