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Everything posted by Kyle

  1. So the past 3 days have been completely crappy for me. It was probably the worst Thanksgiving I've ever had as well. Basically it started the day before thanksgiving with my brother coming down from our dads house to see my mom. I don't get along with him a single bit (thats a different story though), and it stems from his total disrespect for my mom and utter laziness and no care for what happens to the house or anyone in it. So I had to put up with him the past 3 days. Then on Thanksgiving my mom was drunk nearly the whole day, this caused her to get a short temper and sleep and cry most the day when most people were cooking food. So I ended up having to force my mom out of bed and help her with the food so we could have Thanksgiving dinner at a decent hour. Which we ended up having at around 9pm. Then today my brother all the sudden decides he wants to go home early. He was suppose to stay till Sunday but for some reason decides he wants to go home today. This upset my mom since she hadn't seen him in about a month. And typical of my brother, shows no care and as always thinks only of himself and what would make him happy not caring if it hurts other people, even his own mother. He doesn't understand why my mom was crying. I mean I'll see my dad in about 20 years, but that doesn't mean I don't want to see him any in between. Plus I got a speeding ticket today which didn't help me much either. I got home from work about 2 hours ago. And my mom is lying in bed crying. I find out that its because I HAD A SISTER I never knew about and died before I was born. I guess she would have been 22 years old today. My mom said it never bothered her this much, but this year its really upset her. All these happenings made me ask my mom if I could go with her to her counselor next week (not the AA one). I've only been to a counselor once and since I was in the room with my whole family (both parents, and both brothers) I didn't feel comfortable being too open, so it was a failed attempt. That was years ago. This time I'm going to try to be more open since it'll be just me and my mom. I'm not quite sure what I need to do or ask or say. So what is the best way to go about this?
  2. Ok, I take back the comment about old mothers. I'll say its MY mother that has seemed to loose it with old age. And the only problem with talking with my mom is that she doesn't listen. She doesn't want to listen. She doesn't want to admit shes wrong. Like after the cat cut her foot open, she started to walk around the house with a ****** foot getting blood on the carpet. Yet she denied it was her fault. Also she wouldn't admit that she was handling the pets roughly. Or when I mentioned when she shut the door on my head, she wouldn't admit that she did it, she claimed I wasn't in the doorway. Its like she thinks she's some high and mighty human that can do no wrong. Then will at times admit that shes been done wrong, but when I agree with her she gets mad and starts naming things I've done wrong. Last time checked she was still going through menopause. With the AA sponsor. I don't know if she has one. At these meetings I guess she sits there and talks to someone about stuff. Would that be her sponsor. I only know what she does because the place she goes to has some "family night" once a week that I've been to a couple times.
  3. Ok, so I hope this belongs since it has more to do with me than my mother. I've posted here a few times in the past about my mom being depressed and having severe mood swings, and how I found out this past summer that shes been an alcoholic for the past 3 years. Which she actually got help for her alcoholism and now goes to meetings 5 times a week. Well tonight after I got home from work I got into a pretty big fight with her. This past weekend I was out of town and when I got home Sunday, to my surprise my mom went out and randomly bought a dog. We don't need a dog! This is only two days after I hear my mom complaining about how she barely has enough to pay the mortgage and all that good stuff. First she buys a car for my brother hoping it would bribe him into staying in Florida with her ($5000 down the drain). Then she goes out and buys herself a Guinea Pig for her birthday, but really got it because she was depressed ($150 including cage and food down the drain). Now she goes out and buys a dog! She says it's for a companion for my disabled brother who's in a wheel chair and basically has a mind of a 1 year old and hes 13. Which is understandable, but she needs to save money first. So I'm already kind of mad at her about that. Anyways, I get home and shes practically pinning the dog to the floor, and plopping my brother on top of the dog. Now my brother was not a happy camper, he was aggravated and I could tell he just wanted to be put to bed. This went on with my brother mad and making noises, and the dog terrified because of my brothers loud noises. This goes on for about 20 minutes. I'm telling my mom to just do it another day, neither the dog or my brother were in the mood. She doesn't listen to me and just starts talking really loud for no reason what-so-ever. Then she starts to tell me how our cat (which is NOT happy at my mom or the dog) attacked the dog this morning. So she decides to pick the cat up and start handling it rough. So the cat gets mad at my mom, and brings out his claws and scratches my mom. Mom still won't let the cat go and starts pulling it towards her by its head and probably hurting it. Long story short, the cat scratches the crap out of my moms foot and cuts it open pretty good. To be honest she was asking for it. She then traps the cat in the laundry room with her and asks me to get a band-aid for her. Her back is leaning up against the door so I can barely push it open. I threw her the band-aid and she goes and pushes the door shut on my head. She then turns it around and tries to make it seem like its my fault. Then she gets up and walks around the house with a ****** foot, getting blood all over the carpet. When I yelled at her for that she gets mad at me. I told her I don't want to talk to her anymore, and she said "F**k you" then goes into her bedroom. Again I'm sorry if this doesn't belong here but I really needed to vent. Do you think this could be part of my moms depression or alcoholism. Or without trying to offend anyone, is it just part of what happens when mothers get old. It seems that all moms I know around my moms age start to loose their minds and start to think irrationally and have big mood-swings.
