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Everything posted by surfcaster

  1. Strangely in the past few weeks i find i cannot go to the suicide forum, I'm not really feeling dire distress but still can't go there even to just see if anyone is looking for someone to vent to, when i do i get all weird mentally, just wish i could if only to give an ear
  2. Why can't they just leave me alone, i regret the day i allowed them an avenue to contact me, they were cut off for many years, in a moment of weakness i caved and left the door open, they want to see me before its too late they said, well too late was 25 years ago, that ship sailed
  3. Sorry you had a rough day, i do understand not wanting to constantly argue with her and escalating things, getting out probably was the best thing to calm things down, I'm too stubborn to do that, after childhood bullying i just flat out refuse to back down, your way was more civil and correct and i applaud you for it, tomorrow should be better.
  4. Dinner tonight, yellow squash, zuchini, Brussel sprouts, asparagus, broccoli spears, seasoned and pan seared with a bit of butter, yummmmmmy
  5. Im doing ok alone, better then i gave myself credit for, so why then am i thinking I'd be better alone, is it to spare people close to me the grief of my life or is it to spare me the grief of everyone else, hmm, IDK.
  6. Not sure how to feel right now, I'm all alone until tuesday for the first time since getting out of the hospital, i mean I'm ok but it just feels weird, i grew accustomed to having someone always there asking how i was everyday and if i was ok, right now it kinda feels releiving to be able to just be me, all messed up and strange but me you know, now it's possible i could need to talk about thoughts but y'all are always here so, here's to getting to know myself by myself again.
  7. Sending healing powers of thought your way, feel better soon
  8. Your posts make me smile, thank you
  9. That's good, keep on them until they manage it
  10. Sorry you are in pain cherry, is there something else docs can do to ease the pain, i know how frustrating it can be, pain caused me to not sleep for weeks which caused me to get in a delerium which put me back in the hospital, please try something to manage the pain
  11. My allergies got a lot better when i moved to the coast and simultaneously started taking asthma medication, as far as the arthritis issues, well, there's no help on that front, besides it's just pain, pain doesn't bother me, i can usually just deal with that unless it stops me from sleeping.
  12. Been out fishing and enjoying nice weather with a new friend i met near our new house, good day
  13. It just may end up being a lovely time, here's to you having fun
  14. Hope you enjoyed yourself, it's nice to get away from time to time
  15. Yeah, it's hard when you know what should help you but you just can't let it sink in, self loathing gets in the way because we believe we deserve it which is not the case, sometimes we think people hate us when really they just don't understand and steer clear
  16. Happy Father's day to all the dads out there in DF land
  17. Seems like we generally stress over the fact we're stressed, twisted world, please try to do something nice for yourself and relax, maybe meditate or soothing music
  18. It was 95 degrees yesterday and 72 degrees today and no humidity with partly sunny skies
  19. Hot as hell on the US east coast today, tomorrow looks to be a nice day though, hope y'all have good day's tomorrow
  20. Well im glad you are climbing back and are able to walk good again, yeah arthritis sucks, got both my knees, feet and spine but it ain't stopping us though.
  21. Well what i left out was at one time i had a drug abuse problem, never alcohol but they lump them all together which i disagreement with.
  22. I'm not sorry for myself because i enjoyed it, but to those who were hoping i stayed sober I'm terribly sorry, i met an old friend and had a few drinks, maybe more then a few but I'm ok, i never really felt alcohol was a problem but the docs and the hospital did, i can and do go weeks without drinking so i feel im in control contrary to professional opinion, my issue was always life and family stressors leading to depression and suicide, alcohol was an escape occasionally, i had fun tonight, please don't see me as weak, i don't want to let y'all down
  23. Im so sorry to hear this sad news river, may he rest in peace
  24. Was today your birthday? If so im terrible sorry i didn't recognize it
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