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About lostingreece

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  1. Feeling kind of doped and like I've got something weighing me down, I've been sleeping a lot this last week and not really having the energy to do anything, things seem to have gotten worse with my depression but I'm not feeling so anxious constantly that just comes and go's. Really worried that this medication is doing more harm than good.
  2. Had a message off an old ex this evening wishing me well, she told me that my father had told her mother that I'm sick with depression. I just don't understand how the people around me have zero respect for my feelings even when they don't want to be around me. I feel betrayed and just lost right now.
  3. Positive, Saw a doctor today for the first time in 14 years to try and sort myself out. When I was in the waiting room I could feel myself starting to panic but I managed to stop myself from bolting for the door. I'm a little worried about taking meds and she said that I should try CBT which I'm also not so sure about. But I hope I can start to get thing's straight. It's been too long.
  4. Good song, made me think of this by him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi8vJ_lMxQI Requiem is great, really woke the neighbours up with that. this is a little more Sombre but great. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVlyzznCxkQ
  5. Going to see a doctor in the morning, feeling panicky and like I'm not going to sleep
  6. I've sat and listened to this for hours some days the vibration when listened to loud helps lift my spirits, such beauty. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE4gvD8lhlw Some great music listed already.
  7. Thinking about my ex a lot which has become like torture, it's been 9 months already and it hurts just as bad still. I'm really not helping myself at the moment and just feeding my anxious feelings, I really want to get better but I can't see how. Low, low, low.
  8. Made a vegetarian meal for my mom and her partner, they enjoyed it although complained constantly that there was no meat. damn carnivores!
  9. Feeling alone and trapped by my anxiety which just takes me lower. I wish I could form any kind of meaningful relationship, or manage to have a conversation at least but the anxiety halts everything.
  10. Really feeling down thinking about my ex, I wish I could just forget already, leave that behind. feeling sentimental and like a sap tonight too:)
  11. Started the day feeling bad but feeling quite relaxed and maybe even dare I say a little content. I'm smiling at least:)
  12. Thanks Tim even if your willing to read my post's it's greatly appreciated:) have a great weekend!
  13. Lost the positive feeling and back to feeling like I just want to hide somewhere, my anxiety is choking me today.
  14. I slept most of my day away to try and get away from the thought of spending new years alone. I sat and listened to music and read all night to see in the new year, I was lonely but it was pleasant enough. My Accomplishment is I've managed to stay quite positive the last couple of days apart from a few dips in mood I really hope it last's. It has really helped me to have this forum in the last week to see that I'm not completely alone (even when I don't have the courage to post) I read and it helps. Thank you everyone you help other's even if you don't know it.
  15. I'm going to stop being my own worst enemy and a danger to myself. I'm going to overcome my anxiety and forget the bad experiences, make some new friends and be open about who I am. Forging meaningful connections to share some new life experiences. But most of all I'm going to get better by taking control of my situation and not letting the depression run my life. Well at least the hope and the will are there I just need to keep the strength. Thanks to all and a happy new year I hope it will be a better one for everybody.
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