  4. I realize this has kind of turned into a relationship help thread, and sorry about that. But assuming I talk to the girl tomorrow, and it will be the first time I say something to her, would it be to much to ask them to go to lunch at the school cafateria. Or should I keep it to just a conversation the first time?
  5. The only problem I see with just going up to the girl and saying "Hi" right out of the blue is that I would think it would come off as weird. I think back in high school I did that only once, and I got a look from the person as if I was a looney that just escaped from the crazy bin. Ya know, one of those "don't talk to me looks" And your right about community college being kind of a commuter atmosphere. Like I go home after every class since I live 3 minutes from the college and I have an hour inbetween each class. I don't know if im thinking about this too hard or what, but I just really dont' want to be rejected or ignored, I really need some friends.
  6. My friends aren't really into camping, and a few of them have come down to visit me for the weekend, but thats not that often. Although today in my Western Civilization class I saw a girl that seems pretty nice, and seems to be interested in the same things as me. Like I said, I almost never go up to anyone and start random conversations. I feel like I would creep them out, or they would think im crazy or something. Im mainly just afraid of them telling me to go away, or ignoring me. But since waiting for people to come to me doesn't seem like its working i've decided to try and go up to someone else. How would I go about starting a conversation with this girl, would it just be like "So how about them bears?" What would be good converstation starters? I've thought about gradually building it up like asking for a pencil, then asking to see their notes, then asking if they understand what was said in class, ect. How do I do this without seeming like a weirdo?
  7. Well I don't ge along with my brother at all and hes the closest to my age. I have two cousins that I would hang out with if it weren't for the fact that they live in Wisconson. And literally ALL of my family lives in Illinois, Michigan, or Wisconson. The only people that live near me are my dad who lives about two hours away, which is where all my friends I made in high school live (which I see them every other weekend). So I don't have any family thats around my age. When I mentioned clubs I was just using an example kind of. Im not saying I would never go to one, but even if I had a friend with it certainly wouldn't be my first choice for activites to do, it just doesn't seem like something I would be interested in. But then again i've never tried. And I wouldn't say giving up my job is a big sacrafice, it is far from the house and it doesn't pay a whole lot, when I could be a lot more at other places. What keeps me there is my boss, hes really good with being flexible with my schedule and I need that with school and having to take care of my disabled brother (not the one I mentioned earlier). Its like a catch-22 for me. When im by myself im not too outgoing, I guess I feel vulnerable. But if im with friends i'm a little more outgoing I guess because I feel like I have someone to fall back on. I guess that would be the right saying.
  8. So i've made a few threads here about my mom and family. Well this one is about me and doesn't really involve anyone but me. So im 19 and i've lived here in Florida with my mom for nearly a year. I've been through a Spring semester at the local community college, and one class in the summer, and have just started my Fall semester. And have had the same job since November, in which I am the only 19 year old. Everyone else is either 16 or 25 and older. I tried making friends with one of the 16 year olds, but they had to quit because they were too far from work, and although I had talked to them after they quit. They got another job and that combined with high school has kept them very busy. Now I think I might be becomeing depressed because I still don't have any friends. I've been feeling real lonely lately. I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, I almost never start conversations, but can keep one going if someone talks to me first. Like today, I got off school at noon, and didn't have work. So I sat at home all day, and then tonight I literally just drove around in the car for an hour because I was so bored and didn't have any friends to do things with. I felt like im going to be like this the rest of my life, since every friend i've ever made was because of elementry and high school. And now that im not in those anymore I can't seem to make friends. I don't know how to make friends outside of school. I've tried to go to places where I would have a chance of meeting people. Such as the bookstore, but every time I go there its a bunch of kids reading japanese comic books and old people reading military books. Its really the only place in town that interests me, since everywhere else is a club and I wouldn't want to go to those by myself. What should I do? Is there a type of counselor I could talk to? Has anoyone else been in a situation like mine? What did you do to get out of it? Could I try getting a different job (might need a different one anyways) I need help, I need friends.
  9. I hope this thread isn't too dead. I just got back from that vacation I was talking about, last week. And I just rememberd I made a thread here. And since I was on vacation I didn't get to make any calls. But I do have a list with Social Services for help with my disabled brother and ACoA for helping me deal with my moms alcohalism. And I still have to talk to my dad about the counselor. Also my mom mentioned again today that she has to sell this house, but she can't afford to move. And when we go to visit a college i've been looking at, she said she also wants to go out and look at houses. Meaning when I move she wants to follow me and have me live with her. I told her I don't want her to do that, and she took it as I hate her, and don't want to be around her, and that im abandoning her. I think shes planning on living with me from now until the day she dies. The next time she does something like this, should I just explain to her that I want to live on my own, I know you guys have said don't feel guilty. But is just saying mom im ready to live on my own now enough? Update here, just looked for an ACoA meeting near me, and I aparently they don't have one. What now?
