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About moonlightress

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  1. We meet again, old friend and nemesis, with our love/hate relationship. I admit it was good last time, at least while it lasted. Have you been cozying up to the very nice psychiatrist I saw today, you sneaky substance, you? Oh well, I hope you can help me with this mixed episode, which has been jerking me around the last couple weeks and decided to flatten and make me non-functional in the last few days? I have a life to live, as you know, and a 5-day exam starting tomorrow morning. Having just swallowed a starting dose of 40mg, I'm thinking it'd be really awesome if you could get to work like right now??!! And please leave me enough alert grey matter to be able to write something with at least a semblance of sense over the next few days. Am I asking a lot? Yeah, yeah, that's what you said last time, while all 240mgs of you soaked into my brain every day. You came on a bit strong that time, let's just take it a bit slower this time around, ok? But you were good to me and you didn't carry out those threats of potential, horrible long-term side-effects from a relationship with you. Guess we'll be having (at least 500Kcal) candlelit dinners together for the next while. You do remember I'm polyamorous, don't you? Lamictal and Wellbutrin will be joining us, like before. I'm surrounded by people who care about me, got an acute appointment on 2 days notice with a friendly and astute doctor who listened and agreed with my assessment; how lucky can a person be? Hmmmm, I guess, I'd be luckier *without* a mixed episode, but I'll take what I can get. How are all you others on Geodon doing?
  2. Hi Mimen! I see you joined here just a month before me. I lived in South Africa for most of my life. 🙂 Awesome to hear you're doing well. 😄
  3. Thank you, Lindsay! I'm touched. 😊 You were around, but yes, mostly "behind the scenes". I thanked you for the forum in my thoughts many times.... but you probably didn't get the telepathic messages. 😜 Trace, Sheepwoman and fishguyUMD were very active then. Happy birthday!
  4. 10 years on Wellbutrin 300mg/day and still going strong. Fantastic stuff. No discernible side effects, although maybe there are some that've just become normal for me? Not as far as I can tell. It lets me feel the whole spectrum of emotions, not the horrible dead bluntness of SSRIs. I go up to 450mg/day if I dip a bit, from time to time. Wellbutrin does not make me cycle, as it's balanced with Lamictal at 500mg (high dose). Life's good.
  5. Hi Bowser Welcome to the forum. I looked up PSSD, so I could reply to you. I'd never heard of it and never been diagnosed with it, but that is clearly what I have had, to the point where everything *completely ceased* working, for maybe 6 years or so? (Not even sure how long, I just gave up eventually, made the best of the situation and focused my energy on other things) - Gosh, so that is what it was. It's a thing and it has a name! Thank you for writing, I learned something. It has resolved now, just a couple of months ago, actually. Hypnosis worked for me. Both an actual session with a hypnotherapist, followed up with daily self-hypnosis from some scripts I bought and some YouTube videos I found. For all I know, you may have tried it? I've had incredible and far-reaching gains from hypnosis generally, so one day I started wondering if it could help for this too. And it did. Not in a single session, over a couple of months; I kept at it. Neuroplasticity is a thing, too. If hypnosis worked for everyone, it’d be the preferred treatment, but it certainly did for me and may be worth a try? I was switched to Wellbutrin and Lamictal, which I've been on for many years and which work fine. My BP is in remission and I no longer have, what I just discovered is called PSSD.
  6. No, yes, yes and yes. 🙂 Meds are not enough on their own but they can get you to where you can fight it with every other possible means. I still have 'episodes' in both directions but they're mild and I know what to do, to get them back on track. It's so tempting to chase the hypo/manias but we all know where that ends and it isn't worth it.
  7. Thank you, Floor. Things really can and do get better. I attempted suicide twice long ago and became suicidal many times since; dragged myself through years of long, dark days and nights, and countless hospitalizations and med trials, but I can honestly say I am *happy* now and life is good, so good. Full of beautiful people to meet, interesting things to do and the mental health cause to fight for. I keep taking the meds, practising gratitude and doing the self-care; life is way too wonderful to screw it up, by stopping. I love myself and my life and I have a purpose and a role to play here in the world, now. Please, everyone, don't ever give up. Never stop searching for the meds, therapy, activities, and people that clear the clouds away for you. Love and light to everyone in darkness. Help is coming and we're waiting for you, out here in the sunshine.
