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siwolfe's Achievements


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  1. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  2. Depakote did that for me, made me gain 50lbs, (I've since worked it off - took over 9 months!) like you said I just kept eating, it was like I never got full! Carbs were the worse. I'm still on Depakote, but not gaining weight anymore, thank goodness. The weight gain was terrible, made me horribly depressed all the time. I hope it goes well with your new psychiatrist.
  3. I'm supposed to be taking a new drug, Saphris. But after I found out that it is brand new, (just got approved by the FDA in August 2009) I don't want to take it. Thing is, my appt with my pdoc is two weeks away, to see how I'm doing on it. Well now I'm very nervous and anxious about having to tell her that I haven't been taking it and that I don't want to take it. I don't think I'm going to make it two weeks. I'm so worried about telling her. I'm the type that doesn't like to make waves and upset people, well unless I'm going through a manic cycle. Is it bad to wish for a manic episode so I can tell her without being anxious? I hate stuff like this. I've been having a bad couple of weeks anyway with anxiety, feel like I'm about to explode. It's like I can't catch my breath. Anyway, hope you all are doing well, thanks for listening.
  4. Hi all, I was wondering how all of you are doing on Saphris now, since these posts, and if you're still on it. My pdoc wants to put me on it, to try it. I'm currently on Abilify, along with Depakote, Lithium and Wellbutrin. She wants to replace my Abilify with the Saphris. I'm a little concerned because if I've read right, it was only just approved in August 2009? Anyway another thing I was wondering is does it make you drowsy the next day? Thanks so much for your help with this!
  5. I'm SO sorry that you have to go through this. I've also cried at work, and it's the WORSE thing ever! So mortifying. And it's not like you can save it up for a break time and do it then, it's just uncontrollable reaction to the moment, it just bursts forth. And of course they don't know you have a reason for this. Since I've been on meds though it's not happened, I still cry, but I seem to be able to wait until I'm alone and at the end of the day. Are you on any meds? Anyway, just know that we are here for you and know what you're going through, sorry I couldn't be of more help.
  6. I have chronic depression (BPII), with VERY few episodes of mania. I know it's wrong, but I LONG for the mania side. Forget being normal, I have no idea what that is, I'm either in a deep depression or in a tizzy. When you're in the depressed cycle it's like you're a zombie - barely able to get the barest necessities done. Right now I'm in depressed mode because the PDoc lowered my Lithium and Depakote, (my hair keeps falling out). Guess I'm going to have to go bald, or stay badly depressed forever. Seems like it's always a juggle, doesn't it. I'm sorry you're having more episodes of depression, hopefully it's not for long.
  7. I did one a couple of months ago, and hated it. All it did was remind me of all my problems. I'm more of a keep moving ahead and forget the past type of person. I really should do one, I guess, it's for my benefit I know, but it's just so hard to look back and see the bad days. It makes me even more depressed, to see I'm not doing well. By the way I've been reading and what does pdoc mean? Psychiatrist?
  8. I used to have a hard time convincing myself that manic episodes are bad. I have bipolar 1 though, so for me a manic episode can mean paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations. The first time that those happened did a good job convincing me I may want to avoid another one. I did fight taking anti-psychotics for a long time though. I really like those productive hypo-manic episodes though, it was hard to let them go. You have an illness. You are the things that define you. Welcome and wellness. Hi Sweetest1, nice to meet you, thank you for the nice welcome. Bipolar 1, I don't know how you do it, I'm still trying to wrap my head around me having bipolar II. Thank you for your words of wisdom, about "You are the things that define you" I'm going to remember that. Mostly I'm having troubles coming to terms realizing that I'll have to always be on medication. Sorry to ramble, my thoughts seem to be all over the place today. Thank you again!
  9. Wow, you've been through a lot. I'm sorry for that. About your meds, (just terrible that you're running out, at this point I don't know what I'd do if I were to run out) have you seen this http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/Pre...-US-t14945.html I was just checking in case, and they had all my meds. Maybe, hopefully they'll have yours. Pretty sure you can get them all for free, or at a lower cost. It's nice to finally have a diagnosis, isn't it. Thought I was going crazy. Okay so I am crazy, maybe crazier is what I meant. I know what you mean about having extra energy, it's just so nice! I have a hard time convincing myself that having a manic episode is bad. When I'm depressed I don't get anything done, so it's nice to have extra energy.
  10. Hi Shollis! Thank you for the kind words AND for replying. It's nice knowing I'm not all alone out here. My meds, hmmm, in one way they are (slowly) making a difference, and on the other hand they are the bane of my existence. Not so sure I like all the side effects. When all this started, when my reg doc thought it was just depression, I was put on Zoloft. Well that nearly killed me, made me suicidal, it was really bad, and then all the other meds for the last 2 years that followed were just horrible. So really at this point I can't complain, the Abilify is worlds better, and the Lithium really helps with my mood swings. I think that's what it's for. I'm still learning. Not sure what the Depakote is for. Anyway, long story really short, everyday is an adventure. *laughing* How about you? Are you on meds? Are they working for you yet? How are you doing with all of this. Sorry for all the questions, I'm still so new to all this, and I'm busy learning, and devouring information. If I'm being rude, please forgive!
  11. Hello everyone, I'm newly diagnosed with Bipolar II. For a couple of years now I thought it was just depression with panic attacks, and other oddities. Racing thoughts, anger, not being able to sleep, spending too much, etc ... I'm still having a difficult time realizing that I have Bipolar. Or is that I am Bipolar? Not sure how to say it. There certainly is a stigma in relation to mental health issues. What a great place to come to and be able to talk and not have to explain what you're going through. All of you already know what it's like to go through this. I'm still finding my way, but I'll get there. I hope. I'm on a bunch of meds, well for me it's a bunch. Let's see, Depakote, Abilify, Lithium, Neurontin, let's see one more, I'm on 5, oh yeah, Wellbutrin. Geez, a year ago I barely even took an Advil. They're all pretty low doses, so there's that. Although my hair is falling out. *sigh* Anyway, thank you for giving me a place to talk and be myself. It's a lifesaver. Starfish139 and Wafflewaffler, I hope you both feel better soon! And I hope the rest of you are doing well.
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