  10. Ok, so I only made a thread about two days ago so I hope im not annoying anyone. I've had enough of this, im sick and tired of putting up with my moms depression. Im tired of putting up with her constant badmouthing my dad right in front of me with no shame. Im tired of her complaining about how she thinks shes fat. Im tired of her constantly talking about her "ex-boyfriend" (I quote because I don't know if they are still together or not). Im tired of her saying she has no one to take care of my disabled brother even though my dad has offered multiple times to take my disabled brother into his house, only to have my mom decline. Im tired of my mom blamming everything thats wrong in her life on my dad. Im tired of her not seeking help. Im tired of not having hte normal, healthy, careing mom I use to have as a kid. Im sick and tired of not being able to sleep because im constantly worrying about my mom and the things shes said. And then after finding out almost two weeks ago that shes an alcoholic, after she promised me she wouldn't have another drink, I found a small bottle of alcohol under the front seat of the car today, and dumped it out right in front of her. Only to have her get mad at me, and I asked her why did she ask me to help her when all shes gonna do is get mad at me when I do help. Well she just ignored that question and tried to come up with a terrible excuse to why she has a right to drink. Im sick and tired of all of this, I love my mom to death, but im at the point where I just want to run away, or just burst out and scream at her. I feel like im on the verge of a breakdown myself, I feel like her constant depression is going to make me depressed. Im getting way to stressed out, I can't think about my future and how im going to get into the school I want. All I can think about is all the things wrong with my mom. Now a few of you have given me suggestions on organizations to call that can help or what have you. But i'll be honest, I haven't actually looked into any of them. I don't know why, I guess its because my mom always seems to get better. But I know its not better, their will always be the times when shes depressed, these problems won't go away just because shes fine for a few days. They will always be there. (correct me if im wrong on any of these things) I need to know who I can call. I know Social Services has been mentioned before to see about help for my disabled brother. And AA has been mentioned for my moms alcoholism. And this "ACA" (think that was the name) to help me deal with her alcoholism. And talking to my moms doctor has been suggested to tell him about what happens when my moms depressed (although I don't know who her doctor is, nor how to find out). I've also thought about a councelor for myself to help me get some things off my chest I can't tell my mom, and help me deal with her. I don't have any money, and im hopeing my dad will help me get to see a councelor, but I need suggestions on people to call. And services that can help. Preferably for little or no money.
  11. (Lizzy)"Is your mum taking meds? Are you able to speak to her doctor and let him/her know of this current state of her depression. He doesn't need to discuss her per se, but if you up-date him/her he can decide if your mum needs her meds altered or increased." I don't know exactly what shes taking, but she says she taking meds and nothing is working. She says her doctor has put her on nearly every medication for depression out there, and right now shes on some brand new stuff, but nothing is working. And I know my mom wouldn't want me to talk to her doctor. 1) I don't know who or where her doctor is. 2) My mom would probably feel like I was going behind her back or something. (Lizzy)"you will have plenty to pay out when you go to College: rent, books, travel, laundry and food ......... <ah memories :-) > Sat mornings in the launderette whilst hubby was in Lectures" Luckily my dad is gonna help with the major costs of college, but for some reason my mom is convinced that he doesn't want to pay for any of it. (Lizzy)"Are you in contact with your Dad? Suggest that your mum speaks to him about her statement, there may be maintenance issues that you are not aware of. If she mentions this again, tell her she can make the choice to live on the street or she can make the choice to move into a smaller property. But you have your plans which you intend to follow. Be strong!" Yea, I still talk to my dad, but I really don't think my mom would talk to him. Whenever my mom is depressed she constantly badmouths my dad, and basically says everything thats gone wrong in her life is my dads fault. She nearly doesn't talk to him anymore at all because she gets so upset. And she knows she needs to move into a smaller house, but she says she can't afford to move. Which im guessing means in order for her to get a smaller house, she would have to quit her job which she loves very very very much.
  12. Im sure a couple of you remember me, and how I have a mom thats severly depressed and she has to deal with a serverly disabled brother. Ok, well anyways. This coming monday me, my brother, my mom, and my uncle are going on a vacation. A vacation my mom desperatly needs (she hasn't had one in 6 years). Well these past few days her depression has kicked in pretty heavy. Today I went with my mom so she could drop something off at the doctor, and get some much needed groceries. Well during the drive around town she started talking about how she can't afford the house shes in and she can't afford to move. It then turned into how she wishes my brother still lived with her. I thought this was a little selfish since its my dads son also, although somewhat understandable since shes a mom. But I said "So are you going to be mopey and depressed when I go off to college and get my own house and own life". She said "im gonna have to move in with either you or your brother, or i'll be one of the old ladies on the street pushing a shopping cart around with all my belongings in it, I already have it planned out, i'll walk up and down the road, and sleep in the woods" And thats a near quote to what she really said. Now this made me feel kind of sorry for her, and wish their was something I could do for her. But I also don't think its really fair to me to have my mom live with me for the rest of her life. I think I deserve some independence when that time comes (which should be soon since im 19 and plan to go to real college within a year) I mean should I have to take care of my mom. I love her to death, but I don't know if I could put up with much more of her depression and mopeyness. And like all kids my age, I just want to get away from both my parents. Am I wrong for thinking this? I know parents do often move in with their kids when they get real old and either don't want to go into a nursing home or can't afford one. And I know it probably won't happen right when I get out of college. But still I think its unfair to me, and preventing me from living my own life. Should I talk to her about this or what, if it ever does happen, it'll be a long time from now. What should I do?
