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Everything posted by Hertz

  1. There's gonna be skyscrapers on Mars before my depression gets better.

  2. I resent waking up in the morning. I'd rather die in my sleep.

  3. Perhaps the desire to reach out to the artists/creators indicates a longing for human connection. Reaching out here is a good way to get support. Taking steps to find human connections in face to face interactions could help as well. That's easier said than done for sure, I don't know to what extent your mental health is an obstacle.
  4. I don't want to be gay.

  5. I agree with the others that safety is important. I would talk to my doctor about PrEP (Pre-exposure prophylaxis). It's a medication that can be taken either continuously or around the time of the sexual intercourse, depending how sexually active one is. It greatly reduces the chances of getting infected with hiv. It doesn't prevent infection from other diseases, so using a condom is still advised.
  6. Hertz


    I don't want to become a nihilist, but I don't want to live a life of illusions and fantasy either. Some people say you can create your own meaning. That sounds great if you are creative and have enough vitality to realize your creations. I guess I ran out of steam. My mind doesn't come up with ideas. Not everyone can be an Elon Musk and have a billion ideas and the means to do them.
  7. Between the undevelopped brain of the baby and the dementia of old age, we live a few years of "lucidity", with an unreliable brain prone to illness.

    1. HeatherG


      I'm sorry you're not feeling well.

  8. Why am I alive?

    1. HeatherG


      Because you have a purpose for being here. 

      I so enjoy your posts, those that are sad remind me of how I feel a lot.  Even though I don't know you Hertz, checking in to see what you're posting makes me feel better--not the sad posts. 

      I think of you as this unseen friend.  I don't know what I can say to make you feel better.  But I wish I could say something that could make you feel better.  

  9. God has thrown me under the bus.

  10. Aging is death by a million cuts.

  11. Yes it does. Maybe it's the wrong word. My issue is really about attachment and being unable to summon it.
  12. I wonder if there are any people out there with attachment issues similar to mine. Basically, I can't develop feelings of attachment. I have friends and relations and appreciate social stimulation, but I don't feel love. I don't think it is a an attachment style issue. I had a therapist suggest I may have an avoidant attachment style, but I think it goes beyond that. The feelings are just not there. This leaves me feeling disconnected from others, and myself as well.
  13. Hertz


    Struggling with suicidal thoughts. Body aching. Musculoskeletal pain. Insomnia. Flu that started yesterday. Trying different med combos without success.
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