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Everything posted by nicko953

  1. Hi Kelly, I don't mind you plugging your product here. If you feel uncomfortable posting can you please PM me? Your disclosure actually says alot. Here is my question: Why is your device so expensive? If you had a lot of success with it and have sold many units, I would expect the price to be much lower. I would be willing to try anything, but $700 is a lot to risk if it didn't work.
  2. I've been doing alot of research on drug free methods of treating depression, , anxiety, ocd etc. There is a new device that has recently come on the market that has been approved by the FDA in the treatment of depression, and and insomnia. Basically it stimulates the brain using very low frequency electrical impulses. IF you google "Fisher Wallace" you will find a link to the manufactures web site. The device is no cheap - $700. I was thinking of picking one up to give a try, but wanted to see if any of you have opinions on it before forking out that kind of loot. There are dozens of links on the internet about the device. Also its now being prescribed by psychiatrists. Snake oil? Or are they on to something here?
  3. Changing Your Mind - CBC's the Nature of Things Documentary Wasn't too sure where to post this... Not sure if anyone managed to watch this on CBC this week. It was a very interesting documentary on "Neuroplasticity". Specifically, they focused on OCD, PTSD and Schizophrenia. The full documentary is available for viewing via the link below. Its nice to know that there are advances in this field. Jeffry Shwartz the guy who wrote the book "brain lock" was even interviewed.
  4. Hi All, I've been on these forums for about two years. At first I started in the anxiety forums, then after a year or so moved to the OCD forums. Recently I started journaling and have found that there is a consistent and predictable cycle to my moods. I'm on meds (Luvox and risperidone) and have tried others before with some limited success. The luvox helps my OCD to some degree, but lacks in other areas. Anyway - psychiatric resources are VERY limited in my area and I'm only able to see a GP every two-three months, so getting a professional diagnosis is near impossible. My cycles go like this: For a month or so, I'll feel relatively "normal" - a few ups and downs, but able to function and get on with my life. I feel "good" and stable. Then, I will wake up and feel a fog settling in and after a few days have increased anxiety and OCD symptoms. After a week or so, I will become depressed with dark thoughts, self harm etc. This goes on for a week or so, then lifts and I go back to the "normal" stage. Sometimes the timeframes vary - l might feel good for one week then bad the next, but typically there are longer periods in between. During my "down" times, I will also cycle between feeling "normal" and feeling really "down" in the same day. So right now my diagnosis is "GAD/OCD with secondary depression". I feel like there may be something more to it though. What sets me apart from the atypical Bipolar candidate is that I don't appear to have mania - although high anxiety and irritability could mask this. What I certainly don't do is go into manic spells that cause disruption to my life - IE spending, life altering decisions etc. Any insights from those of you with experience? Cheers!