  13. KeepingAwake"I remember a little more about your situation now too. I was asking how old you were because I wasn't sure if you were a minor. If I remember corectly you are living at home and helping to care for your brother and you are going to school, right?" Yea thats me. Except right now im out of school for the first half of the summer. So I need to see if she'll go to AA again? And how would I find where one of these ACA places are where I live, would they be in the phone book or something?
  14. Im 19. The thing about the profesional help, is that she said AA didn't help, and shes not exactly rich either. She can't afford to get "profesional help". And my brother lives with our dad. He was on meds but for some reason my parents took him off the meds and won't put him back on, even if I tell them he needs to. There's really no help for my brother, he refuses to go to any theropy, and will start a fit if they take him to the doctor for his depression. My parents have done everything possible except bootcamp. Now I hope and don't think any of you are getting ideas that my mom needs to be taken away from us. Because shes a good mother, and never has drank around us. And I don't think shes a full blown drink everyday alcoholic, its just when she gets really depressed, still she needs help, I don't know what to do, and we can't exactly afford "professional help".
  15. Ok, i've made a couple other threads before asking for help on dealing with my moms depression and my family in which I seem to be the only sane one. Well basically my mom has severe depression, shes going through menapause, and she has a stubborn attitude. So basically shes a near impossible person to reason with. And on top of that one of my brothers is depressed and it takes the form of exteme violence and anger, the type you would almost see on Maury or something, and my youngest brother is severly disabled. So this past weekend I went to my dads house, and I guess sometime over the weekend when my mom was by herself her depression kicked in again. When I got home sunday I found a Guinea Pig in the kitchen, I asked my mom why is there a Guinea Pig in the kitchen, and she said she bought it but it was a stupid thing to do. So were trying to sell that thing, and im thinking the depression was kind of the reason she bought it. And now about 15 minutes ago my mom told me she has a drinking problem, and shes an alcoholic, and has been since she moved to the house shes in now, which is about 3-4 years. I don't think the fact of it has set in yet because I really don't know what to think, im not angry like I thought I would be, I just don't have any feeling about it. She's been doing a good job of hiding it though, since shes never drank in front of me or the other kids, although last week I came home from work one day and she was trying to plug the cell phone charger into the bottom of our normal house phone. She said she was sleep walking but I sniffed this glass of "water" she had and it smelled like rubbing alcohol. I didnt' think much of it and dumped it and she went to bed. Tonight she told me shes already tried AA and it didn't help and some of the people there were really mean and disgusting. We don't have any alcohol in the house either, but she asked me to help her with this. Me and my uncle (her brother) are the only ones that know. But if AA didn't help her I have no clue how I should help her, I don't know who to call, or what to do. She said she wants my help, and said she'll give me the money to buy groceries and stuff so she doesn't get alcohol. But I don't know if I could do that all the time. That might be too much for just me to do all the time. Please I need some advice.
  16. The thing is, my mom is or was seeing a counselor. But I dont' know what she saw the lady about. And I told her I wanted to see one, and she took it as I wanted to see one because of the divorce, and she tried to put the blame on my dad. But I want to see a counselor about her, and how I need to deal with her. But from what I can tell this little "breakdown" of hers today/last night was caused by something that her BF did that she didn't like. And she became depressed because she thinks her boyfriend doesn't want to be with her. And then she makes it worse on herself by saying shes gonna die alone and no one loves her.
  17. I know there are programs out there that can help my brother but I don't pay the bills, so I can't decide for him, my mom would have to do that, since shes protective of my disabled brother and barely lets dad make any decisions on what to do with him. And I have told my mom that I want to see a counselar and she said that was fine, but again she never went through with it, and my dad didn't mind either. But my mom just never found a counselor for me. And then she also wanted to know what I would talk to the counselor about, and I couldn't say her, because she would take offense to it. I don't think shes taken her depression medicine lately either. A few hours ago she came home from work and went to sleep on the couch. Im just getting tired of this depression getting a hold of her, and preventing her from taking care of us like she should be. Not implying that she needs to be cleaning and cooking all the time.
