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Gisele

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  1. Thanks
    Gisele got a reaction from samadhiSheol in Futility and void   
    S,
    Fewer things have mattered more to my recovery than the double helix of well-being and purpose. Whether it is reasoning with it in a historical sense or being intimate with it in an evolutionary sense, those knots and entanglements are the fundament of what we are, what we might be and the shape of how we might get there. 
    How well we understand others is how well we understand the same place in others. I think that is why I tend to gravitate toward blogs more than the forums. Blogs tend to illuminate this so much better. 
    Can I ask, have yo ever envied those with a clear purpose if that meant a shift in your moral compass? Before an older life and this one, I wondered all the time. Would it be better to help and also risk harm, or to just give up. Sometimes it does scare me what I might have chosen to do instead.
    I have been struck before by your carving for a purpose. I truly hope that counts for something because I am sure you could do a good many good things 
     
     
     
     
     
     
  2. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from JD4010 in "You have to love yourself." What BS.   
    When greeting cards and fridge magnets salt fertile minds, pop psychology is what we get. Self-worth and self-love are not the same thing. Self-worth is the thing that won't let you take no for an answer and try again, tomorrow, to be a genius. 
    All love is respiratory. Breath love into what you do and love will come back. Sometimes we have to re-learn this. 
  3. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from samadhiSheol in "You have to love yourself." What BS.   
    When greeting cards and fridge magnets salt fertile minds, pop psychology is what we get. Self-worth and self-love are not the same thing. Self-worth is the thing that won't let you take no for an answer and try again, tomorrow, to be a genius. 
    All love is respiratory. Breath love into what you do and love will come back. Sometimes we have to re-learn this. 
  4. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from JD4010 in Epic Fail   
    Being enormously fond of exercise and being varying degrees of mental, I have some thoughts on exercise which may or may not be useful. Work out what motivates you, make a plan, consider carefully the free time you have, rule lines in an exercise book and call it something quaint like "My Cute Little Exercise Journey", google shit ... diets, routines, perspectives and really, really immerse yourself so deeply and so thoroughly and ... you'll probably sit there and hate yourself instead. 
    That's when you might pile all that up and make yourself a nice fire.
    Do it for your body and your brain will catch up. That's how it is for everybody but that doesn't sell books.
    So you're guy wouldn't do the cesspit? I like that you're obviously not in journalism or marketing 😉
     
  5. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from samadhiSheol in Epic Fail   
    Being enormously fond of exercise and being varying degrees of mental, I have some thoughts on exercise which may or may not be useful. Work out what motivates you, make a plan, consider carefully the free time you have, rule lines in an exercise book and call it something quaint like "My Cute Little Exercise Journey", google shit ... diets, routines, perspectives and really, really immerse yourself so deeply and so thoroughly and ... you'll probably sit there and hate yourself instead. 
    That's when you might pile all that up and make yourself a nice fire.
    Do it for your body and your brain will catch up. That's how it is for everybody but that doesn't sell books.
    So you're guy wouldn't do the cesspit? I like that you're obviously not in journalism or marketing 😉
     
