surfcaster

Im doing ok alone, better then i gave myself credit for, so why then am i thinking I'd be better alone, is it to spare people close to me the grief of my life or is it to spare me the grief of everyone else, hmm, IDK.

Not sure how to feel right now, I'm all alone until tuesday for the first time since getting out of the hospital, i mean I'm ok but it just feels weird, i grew accustomed to having someone always there asking how i was everyday and if i was ok, right now it kinda feels releiving to be able to just be me, all messed up and strange but me you know, now it's possible i could need to talk about thoughts but y'all are always here so, here's to getting to know myself by myself again.

Sending healing powers of thought your way, feel better soon

Your posts make me smile, thank you

That's good, keep on them until they manage it

Sorry you are in pain cherry, is there something else docs can do to ease the pain, i know how frustrating it can be, pain caused me to not sleep for weeks which caused me to get in a delerium which put me back in the hospital, please try something to manage the pain

My allergies got a lot better when i moved to the coast and simultaneously started taking asthma medication, as far as the arthritis issues, well, there's no help on that front, besides it's just pain, pain doesn't bother me, i can usually just deal with that unless it stops me from sleeping.

Been out fishing and enjoying nice weather with a new friend i met near our new house, good day

It just may end up being a lovely time, here's to you having fun

Hope you enjoyed yourself, it's nice to get away from time to time

Yeah, it's hard when you know what should help you but you just can't let it sink in, self loathing gets in the way because we believe we deserve it which is not the case, sometimes we think people hate us when really they just don't understand and steer clear

Happy Father's day to all the dads out there in DF land

Seems like we generally stress over the fact we're stressed, twisted world, please try to do something nice for yourself and relax, maybe meditate or soothing music

It was 95 degrees yesterday and 72 degrees today and no humidity with partly sunny skies

Hot as hell on the US east coast today, tomorrow looks to be a nice day though, hope y'all have good day's tomorrow

Well im glad you are climbing back and are able to walk good again, yeah arthritis sucks, got both my knees, feet and spine but it ain't stopping us though.

Prayers for you and the family

Well what i left out was at one time i had a drug abuse problem, never alcohol but they lump them all together which i disagreement with.

I'm not sorry for myself because i enjoyed it, but to those who were hoping i stayed sober I'm terribly sorry, i met an old friend and had a few drinks, maybe more then a few but I'm ok, i never really felt alcohol was a problem but the docs and the hospital did, i can and do go weeks without drinking so i feel im in control contrary to professional opinion, my issue was always life and family stressors leading to depression and suicide, alcohol was an escape occasionally, i had fun tonight, please don't see me as weak, i don't want to let y'all down

Im so sorry to hear this sad news river, may he rest in peace

Was today your birthday? If so im terrible sorry i didn't recognize it

( HUGS )

it is really hard to explain to people what you feel and go through, it is even harder to explain it to people you don't know too well, most people think they know what depression and anxiety are but in reality are completely wrong in their thinking, and when you try to explain the truth of things they don't beleive it, hoping you find a way to make things work.

i really am going to also celebrate for you when you get your new place and are on your own in total control and out from under that dark umbrella, that place just seems like an all consuming cancer, just hold on a bit longer.

My past history with drug abuse i try to steer clear, i don't think it'd be an issue BUT, one just doesn't really know