  18. Let me clearify the living arrangments. My dad lives an hour and a half away from me. Up until August I lived with my dad for three years. And both my brothers lived with my mom. Then in August I moved to my moms house, to go to the community college there, adn help her take care of my disabled brother. And my other brother moved in with my dad. Its not like I never talk to my dad, or my dad doesn't want anything to do with us. I still tlak to him and go to see him whenever im not working on weekends. Hes like hes always been, I just don't see him as much. Just as if I was living on my own. Now my mom isn't like this all the time, shes pretty normal during the day, but it seems once things slow down, around night time she starts to say things that she doesn't mean. I dont' know if that means she's been holding it in or what. And she only seems to have these really violent outburst maybe once every other month. Other than that it seems like insane blabbering. And about the art classes. Just as art.chick said, I don't think my mom fully understands what it is I want to do. I am going to school for computer animation, and she knows what it is, but I don't think she quit understands that you can make a good living off of doing it. And I did talk to her a while back and said next semester im taking all art classes cause it would be best for my future, and she said thats fine. So hopefully she'll let me. But since she has one more year of college than my dad, she thinks all the sudden shes and an expert on all things college and thinks its almost vital that I take phsycology and history, and a whole bunch of math classes. And I don't think she was serious about me moving out of the house either. And I wouldn't want to move out anyways, she needs help taking care of my brother right now. And my dad has asked her if she would want my disabled brother to live with him for a while, and she just says no. But then later turns around and says he wants nothing to do with my brother. So im not going ot move out of the house, or run away, that would really upset my mom, and most the time I can stand living with her. Its just sometimes I get to the breaking point where im ready to just yell at her. But thats not the best thing to do. Its nearly impossible to talk to my mom about anything, shes a very stubborn person, and always has been. Once she gets an idea in her head, that she thinks is right, nothing is going to change her mind, and if shes proven wrong she gets kind of angry. She doesn't even listen to her own brother, whom she holds in the highest regards. About her BF I think you hit the nail on the head about that one. I've talked to my dad about how to handle all of this, and he says he doesn't know what to do. When they were still married he tried to talk to her or deal with her but she didn't want help, or just wouldn't listen. I have a feeling that what it comes down to is, my dad is married and shes not. And shes jealous, at least thats what me and my uncle have observed. I think when my parents first got divoriced, my mom kind of was on a race to get married before my dad. Well it didnt' turn out like that, and my dad is happy and shes not. When to her it was suppose to be the other way around. I just want to know if my mom has a mental disease or if her mind is just worn out or what. I don't know how I would talk to a doctor since im guessing that would cost money, and I dont' have much at all. Sometimes I feel like crying or running away but I know that would only make things worse.
  19. Im 19 years old, male, and just started a community college this past January. I use to live with my dad, and now I live with my mom, and have since August. Well, im getting scared that my moms mental health is failing. No I don't mean memory lose. I think shes going crazy, or getting paranoid or something. My mom has a severe case of depression and crys a lot. And on top of this shes going through menapause right now, and has a son that is severly disabled, he can't see or hear very well, he can't walk or talk, and is 13 and has the mental capacity of a 2 year old. I have another brother that is supposivly depressed, and has severe violence issues. But today I came home from work at about 10:00pm and she was laying on the couch with my disabled brother, talking to someone on the phone, I noticed her knee was scraped bad and was bleeding, I asked her about it and she said she would tell me later. A little while later I put my brother to bed, and she then says she needs to go on the computer, which is in my room. I went out to the living room, and noticed a blood spot on the rug, and told her. And she said "whats your point" like it was a hostile comment. I then went and cleaned up the blood spot. She then comes out to the living room and says, "why are you cleaning that all the sudden?" "why don't you go ahead and clean the rest of hte house while your at it!" (and this was 10:30 at night). Then out of no where she says "im leaving this town, Kyle, your gonna have to get an apartment" Now I barely make any money, and defiently not enough to afford my own appartment, and I cna't work much because I have college im going to. I don't know why she said these things, but all the sudden me trying to clean the carpet is an offensive thing to do to her. And just earlier today, she acted like she use to before she was depresed, I think that was because I had a friend over at the time. This isn't the only time something like this has happened. On more than one occasion she wakes up in the middle of the night and starts telling me weird things. Like, my father hates my brother, which isn't true at all, my dad isn't one of those people that left us or anything. He pays child support, he still sees us, heck my brother even lives with him. Other times, she's come out the to kitchen at maybe 11pm and gotten something to eat. I asked her a simple harmless question "what are you doing?" and she freaked out and gave me this 2 hour long lecture on how she should be able to do what she wants without question. Or another time I was trying to hang a curtain rod in my brothers room, and my mom had me go out and buy an electric drill about a week prior. So we find out you needed a drill bit to hang the curtain rod. And electric drills don't come with drill bits, they come with screw heads. Well she freaked out and started going off and saying "F*** you Kyle! F*** Kyle!!" "No one loves me, I could take my life right now and no one would care!" and then she put the tip of a decorative sword of my brothers underneath her chin and said "you want me to **** myself right now, cause i'll do it!". And all this was over a drill bit, and simple stinkin drill bit, that during all the yelling, I went to the home depot and bought for 75 cents. No I dont' think my moms suicidel, i've asked her brother, her best friend, her sister, and none of them say she'll **** herself. Which I dont' think she will, but why does she threaten to **** herself. She also has this "boyfriend" I really dont' know what he is, because it seems each week hes something different. Like last week he was a "good friend" and this week hes her boyfriend. And whenever he invites her somewhere, or says he'll care her at say 5, if he doesn't call the second it turns 5 o'clock. My mom starts freaking out and getting depressed and saying that no one loves her, and "hes and a**hole" and then at 5:05 he calls, and shes calm again. She comes to me everytime she wants to complain about him, and I dont' want to hear it, i dont' know what to say. And sometimes she comes into my room and waked me up at 2 in