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littlesongbird

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About littlesongbird

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  1. ok thank you. i tried to see a doctor but it didnt go well. and i am not working now, so i dont feel like i can right now.
  2. I am 34 years old and my brother is 32 years old. We have always lived with my parents. My brother is literally my best friend. I never had too many friends. I had 2 friends at the most. I am not dealing with it very well. I really don't want him to go and it is making me extremely depressed. I think it is making me think about my own life and the chances I didn't take. Like how I didn't have the guts to date this guy or drive or get a better job or get a car or move out. And right now, I am not working because I was laid off. And to be honest, when I think about moving out myself I get very nervous and scared. I am scared to be so alone and own my own. I guess that isn't really normal for a 34 year old. I dunno, I needed to get this off my chest somewhere. I guess I do wonder what do people think about this? I don't really have anyone to talk about it like this .It is making me panicky and making me feel like I need to start thinking about this.
  3. Thank you Lacewing. Your post was very helpful to me.
  4. But if I back out of the appointment, I wont ever go
  5. Yeah. I am wanting to back out of the appointment. And now I am scared to ask my boss for off tomorrow.
  6. I am freaking out because I made an appointment at a social anxiety place. Yes, I have social anxiety. And now the appointment is on Wednesday. But I will have to go into work tomorrow and ask for off on Wednesday. I am really, really, very nervous to do this. Is it normal to ask for off one day in advance?
  7. But what if I am alone forever? What if I am supposed to be married and having a baby soon. that is what i think about.
  8. I am 32 years old. I have no goals. I am numb. When I think about dating I feel nothing. Or I just dread it. I am single. I have always been single except for 6 months of my life. I have a job. I have a car. I live with my parents. I have saved my money. But I am stuck and numb. Food was the only thing that made me feel better. But now I am fat. I joined a dating site. I talk to guys. But, I am too lazy to really do anything. I feel nothing.
  9. I feel like I am losing it. Like I am losing my mind. And no one cares.
  10. The problem is my anxiety stops me. I feel so much pressure in regards to dating him and then yes, I would like to contact my friend again - but - I most likely have hurt her by not speaking to her 100 times. At some point, I feel like I need to take responsibility for my own actions and STOP contacting her because it always ends up the same way. Of course I could date him without her knowing, but since he lives so far - it feels like such a big deal to me. I guess I have been sheltered too much. And I feel like meeting up with him is a huge deal. Yes, I like him....but praticallly speaking I have a hard time making plans with my friend who lives 10 minutes away. I have social anxiety. So, when you combine all these factors together....it makes me freak out. The driving, the planning, i think of my old friend, i think back when i met him and didnt feel anything. i am scared of that happening again. I don't want to hurt him and I feel like I am too deep in this now all because I am lonley and wanted someone to talk to. I can't tell if I like him or not since I havent seen him./...but seeing him is so risky to me. I know I could jsut take the risk and I would if it wasnt so hard for me. Regardless what anyone says 2 hours is far for me. 1 hour is even far. I get anxiety about driving. I havent driven very far ever. Even if he came too see me, I am not sure how that would go. I live with my parents. It sort of feels like I will hang out with him and it will be a huge deal since it will have to be a whole weekend. He did mention meeting halfway, but I am not good at planning and then I would have to drive him because right now he cant drive because of a DUI - which is a whole other story in itself.
  11. I truly need some help here. I am experiencing constant worrying. I have lost a friendship about 2 years ago. She moved an hour away, got married and had babies. Her sister just got married this Saturday. I only know this because it is on the internet. I keep obsessing about the friendship and feeling guilty for not staying in better contact with her.. However, I have stopped talking to her many times through the course of the friendship and I don't feel like it would be right to contact her again. I do not see a solution on how to get me to stop worrying about this though. It's like I just want to feel OK and stop worrying. I can't concentrate at work and I can't sleep right. Secondly, there is this guy who lives two hours away that I like talking to, but I think he may live too far to date. Also, I met him when I was with my ex-friend. So I lump all of this together with my worrying. I feel like since I am not friends with her anymore that I can't date him because I feel like she should know. And also he reminds me of the past. I feel guilty and regret about things in the past. These people are from the past. I would like to move on because of all this worry / anxiety I am experiencing. But, then I look around and I don't have anyone else. I have one other friend.
  12. Basically, I stopped talking to my friend. I did this a lot over the course of the friendship. So we have a lot of on and off times. However last year, I emailed her and she responded and said it has been a long time and she was on maternity leave. I was hurt because she didn't tell me she was pregnant or even had the baby. And I was hurt because it felt like it meant she gave up on our friendship a while ago. She emailed me recently in May to wish me a happy birthday and I didn't respond. I think the reason she emailed me was because of her sisters wedding. but i didnt want to go, so i didnt respond now the wedding is over and i am missing her I have to admit this doesn't make sense....like I think I miss her when it has been a long time or if i hear from her. But, if I were to talk to her, I am not sure it would go well or be good for me. I also have to admit my thoughts are really obsessing over this. That is why I wrote this post and am hoping I can get some opinions on what I should do? I have very few friends, that is also why I think I am so obsessive. I also am afraid she will say something about how I dropped off the face of the earth again OR that i stopped talking to her.
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