  6. Thanks
    Gisele got a reaction from samadhiSheol in Core values, or more to the point no core at all   
    S,
    I happen to think there is much truth to that. Our core is mutable and fluid and dynamic. We couldn't go from Survive to Thrive with our same self and the same values, whatever they may be. I also think the values we have at least start as lights in the night sky. Some stop shining and others shine brighter and brighter. I think there must be a real truth to that because there weren't any of the lights shining on the child me that shine on my own children.
    Can I just say that it isn't often nihilism is as engaging as you have made it and for quite some time. 
    If it changes ... if you find something ... I for one hope I'm still here to read all about it
  7. Like
    Gisele reacted to Bulgakov in Escape   
    Had to leave for a dr. appt., but did want to add that I really enjoyed:
    "Thankfully, that’s just a worry and not a reality as my husband (who I will love until the day I die for being so effortlessly hyperaware and the most unfussed human being I have and will ever know, rejoined us) all happy and armed with his caffeine. I don’t know how he does it but he sense enough of something to answer Lucy’s question for me. 'What’s a bogan? A Collingwood supporter, like Mum'  he said brightly steering us toward the beach. There you go kids, proud parents Right and Wrong."
    We're all Bogans, of course, was his point, all sports fans of one kind or another.  That's a good thing for kids to learn, or grown ups too, so good on your husband; and on your for noticing.  I've been reading about mountaineers for a couple of years, and the history of mountaineering.  Lots of the 50s-through-60s climbers were Aussie or Kiwi.  Current author of the book I'm reading speaks of one, named Don Whillans.  He would often participate in bar room brawls when he was young, and they referred to them as "punch ups." 
    I had a teacher once, philosophy class, who said I could make all the value judgements I wanted . . . as long as I was aware I was making them, which I think maybe is part of what your husband was saying. 
    As said, lots of good thoughts entertained in your blog.  Hope you feel better.
    Bulgakov
  8. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from 20YearsandCounting in How Can I Be A Fan If I Never Watch It?   
    If you're living vicariously through a TV character .... which is something I may have done myself before Cersei died in a freak bricklaying incident ... then get yourself a perspex screen and go hard! Like a footy fan 😉
  9. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from 20YearsandCounting in Up in the air....   
    Safe travels! As a recent and, if how it feels means anything, nascent widow to wanderings of perhaps that kind, remember to
    Stay in touch Stay in touch  Stay in touch Come home eventually Wouldn't be surprised if you need time off after trying to herd cats in the religion forum. I would have ... nevermind 😉
  10. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from JD4010 in Up in the air....   
    Safe travels! As a recent and, if how it feels means anything, nascent widow to wanderings of perhaps that kind, remember to
    Stay in touch Stay in touch  Stay in touch Come home eventually Wouldn't be surprised if you need time off after trying to herd cats in the religion forum. I would have ... nevermind 😉
  11. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from JD4010 in Why do I even try?   
    I can only say do your very best to not make comparisons with anyone that was never asked to make the same difficult decision. It's not fair on either of you, especially you. 
  12. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from JD4010 in On Street Adventure   
    The real worry, albeit from abroad, is having to wonder if the guy was carrying. That's just appalling.
    I dunno, if the country you live in loves its first amendment so much, are you able to think in kind and drive a tank? Wouldn't mind seeing an angry motorist side swipe that 😉 
  13. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from samadhiSheol in No value   
    I for one will be sorry to see you go. That aside, your ultimate betterment is much more important.
    I agree, by the way. A life that isn't finite or without threat or without the intersection of heaven and hell right here on Earth isn't one any of us would recognise. 
     
  14. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from BettrResultsHereIHope in No value   
    I for one will be sorry to see you go. That aside, your ultimate betterment is much more important.
    I agree, by the way. A life that isn't finite or without threat or without the intersection of heaven and hell right here on Earth isn't one any of us would recognise. 
     
  15. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from samadhiSheol in What happens when you have nothing to say anymore?   
    Good question. I tipped myself head first into my own long history of nothing-to-say-anymore and bugger me if I wasn't expecting to find an answer. 
    I didn't.
    Other than I think we drift towards extremes and further from that juicy place in the middle, where answers tend to live.
    You're not me. I talk and talk when I have nothing to say. Weird
  16. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from 20YearsandCounting in Going Down In Flames....   
    I read that forum frequently, for my own reasons, but don't contribute to it mostly because zealotry and my sense of humour tend not to do well together.
    And I have a blog for that instead, which is ace!
    By the way, you moderated it comfortably 1500 times better than someone else that may or may not have sorta moderated it between what may or may not have been piques of Christian zeal ;)
     