the morning and complains to me about this guy. I also have a feeling she has major seperation issues with her kids. Such as im going to a computer animatiion school in Orlando, Florida and when she found out, she told me I have to first go to a community college for two years. And she won't let me take the classes I need to take to get me prepaired for this school. Which the school has suggested take as many art classes as possible, but my mom is making me take other classes that wont help me at all. I have the feeling shes trying to delay my going off to college as long as possible, and not to sound selfish, I think she could ruin my future plans by holding me back like this. Shes always complaing about how my dad doesn't wants nothing to do with my youngest brother (the disabled one) but my dad has asked my mom that if she wanted, he would let my youngest brother live with him, since he has a wife now, and its easier to take care of my brother with two people, as opposed to my mom being one person. But she says no, and then she turns around and says that dad wants nothing to do with my brother. She can't take care of my brother forever, but she never asks for help when trying to do things with him. She automatically assums that no one will help her, but she never asks for help, she just ups and does it without asking for help. But she stills complains. I love my mom to death, and am really scared that her mental health is almost gone. Shes not herself anymore, shes no like she use to be when I was a kid. I don't know what to do, I have a feeling being around her like this is going to make me depressed. I don't know what to do, I can't stand it anymore, I can't ask her to get help because she'll take offense to it and think everyones out to get her. Right now shes fallen asleep on the couch with the phone in her hand, and a ****** knee. She doesn't even care enough to take care of herself. I don't know if this made my mom sound like a bad person, because shes not, shes one of the nicest most caring people I know, but shes not herself anymore and I dont' know what to do, please help.
  20. Ok I think I know what your talking about now. My mom has mentioned stuff before about getting medi-care for my brother but it always ends up with complaining about my brother not getting the money he's suppose to and how the money always ends up going to people that don't need it. I don't know if this has to do with Social Services or not but I suppose i'll give them a call. And when is this metapause suppose to end. Already in my moms moodyness shes broken one of our phones and had a break down. And with this combined with depression its really hard on my mom and me.
  21. Actually I unfortunatly don't go to church that offten. And since I moved to Florida ive only been to the church my mom goes to once. And since my mom just started going to this church I don't even know if the priest knows who she is, and since the priest is blind I don't think that helps much either in knowing who she is. So this social services, when I call them what should I tell them. Should it basically say my brother is disabled and my mom is depressed, I need help. Or what? Just give me an idea of what questions I should ask and will this cost any money. Thanks a lot for all this help though, ive just gotten really desperate and need the help badly. And sorry if my first post was a lot to read.
  22. My mom did tell me that she's seeing a theropist but I don't know if she stills goes to the lady. She also told me she can't help how moody she is since shes been going through this menopause. But how long does it last? My mom knows more about my disabled brother getting help. Since I don't pay the bills and all, but I do think were getting some form of medi-care when it comes to buying medicine and stuff. Oh and we live in Panama City Beach, Florida. And the only time my mom gets a break is when my dad takes him every other weekend. My dad has offered to have my disabled brother live with him since he has a wife and they can help each other lift him and give him a batch and such and give my mom a much needed break. But my mom has an extreme attachment to him and doesn't want to give him up. The part that bothers me is that my mom complains how she has no one to help her with my disabled brother but my dad has offered to have my brother live with him. Yea my mom doesn't like it down here in the south. Since we've lived here in the south I have made regular returns to Illinois to visit friends and family but since my mom has to work she hasn't been able to come with. My mom has made plans on serveral occasions to visit friends and family up north but for some reason they always fall apart and she ends up going no where. She has this one best friend of hers thats shes known since high school that lives up in Chicago. But since we've moved down here my mom hasn't talked to her much. Ive even tried calling this lady to but shes super hard to get a hold of and has problems with her phone. But my mom for some reason sees this as her friend doesn't want to talk to her but I try to tell her it doesn't mean anything. But my mom doesn't listen and now refuses to call any of her family and friends, except for her brother. She now says that her friends have to make an effort to call her. This of course gets her upset and my uncle and I don't know what to do. Everyone knows my middle brother has major issues. Even our next door neighbor knew the first time he heard my brother talk to my mom that he needed help. My best friend that ive known since I was 5 has said he needs boot camp or something. Everyone knows he needs help but no one does anything. And when he talks bad to my mom it really really gets my blood boiling but ive learned that it only hurts my mom further if I yell at my brother or try and stop him, so ive had to control myself and try to ignore it. Am I alowed to call social services at and ask what they can do at my age, even if I don't pay any of the bills and have no knowlege of the money in my family. Thats the type of info I prefer not to know about. Basically what can they do to help us. Also is it normal for people to spend money on unnessesary things when depressed. Such as my mom bought me and my brother this $1500 computer, now at first it was unnessesary but now my career choice has almost made it nessesary. But my mom also bought my brother this Cadillac for my brother so he could have a car. Now the car only cost $5000 since it was used but everyone told her that she doesn't need to buy the car. She bought it because my brother has this rediculous thing where he says he refuses to drive any car thats american except for a Cadillac. He's said the only cars he will ever want to drive must be German or Japanese, now were not rich enough to do this for him and I think its a really stupid mind set. So then about a month after my mom bought the car my brother moves up and lives with my dad (In Alabama if i didn't mention before) and I moved down here with my mom in florida. Now we have this Cadillac sitting here and its needless payments my mom has to make, me and her brother have said she needs to sell it and she says shes going to sell it but she never gets around to it and now its starting to have problems with the battery, so we have to fix that before we sell it and its just adding up to more and more usesless money put into the car. I might have strayed away from the point but is it normal for depressed people to spend money like this, its almost as if my mom thinks if she doens't buy things for us that we'll hate her and thats definetly not true.