  8. Ten years after Hi all – especially to anyone still here, who may remember me. I was really touched, that 10 years after I said goodbye to the forum, my username and account are still active. That is so sweet of you folks. A few turbulent up and downs at times, since 2008; the nature of bipolar. But for the last 4 years or so, good, stable times, on the right medication. I sold most of my worldly possessions three years ago, moved countries (went home after 43 years), have almost finished studies for a new qualification and will be setting up in my own business. Who would have dreamed, 10 years ago, that I’d have able to get to this? Certainly not me. I identify less and less as bipolar now, and more as all the other sides of me. I tend to let people get to know me thoroughly first, before I tell them, if it’s even relevant. When I do let them know, they’re very surprised and say, “I’d never have thought it” - and what does that tell you??? Stigma is alive and well. What, we can’t just be ordinary folks with ordinary lives? Why would you “never have thought it”, if you didn’t have some screwed up concept of what people with bipolar look like? We are all around you, neurotypicals, mwwwaaahhhhh, beware!! Time to educate and advocate again; it never ends, does it? There are some things I’d like to find like-minded people to chat about, hence my return. I’ll look around a bit and see if there are topics about them already, otherwise I’ll start new ones. I’m hellishly busy, as the final exams early next year begin to loom large already, but I need people I can talk with about stuff those around me irl, aren’t able to. Maybe I can be useful, too. Hi again, folks.
  9. Hello Moonlightress, I really would love to speak to you regarding some posts you made in september 08 regarding taking effexor and buproprion together and how that worked for you and how you are going?? regards

  10. Thanks again, folks, you're dear. Trace or Sheepwoman, would you close this topic and/or move it to a back page? Ciao
  11. I feel I owe several people here a last farewell before I slip out. I want to say thank you to all those who have been so kind over the past many months. I wish you well and "good roads, good weather". I hung around here a bit after my last post, but my heart's just no longer in it. - Mltrs
  12. I feel I must add the following information, for the sake of others visiting this topic (now, or in the future) who are thinking of self-modifying their Wellbutrin (bupropion, Zyban, Budeprion) dosage. Caveat: In NO way do I want to put anyone off bupropion. I'm on it, safely, myself. Bupropion is well known for its capacity to lower the seizure threshold, i.e. increase the risk of seizures. In fact, it was previously approved by the FDA in higher recommended doses than now, and then taken OFF the market because of numerous occurrences of seizures. It was subsequently re-evaluated by GlaxoSmithKline who learned that the risk of seizures is highly dose-dependent and it received re-approval by the FDA, in lower recommended doses, because of its potential benefits for several conditions. That is part of its history and is public knowledge. Bupropion also has a number of contra-indications (CIs), listed in the package insert as
  13. After I came back from hospital (for mania) a few weeks ago, I found things had been done in my house, that I have no recollection of doing, yet they were clearly done by me. Even now (about a month later) I am still finding things I did just before admission, which I don't remember doing. I was obviously extremely busy. The two days before I went in, are a blur to me, and I had to go around asking people what I did/said. Fortunately they were not too far out of character, just not quite as reserved as I might normally be. Is it common to have memory blanks when manic? I get very unnerved when I can't remember what I've done...
  14. Ah, Ok, I'm with you now. This is extremely individual. Theoretical therapeutic plasma levels are also only guestimates. I was on 300mg SR, and still needed it augmented with Efexor, but now I only need 150mg XL. Others need 300mg/day. It is customary to do 150mg/day for a few weeks then build to 300mg if no adequate response. Very hard to wait for if you're desperate for a response! - but the brain needs time to adjust) My podoc said he'd go to 450mg if needed, but that's here in South Africa and may not be approved elsewhere. Countries vary a lot in what they consider safe. (manufacturing practices vary from country to country) (Other examples: Several people here are on 300mg of Lamictal, my pdoc considers 200mg to be the highest he'll prescribe. Some are on 300mg of Efexor, I was fine on 75mg/150mg for years. Depends on the other features of your depression, and any co-morbid conditions: all depressions are not the same. And all of the above was to say: I don't know :) But maybe others will reply with their experiences. I bumped the other thread mainly because of the "honeymoon effect" many have reported : good response at first, then a lull, then slow build back up to effectiveness (I didn't have that, another difference).
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