  5. I was worried about that too. So far - I've been ok. Its a minimal risk, at least according to my Dr.
  6. Hey! What a coincidence! I am not alone! I've been on Lexapro for a year or so and it recently started to poop out on me. I too have Pure-OCD and my Doc and I decided to give Luvox a try. I've been doing a slow cross-taper for about 3 months now. I was at 25mg of Lexapro and we added 25mg of Luvox. I am now at 150MG of Luvox and trying to get off of the Lexapro (now down to 7.5mg). First week was a bit rough with increased anxiety. After that, things improved dramatically. My anx was down and my OCD was much better. Still there, but much more in the background. Basically I had 2 months of calm, allowing me to focus on my life. Wow - I didn't even visit these forums a single time in 2 months! Unfortunately, I'm in a bit of a funk right now. My anx is increased and my pure-o is rearing its ugly head again a bit - but mostly obsessing about my condition and the meds. I've been doing lots of CBT and that's helped tremendously with some of the awful intrusive thoughts I was having (self harm, harm of others etc). All ridiculous stuff as I'm sure you are well aware of. So basically, I still have the thoughts but they don't freak me out any more. I think it has more to do with coming off of the Lexapro. I was under the impression that tapering from 1 ssri to another wouldn't be a problem, but I seem to having some difficulty. I had two choices - stop the Lex and start the Luvox at a therapeutic dose, or, do the slow cross taper. If you decide to give it a shot, let me know how it goes! Careful with the Klonopin - its great for those really bad days and for when you are in transition between meds, but as I'm sure you are aware, its addictive. I use Ativan myself, but very sparingly and at the lowest dosage...(Always obsessing about getting hooked, which is probably a good thing!) :) Yes - there are lots of people that have good things to say about Luvox for OCD. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it works out for me in the long run. Apparently you can go up to 300mg of this stuff. Like I said, I'm at 150mg + the 7.5 of Lexapro. (hopefully soon just the Luvox). I know what you are going through and how exhausting it is to have an obsessing chattering mind. CBT and Mindfulness have helped me out the most, but I can't discount meds - Its a combo that's helped the most. If you want to chat about your OCD, please message me... All the best, and let me know what you decide to do! Cheers, KOB
  7. I am an engineering technologist working for a high profile organization in an engineering role. I too suffer from similar ailments. Luckily, my organization is very understanding when it comes to things such as stress, anxiety etc. I needed to take 6 weeks off last year when my condition became unmanageable and they didn't even question it. Seems to be more and more prevalent today in our society, especially in demanding, high stress environments. I find the best way around the difficulties is to just go easy on yourself. Follow any regimens your doctor has prescribed etc. Just knowing that you are not alone should also bring some sort of relief. I wish you all the best. Nicko
  8. So I've been on Lexapro for almost a year. It did me well for a time, but unfortunately its time to switch. My GP has given me a script for Luvox. The initial plan was to stay at 20mg of Lexapro and add 50mg of Luvox to see how I tolerate it. I've been doing that for 7 days. To be honest, I felt great for most of that time...decreased anxiety rumination etc. Past day or two has been crummy - very much like I was just on Lexapro, and maybe a bit worse. I was supposed to have gone in to see my GP for a reassessment, but she's on vacation for the next two weeks. I'm not saying I will change things on my own here without her guidance, I just want to see what the next step is...reducing the lexapro and increasing the luvox? I've searched the web, but can't seem to find anything useful. Any ideas? Cheers. Nicko
  9. My Pure -o is mostly to do with harm/self harm. Lately, I've been mostly obsessing about OCD..."Obsessing about Obsessing"! So I've been on anafranil for 6 days. Didn't feel anything at first. Now I feel some increased anxiety. Its kind of uncomfortable. Felt the same way on Lexapro when I first took it. It eventually subsided. Hope the same is true for the anafranil. Cheers.
  10. I have a full time job in a high stress environment. I'm in Engineering. I took 6 weeks off for my OCD and I just got worse because I had too much time on my hands for my mind to drive me round the bend. I find work difficult at times, but being at work definitely helps to keep my focus off my OCD (most of the time).
  11. Thanks. Lexapro helped me with my Depression caused by GAD and OCD. My GAD and Depresssion were practically nullified with Lexapro, but it didn't do much for my OCD. Basically, I became a happy obsessive! I went up to 30mg and its been increasing my OCD, so I've added risperidone - .25mg and it hasn't helped much. My GP thinks Anafranil might just do the trick...I'll be starting after Christmas.
