Rage1605

Thanks for the replies everyone! I am sorry I didn't get back on earlier, it has been a crazy week with work and all. Thanks for the help too! I am glad I am not the only one going through this, I wish my doc would have told me about this....it would have been better to expect this. I am still up and down a lot, but I have been that way for a while. However I was worried because Wellbutrin seemed to make it 100000x worse but for now I am good. I feel sorry for everyone here that goes through this crap....I just cannot believe how bad mental illness is, I just wish I didn't ignore it for as long as I did. Well I wouldn't say ignore.....the sickest part about being depressed is that your mind makes you think that is not the case....it makes you believe that either it's normal to feel this way because everyone else does, but you are just a wuss for not being able to deal with it or hide it. Or in my case, I thought I was just lazy my whole life and I didn't want to be anything...yet deep down I wanted to do a lot.....like I said, it's the worst "disease" because it makes you think you are OK....or cannot be helped.

That sounds very good! I was just wondering if anyone had these issues and if it's normal! I have delt with the depression before but not being irratiable like this. I felt good a few days last week but now I seem to be back in the gutter...however, it's been an hour or two since I posted that and I am starting to feel better again.....I am hoping this time it lasts. My primiary diagnosis is depression, I have a very little anxiety, so little in fact the doc's don't think it's a problem. I will try the 300 and stay on it for about 3-4 months (that's what everyone says to wait for it to kick in) but it was a little nerve racking a few hours ago. It's just that I have came so far and now I do not want my depression to screw me up like it did in High School. Thanks for the response again though, it means a lot to me!

I have been reading on this forum that Wellbutrin has an up and down effect when you first start taking it. I have been on it for four weeks (150mg) and my doc wants me this Monday to up it to 300mg. However, I had to come into work this afternoon (I am a net admin so working weekends is nothing new to me) and I feel like total crap. I don't want to work, I feel sooooo depressed and I just want to go hide and sleep somewhere and have everyone leave me alone. However, I have felt really good a few days last week..... My G/F is in this weekend (We have been dating for 7 1/2 years now) and I left her a text and voice mail to call me before she leaves back to Grad School and I see her online and she hasn't called/SMS back and I just feel like telling her to go to hell. So I guess what I am saying is that I am irritable......I just don't care now, I don't care about anything. I just want to sit here at my desk at work, read this forum and I don't give a D*** if I lose my job. I wish they could just find a cure for depression, this is the worst.

Cool thanks man, I was afraid this was a disease that once you have it, you always have it. I live in Naperville btw, used to work in Plainfield a long time ago.

Hi everyone! I have been on depression medicine for quite a while now and I am switching from lexapro to Paxil because lexapro stopped working for me. I am wondering, can you ever get better or get rid of depression???? I have been on different medications for over 10-12 years now (I am 26) and while I am weaning off of Lexapro maybe I should try without drugs to see how I feel? OR when you have depression you just have it and your body/brain will never fix itself???? I never tried to **** myself but I was self destructive because of my derpression (smoked wacky tobaccy when I was 16-18, had sex with a lot of girls so I could get that momentary high of feeling good, and I dropped out of High School because I just didn't care about life anymore but I never wanted to die, in fact, I was afraid of boarding airplanes and flying because I was afraid they would crash). I used to have panic attacks when I was 12-15, I was on medication and then I went to a therapist. After turning 16 I never had a panic attack again and I was off the medicine (but I was still on something for depression)...... So maybe my body can fix itself like it did for the panic attacks?? Or am I just being stupid? Also, I think depression is caused by environment mostly.....I remember being teased from the moment I started school until high school.....I was spit on, beat up, cursed at, no one wanted to be around me and I think that really screwed me up in the head. Now I hate being in crowds because I think people are looking at me thinking bad things and they might make fun of me...... Anyway, I guess my biggest question is this: Has anyone ever recovered from depression?? I mean, they no longer have to take meds? I am not seeing a psyhc or anything, my GP is prescribing me med's....maybe I should see a shrink?? I dunno! I am unsure on what to do

Hi everyone! I am new as you can tell and I found this forum by mistake (but I am happy I did). I have been struggling with depression for about 20 years now (I am 26) and I have been on Lexapro for about 5-6 years now. It worked great at first! I loved it, no side effects, I just felt better, it gave me my motivation back and I cared about stuff again. However about 1-2 years ago it stopped working I hate switching med's because I had a bad experience when I was younger so I just "stuck with it" and didn't tell anyone....well 60lbs later and all most destroying my life because I do not want to work, go out or get a college degree I have come to terms and went to the doc's. Instead of switching they supplemented lexapro with Welbutrin (sp?) and for the first 3-4 days I felt AWESOME, I wanted to get back into college, meet new friends, get my cert's (I am a network admin) but then I crashed, hard. It just stopped working or doing whatever it did for me and it made me worse. Now the doc is weaning me off of lexapro (I am lightheaded, sick to my stomach and I just feel very weird) and I will start paxil in 2 more weeks. I have read a lot of horror stories with that drug and to be frank, I am scared, very scared. A lot of people say it didn't work for them and I am worried about the same or if it will make me spaz out. Also, does anyone ever question if they have depression? I mean, most of the times I think I am not derpessed but just very lazy and I don't want to do anything or acheive anything. However I am just so confused and I just wish I could find someone who has the same issues I do. I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 years now and I never want to have kids because I feel that I could never be stable enough to handle that responsibility...anyone else feel that way??? I just feel so alone, I am not sure if I am lazy or depressed and I think that is the worst part about it. Well hello everyone! Hope I didn't scare any of you off! Rob