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About tpman

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  • Birthday 03/02/1988

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  1. No it doesn’t :( because I used to be fully functional and normal . I just want me/my life back.. I’ve done therapy for ages and the idea of doing it again just makes me angry.. cos it ****** let me down when I came off my meds. Ugh I give up...
  2. 2 years of suicidal depression.. multiple hospitalizations, a plethora of medications, and still severely depressed...isolated .. feel like I’m in another world ....Is there hope ? Because I don’t see any way out
  3. Because before this epidsode of depression (going on 14 months now) I was quite sociable and very much enjoyed being around people. It is in my DNA I have always been stimulated by socialising (though have always battled with social anxiety/phobia, which I had under control with medication and therapy)... Being so isolated is very painful right now, yet I simply do not have the capacity to get back out there.. ugh...
  4. So I'm having my doctors and carers telling me I need to try and get out and engage..get a job, socialise... etc im like, do they have any idea what it's like to have severe depression and anxiety... nothing brings me joy(except for playing an online multiplayer game).. I can barely hold a conversation because of how low my mood is... sometimes I feel I'm living on another world compared to other people... but seriously, it frustrates me when people say just get out and do things.. as if it's that easy.. most days I feel like a cripple can barely move... and sometimes it's the opposite where I have heaps of agitation. sorry for the vent , but it really just makes me feel more hopeless when people tell me I need to get out and do things .. because I try and I can't it makes me feel worse
  5. does anyone here have any experience taking benzos on a daily basis which helps with severe anxiety and suicidal depression... i'm in pretty bad shape I have some much anxiety/agitation that I feel I can't control doing harm to myself... but I no benzos are bad and can make things worse.. any one have experience with daily benzo use thank u
  6. So every professional i've spoken too over the past 12 months have assured me that Depression is episodic and it will end... Yet I have been suicidal for 12months now, and I'm not just talking about fleeting thoughts. I mean suicidal as in impulses and having to force myself to be distracted somehow so I don't harm myself. You know, that itch you can't scratch feeling... But yea, is this going to end? I have been diagnosed with severe treatment resistant melancholic depression (jee thats a mouthful)... I hear-by coin the acronym STRMD... lol... Don't no why i'm laughing or joking when at the same time I feel that death/dying/suicide is inevitable for me... Anyway, hope to hear from some others who have had severe episodes and come out the other end. God I wouldn't wish Depression on my worst enemy...
  7. Hi all, Has anyone had any success with adding Wellbutrin to reverse the sexual side effects of an SSRI and if so how long before you noticed an improvement. Thank you!
  8. Hi, Not sure if anyone can relate but I feel I am kind of self sabotaging.. I'm taking my meds but I hate taking them so much and I'm almost willing them not to work so I don't have to take them . i want to get better so much but I just hate myself so much it's like I believe nothing can help me. meds aren't helping... but I know if I stop I will lose my even more ...
  9. Hello and thank you for replying... i am still in very bad shape... I spent 1 month in a private hospital and came out worse - probably contributing to my anxiety.... but is awful. I'm waking up every morning in extreme distress and panic... If you see my previous posts you will see that I used to be a very high functioning individual and now I can barely leave the house...
  10. hi - hoping to hear from some people who have recovered from severe suicidal depression... im in a very bad episode which has been going on for almost a year and trying to find hope from as many people as possible.. it always helps hearing from folks who have come out the other end.... I have had moderate episodes before and I never freak out because from experience I know they dont last... but this is new for me... thank you
  11. Hey, Probably Europe or the US I'm taking meds and seeing doctors and trying to get out as much as I can ... nothing helping unfortunately... :-( The anxiety is sooo crippling...
  12. Nice Luna! Its great you are doing exposure.... I could learn from you.. I've really isolated myself atm, avoiding everything... My big goal is to beat this F$#%ing depression and go travelling with my dad... Will think of some smaller ones and use you as inspiration :)
  13. Not sure what to do about this one... I no when you are depressed they say try and get out and call a friend, or join a club etc etc... But what if you depression/anxiety is so disabling that you cannot do this... Is it fair to say this is where medication helps? To give you that boost to get out and do things? At the moment I can barely string a sentence together with my parents... I have to muster up all my brain power to order a coffee... The thought of socialising or seeing friends just seems impossible.. Can anyone relate? Thanks
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