  12. So my GP has just advised me to stop following the advice of my PDoc as things haven't been going well with the Lexapro and Risperidone he's prescribed. She (my GP) wants me to continue with the Lexapro and add 25mg of Anafranil at night - give things a week or so and if I tolerate it well I'm to come off the lexapro slowly and increase the Anafranil. I read mixed reviews of this stuff. Some people LOVE it, others find the side effects too harsh. My Pharmacist told me that its old-school, and is making a come-back as its very effective if you can get through the side effects. I have pure - O - no compulsions. Anyone have any experience? One cool thing is that several people who have posted on the forums about it seem to have disappeared - stating that they don't feel a need to visit the DF forums anymore. Imagine that!?!? Nicko
  13. Awesome. I'm not alone. I obsess about obsessing constantly. I'm also fixated with medications that I'm on (obviously not working) and think about my "messed up" mind 24/7. Funny thing, I'm functional, have a good job and am able to maintain a good family life. I just have this constant chatter in my mind all the time. Its like a radio station that I can't change the dial on. It drives me nuts. I agree - its something that need to be accepted. Fighting it feed the anxiety and makes it worse. Haven't learned how to do this yet. I'm seeing the Doc tomorrow about trying out a new Med - Anafranil. I'm on lexapro right now and I think its pooped out. Wait...here I go again...obsessing. lol. Gotta laugh at yourself sometimes. Nick I'm exactly the same. I obsess about getting over my obsession if that makes sense. I think about it 24/7, endlessly look at forums such as these etc. Perhaps it's a good thing, if it helps me find an answer. I don't think I have OCD though because I don't have complusions. It could be pure O, I've no idea tbh. Your post made me laugh because I am the same way. I am relieved to know I'm not the only person that does things like that. Everything I do takes over my life. I started working out two years ago and became obsessed with eating clean and working out right. Then I got into SCUBA diving and could only focus on that, I had to know everything about the gear and perfect my skills. Now I can't dive because of meds and depression. I went back to school and stress myself out if I don't get an A. And now that my Pdoc diagnosed me with all these fun little acronyms (MDD, GAD, OCD) I am obsessed with knowing everything about them, searching websites and forums for answers and documenting my progress. I wish I knew what it was like to be able to sit and watch a tv show and only focus on what is going on instead of organizing every aspect of my life and playing with numbers in my head. lol i thought i was also the only one like this...having to know every little detail about what im obsessing over at that time. i got the exact same diagnosis as you, MDD, GAD and OCD lol. sucks huh? since i got diagnosed i had to find out every little detail aswell. its the worst because its so destructive and makes matters worse. i know this but i still cant stop myself from doing it...oh well its the nature of the disease..i hope the lexapro i started taking will help me =]
  14. Used to love horror movies. Now, I won't touch em. Still like thrillers, sci fi and kids stuff tho. I just find the horror stuff soooooooo freaky these days - even the commercials freak me out. ahhhhhhhh!
  15. You are not alone - but you need a shrink or GP to diagnose you. With me, it started with thoughts of harming my kids - threw me over the deep end. Then it went to thoughts of harming myself - still have those, but have absolutely no desire to do so. These days, its more obsessing about obsessing....and obsessing over my medications etc. Its like there is a looped tape recorder in the back of my mind, constantly playing out the same stuff. I can function and life, but I'd have a much richer life if this were gone. If I spent as much energy and time obsessing about the stock market, I'd be a frikkin billionaire by now.
  16. Thanks for the reply. It is an awful road some of us must travel. My PDoc has a reputation for being very quick to diagnose and has little sympathy for his patients. I research this to death and my PDoc doesn't like it that I'm so well versed as far as meds and conditions go. He tells me its my OCD. I may be obsessive about it, but its because I'm struggling desperately to find a solution. I have been going through this for over a year now and in many ways I feel that I'm not getting anywhere. I've read bout 10 books on OCD, anxiety management, depression management, acceptance and commitment therapy etc. I've exhausted all avenues and my gut/instincts tell me that this Doc is missing something. I think I'll fire him and ask for a referral to another one - its tough here in Canada, especially in a smaller town because resources are so limited. Today was weird. I took .25mg of Risperidone last night and slept fine. I woke up extremely agitated and was