  23. This might get long so please bear with me. I need the help Im 18 and will be starting community college in Janurary. And then about a year from now I will leave to go off to college in Orlando. My mom is really depressed and it scares me sometimes and makes me sick to my stomach. My mom and dad are divoriced and I have two brothers. My youngest brother is severly disabled and is stuck in a wheel chair, and can't walk or talk, and can see next to nothing and can't hear very well. He has the mental ability of a 2 year old and hes 12. My middle brother has big problems also. Hes one of those kids that you would see on Maury that needs to go to boot camp. He cuses at my mom, he has threatened her, hes really really lazy and doesn't help my mom at all, hes said he wants to **** me, and he generally a really hateful person and thinks only of himself. Which needless to say I don't get along with him 99% of the time. Its a good thing he lives with my dad and not me. And as you probably guessed, this stresses my mom out enormously. From what I can remember my moms depression started way back when we first moved to Alabama from Illinois. My dad got laid-off and we had no choice but to move way down here in the south. It just started going down hill from there. Up north we had friends, relatives and really liked the place. But that all got flushed down the toilet. And it got worse and worse the longer we were in the south. Eventually my mom and dad got divorced, which was something I thought would never happen, but it did. But my mom didn't seem to be depressed at the time. Then a few years later my dad gets married, and this upset my mom because according to her the divorice is my dads fault. And she doesn't want him to be happy anymore. And shes constantly talking bad about my dad and of course I don't like this and she knows she shouldnt be saying the things she does, but she says them anyways and then tells me shes sorry. Like one time my mom was talking to my dad about picking up my middle brother so he can come and visit my mom when in the background she heard my dads wife talking to my grandma about a lawyer. This got my mom paranoid and now she thinks that my dads wife is after his money and wants my youngest brother taken away from her so my dad doesn't have to pay child support, which would mean more money for her. I know this isn't true but my mom is a difficult person. Once she gets an idea in her head its impossible to change it and she won't listen to anyone even if she knows shes wrong, she won't admit it. So now she doesn't trust anything my dad says because she thinks its my dads wifes words coming out of his mouth. Like recently shes been convinced that my dad won't pay for my college, when by law he has to, and I asked him and he said he would pay for it. I told my mom and naturally she doesn't believe it. Now on to my mom and my middle brother. My mom needs serious help around the house, such as cleaning, and taking care of my youngest brother. My middle brother doesn't help one single bit. Like mom will ask him to put the dishes in the dish washer. Nothing serious just a simple 5 minute job, but he refuses to do it and argues with her. So I don't know why but my mom will then let him go back to playing his video games, and then has me do it. I guess its because my mom is afraid to make him mad, because my mom is terrified that he will say he hates her, which he has done. I think thats the same reason she doesn't punish him anymore when ever he cuses at her or refuses to do something. Shes afraid that he will tell dad that he doesn't want to see mom ever again. And unknown to her hes already said that, and said that when she dies he won't care and wont' go to her funeral. Luckily my dad convinced him to continue to go to her house. My mom also needs help carrying my youngest brother. And since hes disabled its like trying to carry 100lb dead weight. Now my mom is getting up there in age and is in her 50's I think (she won't tell me), and she can't be carrying 100lb's every day. But my brother refuses to help in simple things like moving my brother from the floor to the couch. He has to make a big deal about it and then goes back to playing his video games which he literally plays 15 hours every single day, no exhageration. This stuff obvioulsy stresses my mom out and causes her to cry. My middle brother then goes up to my mom and yells at her and ask "what the f**k are you crying about!" or "Im sick of this s**t!". Now what angers me about this is the lack of respect my brother gives my mom and the fact that my mom does nothing about it. I know it hurts her inside but she continuously does nothing and pretends it never happens. Its gotten so bad that I myself have offered to pay for him to go to boot camp, but my mom refuses and then gets angry at me and trys to blame me for it when I have done nothing. Now about my youngest brother. He was born December 2nd and got sick on christmas eve, what nice christmas present that was. This obviously really messed up the family and saddend my mom greatly, and to this day she blames herself for my brother getting sick. As I said earlier my brother is basically 100lb's of dead weight and my mom is getting to old to lift him all the time. And of course my brother helps zero. I help when I can and wouldn't like to do it but I dont complain because I know it makes things easier on my mom. Well, I suppose i'll tell you what happens when my mom gets depressed now. When my mom gets depressed it really saddens me and makes me sick to my stomach. Its gotten so bad before that one time I didn't have a drill bit to drill ***** in the wall so we could hang a curtain and my mom freaked out and started yelling at me and my brother. Of course my brother started cusing at my mom and then my mom took it out on me. I told her all I have to do is run to the store and buy a 75 cent drill bit and everything will be fine. But she didn't listen and one thing lead to another and the conversation turned into how no one likes her and she should just **** herself. So then she did something that almost made me cry. She took this decorative sword my brother had and she put the tip of it under her chin and told me "Do you want me to **** myself