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Everything posted by surfcaster

  1. surf as in surf fishing and caster as in casting a fishing rod
  2. sitting here reading the furum and watching tv
  3. i also agre with what you've written, and as someone who has failed a suicide attempt i had to hear all the comments about everyone goes through times of high pressure and you've just got to deal with it, or just suck it up and deal with it, as if that was so easy to do for someone with depression and suicidal ideations. there is a lot out there on tv about different depression meds, more then there ever was, but they really don't touch on how depression affects the way our mind works. maybe if the media got more out there on how depression affects us people would be more informed on this disease, thus leading to a little more acceptance of depression and how it makes us feel, leading to more people willing to help or just sympathize.
  4. i live in the closet at work, the thought of someone finding out is terrifying, being a supervisor it would ruin all faith my bosses have in me, that's just the kind of people they are
  5. i used to be but now they stopped working so well, so im at the beginning of having adjustments and changes
  6. actually I love my therapist and don't know where I would be today without her, it took a while to open up completely but there are things I can talk to her about that I cant with my own wife
  7. im a supervisor for a state highway department
  8. lets see im on a boat load and not sure this combo works too well abilify 10 mg Cymbalta 90 mg welbutrin 450 mg klonopin 3 mg trazadone 150 mg
  9. thanks for the support and understanding guys, im glad that I have folke here to talk to
  10. give the meds some time but I would also discuss this with your doc to see what they think, depressive episodes come and go, some are long and some are short, I've just come to accept that this is probably the way it will be for me, but everyone is different, I've met plenty of people who got over their depression and it never came back, I hope this is what is going to happen for you
  11. as if being depressed and having a tendancy to isolate aren't enough here I sit on another long holiday weekend alone, my wife and daughter left Friday morning for the beach and won't be back until tomorrow night, can't go out or do anything because im on call all weekend and have to be close to home where the work truck is parked. not that I have any friends to go visit anyway, won't go see my parents, they don't deserve my presence with the way I was treated by them when I was younger. I just feel abandoned, cast aside, left to deal with things by myself, again. sorry I just needed to let out some of what I was feeling, the rest im afraid would get censored.
  12. I was told to me so my therapist is the one i talk tohave people who say they are here for me to lean on but when I try I usually get a different response then what
  13. once I leave the shop im alone all day at work and I like it that way, when I get home I can either catch up with the wife and daughter or I can just stay in my room
  14. I would have to say the anxiety and the suicidal ideation
  15. yes i get this feeling every now and then but ive learned to fight through it, to trust that things can get better because they do, they dont always stay better but they also always get better and that keeps me going
  16. i take klonopin everyday and it does help with the anxiety, antidepressants alone weren't doing the trick
  17. i at the moment hate my job but truely beleive that it is the job that makes my depression worse thus making me unhappy, what makes me happy is the beach and any time i can extend my time away from work
  18. my focus and concentration wanders all over the place at times, the only things that really help are my therapist and meditation
  19. red, take some time now and before the midterm to meditate and relax the mind and body, i know it sounds silly but beleive me it helps, i meditate every day and i swear sometimes its all that keeps me here
  20. i personally would not accept the money, not from my mom, not after all she has done for me already
  21. you really need to tell him what is going on, im sure he would want to know, he loves you and only wants to help in any way he can.
  22. im sorry to hear that you slipped, i know that its hard to keep away expecially when you cant get your meds, stay strong and keep fighting it and eventually you will win the battle
  23. weekends are the best days for me because im not at work which depresses me and stresses me out the most, now its not to say they are good the're just not as bad as the week days
  24. hello, im fine today thanks for asking and how are you doing
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