depressed, then agitated all day long. In such a fog and feeling just terrible. When I got home I decided to experiment and took a small piece of risperidone tablet - I'd say about .15 mg and then the fog lifted as did the anx/irritability. Not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow. Cheers, Nick Sorry to hear that you're having problems, but the issues that you described have popped up quite a bit on this board. It seems like there are a few folks out there that really react badly to the SSRIs, SNRIs, and other ADs. Now whether this is an indication of BP is pretty speculative, but I have been down the road that you're describing. Long story short, I was placed on Celexa and it really threw me for a loop; I was having bad mood swings, hypomanic, manic (agitated/racing thoughts) and then depression following soon after. This would all take place with the space of days or even hours; it was rough. So, if the ADs are causing you mood swings, make sure that you let your psychiatrist know and be very specific and almost forceful about it.. Now, my younger brother went down a different path; he went through almost all of the ADs until he found one that worked for him. He was struggling with depression and GAD, but his symptoms really mimicked BP disorder. He finally found an AD that works for him and he's evened out. But, it did take him awhile to figure it all out. So, all and all, you may just be suffering from depression and you need to find the right AD for you. Or, you may be BP and need mood stabilizers. I went through 5 months of h-ll while on the Celexa and we tried all kinds of other medications in combination. It wasn't until I got on BP mood stabilizers and off of the Celexa that I evened out. Honestly, the doc is already kind of going down that road with the Risperidone; it's a medication that is used for BP disorder quite a bit. And, on a final note, if you don't think that your shrink is listening to you, find another one. That really can be half of the battle in a lot of situations. I have a BP friend that went for several years without having the proper diagnosis. He saw the same shrink the whole time and they never figured it out. The tried him out on every AD available along with all kinds of other medications, but never BP mood stabilizers. He was finally hospitalized and the shrinks in the psych center were floored by the original shrink's diagnosis. They put him on mood stabilizers and he walked out completely stabilized; after years of suffering. And, to make matters worse, he had developed some pretty nasty drug habits over the years; he was self-medicating like you wouldn't believe. So, he also had to go through substance rehab several times, while dealing with the wrong diagnosis.
  17. Does anyone know of any screening tools for Bipolar II? I guess I'm trying to self-diagnose as most of what I've been through in the last year has been a disaster. I was placed on Celexa a year ago for anxiety and it threw me into severe depression. I came off that and went on Cymbalta and basically had the worst month of my life. (Coming off of that stuff was hellish). Then, after a meltdown, I was diagnosed with "Non-Compulsive OCD" (when I finally confessed my scary thoughts of harm and self harm and scary racing thoughts to my PDoc...no rituals or anything). I was then put on Lexapro, and it appeared to work for a while, but then recently has pooped out on me - kinda feel like I'm at square one. Now they still have me on that (up to 30mg), plus they have added Risperidone as an adjunct for my anxiety and racing thoughts and to give the Lex a "Boost". Is my PDoc possibly barking up the wrong tree? I have felt kinda "good" at times for a week or so, followed by feeling awful for a week or so, then normalize to somewhere in between for a bit. Looking back at my journale, there is a definite pattern that's developed. I just don't know what "normal" is anymore, so its hard for me to make a correct judgment or explain how I feel to the Doc - especially in the mild haze of these meds. He doesn't listen to me anyway and has the script written before I even come into his office. Every time I see him lately, I explan that "something is not right", but he just keeps telling me that I'm a difficult case and wants me to stay the course. Any thoughts? Kob
  18. Hi Guys. I was diagnosed with "Non-Compulsive OCD" about 6 months ago. It came about during a nervous breakdown and manifested itself with awful intrusive thoughts of harm, self-harm and stuff that only deepened my depression and anxiety. I seriously thought I was losing my mind and should be locked up. i can't tell you how much of a releif it was to have someone tell my that I wasn't losing my mind and that I had OCD. Thakfully, after several trial rounds of meds and CBT, I was put on 5mg of Lexapro/Cipralex. It worked wonders for me with a combination of CBT. I slowly had to work up to 20mg a day, and did great for about 4 months. Just recenlty however I've had a slip back and my PDoc recommended going up to 30mg. I know this is outside the normal range, but it seem to be working better. Anyone else have any experience with this med and OCD? Nicko