right now!" " I could do it and no one would care!" I told her it wasn't true. She threw the sword down and got in her car and took a drive. I got in mine and went to the store and bought the drill bit and hung the curtains all before she got back. I didn't understand why she got so upset over such a mundain thing. This type of thing seems to happen quite a bit. Maybe not that severly but there is times when my mom will just start complaining about something or how none of her relative or friends call her and then she busts out crying and doing what she normally does and says that she wishes she could die. It did get pretty bad again the week before Thanksgiving. Aparently she ran out of medicine and was in one constant depression state for about an entire week where she was crying almost 24/7. She didn't even go grocery shopping for almost 3 weeks when literally the only thing we had in the fridge was Water, milk, and some sauces of the sorts. She gave me some money and I got a few things myself but it only lasted a couple days. We were literally starving because my mom was depressed and couldn't go out anywhere. Also she likes to go for walks and sometimes ask if I want to go. I really don't because walking doesn't interest me and somtimes she brings up conversations about girls which is embarassing to talk to her about. But to make her happy I try not to complain and go with her anyways. Now everythign seems to be going fine on these walks but then all of the sudden out of no where she'll tell me "You don't want to be here do you?" I tell her I do and I don't mind going for a walk but she just goes off and says "Ya know what, just go home and leave me alone, everyone else has!" I don't know what to say so I just keep walking with her. So I don't know if I mentioned this earlier but my mom did get this boyfriend that I actually liked. But the day after thanksgiving my mom started acting real moody and again depression kicked in and she was crying and saying we don't have a lot of money, and no one loves her, and she has no one to rely on, and she has no friends, and she wants to die. Then her boyfriend called and they were talking and then my mom got kind of defensive, this has happened before but it usually ends well. Then last night they were talking again but it turned into somethign and my mom started getting moody and depressed again and started crying. Well apparently my mom was planning on going to church the next day and then afterwards inviting her boyfriend and me and his son to breakfast. I said I would go but I guess her boyfriend said that he wasn't going to eat tomorrow and he had things that needed to be done. Well for some reason my mom took this as he doesn't want to be with her and doesn't want to see her again so she was mean to him and hung up on him. Then she started feeling bad and she told me that she loves him and asked me what she should do. I told her to call back and say your sorry. So she called him back but the phone was busy. Now since he has a son that likes to go on the internet its not suprising. But with my mom being depressed she took it as he was on the internet and didn't want to talk to her anymore. So she took that as they were broken up. Then she started having a panic attack and crying uncontrolably and saying she doesn't want to loose him. I went to bed not knowing what to do. But I guess during the night she left and went to his house to try and fix things. So I guess she did fix things somewhat and explained to him what she was going through. Then today she told me that the reason shes been so moody lately is because shes going through medapause (I think I spelled that right). Now from what I understand women get real moody and emotional and can no longer have a kid. So aparently she told her boyfriend this and she got upset and said that he doens't like her anymore because he didn't call to ask if she was alright. Now I know he went to church and just because he doesnt' call right away doesn't mean anything. I tried telling her that but she wouldn't listen. Then later on tonight I talked to her and she said they were through and over with. I don't see how that was possible, but she said it was because she was an a-hole to him. And I told her all you have to do is appologize and explain what going on. Of course she didn't listen and now she has some things that he gave her on the kitchen table and she says she's getting rid of them. Now I don't want them to split because my mom needs some form of happyness in her life and I really think shes blowing things out of proportion. This is one thing I need help with for the sake of my moms well-being. Should I call her boyfriend and ask him to come over and talk with my mom or ask him to call my mom or something. Because my mom really needs someone, she feels alone and is constantly sad. I know this is a really really really long post and its probably been the longest ive ever typed (almost two hours now). But I need help very badly. Ive gotten so desperate to find help for my mom that ive written to the Oprah show. I don't watch Oprah but I need to do something. My next stop is writing to this home makeover show my mom watches and im going to ask them if they can make our house accecable for my brother and his wheel chair. I know its a dumb thing to do but as you can tell, im trying anything now. When my mom cries I get upset myself, I don't cry but I feel sick to my stomach and I get scared, I just want to run away from this whole place and have nothing to do with anyone. I can't see my mom like this anymore. I want her back to the way she use to be. When she didn't have poor mental health, when she didn't look so stressed out, when she would actually make sence in her actions, when she would only cry if she got hurt of someone died. I want to know what should I do to cope with this problem my mom has and what can I do to help her. I don't want to see her like this anymore. Thank you.
  24. Im proud to say im a christian, but unfortunatly I don't go to church like I should.
  25. i don't smoke, never tried smoking of any kind, and don't ever plan on smoking. I do know people that smoke but I try not to hang around them.
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