     
  17. Like
    Gisele reacted to mmoose in Millstones   
    Perspective. 
    The comment may not have been maliciously spiteful.  Or, ignornant. It may have been their perspective.  Their jealousy.  Their projection onto you from a selfcentered small person.
    I hate when people project onto me.
    Violent people who think it is fair...it is from their perspective.  I wish to have a wider perspective.  And, one that is not solely centered around me.
    I hope that everyone does not belittle your concern over your reactions that may include thoughts of violence.  But, maybe the things in your head are occurring in everyone else's. They just do not take them so seriously.  Not that you would seriously perform an act of violence. But your perspective and experience makes it a short walk between reaction to fantasy to reality.  
    You have a lot of power.  How you use it is up to you.  Thinking of something, but chosing not to do it.  That is good power.
    mm
  18. Like
    Gisele reacted to samadhiSheol in Millstones   
    This is slightly off topic..but you inspired me to no end!
    I recall reading about a buddhist monk or zen master saying: to be able to not to ki ll, one must know everything about ki lling.
    It kind of makes sense to me. Emphasis on kind of. Ideally we shouldn't have to have the concept or ability of taking anyone's or anything's life. But we do. We have that capability and each and everyone of us has violence inbred in our bones. So acknowledging this, our thoughts and also our potential to do evil deeds could and should be a path for all of us to be more considerate to one another.
    Some of us faulter though most of us don't. Is it the result of social conditioning, or an innate sense of good, categorical imperative... or  the lack of wherewithal..I don't know. 
    But still, that buddist monk makes sense to me, anyway. No way would I inflict stuff I think of at times on anyone else.
    Or would I? I like to think I.m a good person siding with the underdog etc.., but I hope the occasion never arises.
    I hope you never face any kind of violence again., Gisele. I hope no one will.
     
     
  19. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from SpiralingMind in Official Irony   
    @Mmoose,
    Silly, foreign me. I did not know it had to be a pipe dream and I don't know that knowing that now makes it any better. I shouldn't care of course, and I don't, sort of, except that:
    a. America is a superpower with an acute pi**y-streak. This can only end one way.
    b. He is the dumbest, most hypersensitive and dangerous ____ alive
    c. He is the dumbest, most hypersensitive and dangerous ____ alive
    d. e. f. g. h. i...etc. He is the dumbest, most hypersensitive and dangerous ____ alive
     
     
  20. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from Natasha1 in So bad.   
    Telling you what most occurs to me (which is, don't ****ing do it) won't mean s***. But, I dunno, look into the eyes of someone you you love - person, pet, photograph, hard-etched memory - and feel, like really feel, those eyes telling you the same thing. They won't say anything else because there is nothing else they can say that is real and permanent and perfect.
  21. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from samadhiSheol in So bad.   
    Telling you what most occurs to me (which is, don't ****ing do it) won't mean s***. But, I dunno, look into the eyes of someone you you love - person, pet, photograph, hard-etched memory - and feel, like really feel, those eyes telling you the same thing. They won't say anything else because there is nothing else they can say that is real and permanent and perfect.
  22. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from Jalen in So bad.   
    Telling you what most occurs to me (which is, don't ****ing do it) won't mean s***. But, I dunno, look into the eyes of someone you you love - person, pet, photograph, hard-etched memory - and feel, like really feel, those eyes telling you the same thing. They won't say anything else because there is nothing else they can say that is real and permanent and perfect.
  23. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from GSpolar in Self-hatred   
    I have read your blog for a long time now and cannot help but feel the anguish of your spiritual self. I resist saying it .... mainly because I don't want it to frustrate you by missing the point .... but it really feels like you're living in two halves; a corporeal self long since left and a spiritual self losing the will to drag it back.
    I hope your spiritual self  can remain right here, on Earth, and live the life it deserves. For you, for others, maybe even the wider world. It needs oxygen and not being ridden into the ground. That would make a saint angry. 
     
     
  24. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from samadhiSheol in Self-hatred   
    I wish that too. I really do. I wanted to say it before but couldn't quite find the words; there IS something in the space between your words that I recognise. Deeply. Whether that's an anger or a strandedness or something else entirely, I don't know. It just feels not so very far away when I read your stuff, particularly. 
    If I could offer you something from my own experience ... and please see this as merely the best I got and nothing like an answer ... I don't think it's possible to feel the sort of void you feel without having some sense, sometimes, acutely of what is missing. I mean, where your head and heart need to be. You might have to go back in time to find it. I know that habit and loss and a million miles of other s*** are great at burying it. Where did your imagination used to take you? Maybe there is a foothold there?
  25. Like
    Gisele got a reaction from Natasha1 in Tell Me Something I Don't Know   
    That makes me blush.
    I wish I loved more of what motivates me to write but I probably don't... it's all a bit embarrassing really
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