  19. Sounds very familiar to me my friend. Welcome to the Lexapro start-up roller coaster ride. You'll go through this to some degree for a week or two, and then again when (if) you increase your dosage - although to a lesser degree. I started on 5mg and went through a very similar experience. Some days you feel like you've taken two steps back, others a few steps forward. You'll likely level out soon. Stick with it - it works. If you find its a bit much, you can always cut back to 5mg a day for a few weeks, then increase to 10mg. (Check with your doc first of course). Nicko
  20. I did a little more research - It seems that because cipralex is still considered a rather new medication, that the maximum licensed dosages are relatively low. Also, most people respond quite well to lower dosages. Apparently there have been studies on people with OCD at much higher dosages such as 60mg etc with no ill-effects. From what I can see, people with depression alone don't seem to have any benefit on these higher dosages compared to the typical max of 20mg. Personally, I have OCD (non-compulsive - I just can't get stuff out of my head along with anxiety), and Cipralex and DEFINITELY helped! I feel like I just need a boost - I'm on 25mg now and can already feel it kicking in. Bit of a headache, but nothing a few Tylenol can't cure. Cheers! Well, I've been on 20mg of cipramil for a couple of years and only last week was advised to go up to 30mg, which I did for about 3 days without feeling anything. However, after seeing a new Dr, while mine is on annual leave he suggested 40mg, which I began this very morning. Already, even within a few hours I'm aware of that slight being kicked in the head feeling, a little more alertness and a few small zooms (nothing like effexor though). See how you go with 30mg. It may work. I've been through quite a bit lately, thus my Psyche and dr recommened upping to 40mg. Interestingly, the Dr said the highest you can go to is 80mg? Good Luck!
  21. Took a full two months for things to really kick in for me. This stuff works if you can work through the neg start up side effects. I started and 5mg and thought I was losing my mind. Now I'm at 20mg, bumping up to 30mg and its like taking an aspirin.
  22. I was doing so well on 20mg of lexapro. The last week has been quite off though. Some dizziness and some return of my anx. Went to the PDoc today and he recommends upping to 30mg - says he has lots of patients that do well at this and even higher dosages. Spoke to my pharmacist today when picking up my script and she confirmed that the typical max dose is 20mg, however she has lots of patients on 30/40mg and even some on 60mg. I'm kind of bummed out that I didn't level out with 20mg. I guess my fear is that 30mg will work for a while and then I'll need to keep going up until it stops working. (Need to change this neg thought pattern and look on the bright side.). Anyone else have experience with higher dosages? Any issues/success? Cheers, Nicko
  23. Everyone seems to come off so fast. No wonder there are rebound withdrawal problems. My PDoc has suggested that when the time is right, I'm to taper off VERY slowly: 30mg down to 20 for a month, 20 down to 15 for a month 15 down to 10 for a month and so on.
  24. So its been just over 4 months on Cipralex. I have definitely improved. I still have bouts of anxiety and ruminating OCD thoughts, but they are much more manageable. I still find myself thinking about my illness every day and wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't have to think about it. CBT has helped, but I really do think I had some sort of chemical imbalance as I'm miles ahead now compared to when i started. Its funny - I look back 9 months ago when all this started and I can hardly remember how terrified I was that I was losing my mind. I realy did think that I was going insane and I was so frightened, confused and painfully depressed. I now realize that I was making myself worse by constantly worrying and obsessing over everything. This summer I've been very busy at work, moved to a new house, built a fantastic deck and have a trip planned to Florida with the fam. Our new house is awesome and I love looking at the trees blow in the wind in my back yard. Its little joyful things like that, which tell me I'm living life again. There are days when I worry that I'm slipping back, but I keep on reminding myself that I'm on the right path here, and need to take it easy on myself. I'm also afraid to write down some of the positive things because I'm afraid I'll jinx myself. Wait - that was mr. OCD talking. (It's not me it's my OCD)...:) The only regret I have is that I've started smoking again after a 5 year quit. The odd ciggy here and there to take the edge off has turned into 1/2 pack a day. Again - I need to take it easy on myself. I'll quit again when i'm ready. Here's to a great summer. KOB
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