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About Zero

  • Birthday 12/22/1989

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  1. Does it go on a record? Will future employers know?
  2. I'm really having second thoughts. I can't voluntarily imprison myself...
  3. Some people on this forum gave me good advice, I saw a therapist a few days ago. Today I had a really bad episode, my therapist told me to go to the ER where the couneslor there told me I need to go to a psyhiatric hospital or a psych ward. I may decide to go...a bit scared. Any advice or thoughts? Thanks
  4. I'm a 22 year old guy. I have a laundry list of issues, mostly all come from depression and loneliness. I saw a therapist for half a year or so, last year. It turned out awful, did not listen and just threw pills at everything. The pills weren't doing it for me, some even made me more depressed and suicidal than before. I haven't taken a pill since January 1st. I've been as depressed as ever these past few months and I know if something doesn't happen soon I'll die. So I'm going to try one more time. I'm looking for therapists in my area. I was wondering what I should say or look for? I don't know what questions to ask or what to look for. Thank you for taking the time to read this, any advice is appreciated.
  5. These days when I see a couple, I just feel gutted and crappy about myself. It's silly that I'm looking at other people but, it drives me mad. I'm 22 and I've still yet to have a relationship. I'm not a child, I know all relationships aren't great and all parts of it isn't great, but god do I want to already experience it, all of it. I feel left out of a really important human experience. Why do they get that when I don't? Why do that deserve it and I don't? What am I doing wrong that these people are doing right? It's a thing of jealousy and inferiority I feel. But I just can't help it, I know it's unreasonable. I've improved myself mentally and physically in so many ways, and I just don't know what else to do stop being lonely. It's so frustrating, getting constant reminders that I'm alone too. Sometimes it makes me want to break down, I don't want to react like that.
  6. So last week was perhaps one of the most intense, depressing, confusing and anxiety filled week I've ever had (I talk about it here)Ever since then I've slowly gotten better and I wouldn't say I feel like I'm in a huge panic anymore but this past week I've had a hard time feeling any emotion at all. Yet I have this weird sense deep inside that I know I feel depressed and horrible but it isn't surfacing all the way. Yet neither is anything else. I feel like a husk, kind of just wandering around aimlessly. I don't care anymore, about anything. I'm just worried because it's so unfamiliar, I either feel good or bad for long tracks of time but never this totally apathetic where nothing whatsoever matters. I feel like I'm disassociating with my surroundings and my body. Then again I guess it is better than crying several times a day at the drop of a dime for no reason. Thoughts?
  7. Zero


    Thanks buddy, that actually made me smile I could join a group but I have really bad social anxiety and get scared and act weird when meeting new people(I guess I bring the loneliness on myself)
  8. Have you tried one of those room mate finder websites? A quick google search and I found a bunch of websites, why don't you post as many ads as you can and go from there?
  9. There are of course the big things, but it's the little things throughout the day that make me feel truly pathetic. I go to college, and school just started again from summer break, I have a one hour break in between classes and I use 10 minutes of that time to move my car to another parking lot closer to my next class and 50 minutes just sitting there knowing I don't have any friends in school. The really pathetic part is I'm starting my 5th year in the same school. When I was in my car I just thought about the moment and realized how utterly pathetic I am. As for the less than handful of friends I have outside of school, they're all getting pretty tired of me. Even the best friend I've had for over a decade is sick of hearing my crap. No friends in school, still haven't had one girlfriend, people getting sick of me, no one to talk to when I feel really bad (unless I pay someone to hear my pathetic rambling, which is what therapy feels like). Pathetic and worthless.
  10. I'm 21 years old, I've always wanted to experience a romantic relationship with a girl as far back as I can remember and I never have. Whether it's because I'm socially uncomfortable or (pick anything from a gigantic list of self hating reasons I have). I feel like I have a giant gaping empty hole in me. Like I'm missing a really important human (heck, animal) experience. I don't feel very much like a person because of it sometimes. I've always been a hopeless romantic and just wish I could feel what it's like, the ups and the downs. Is it everything they say it is? What is it like? :verysad3:
  11. Ah I see. Maybe it's premature to judge the Wellbutrin as not having effect or maybe it is because of the low dosage. Either way, I thought the prozac was making a difference but this doesn't seem to be at all. Wait longer on this 100mg twice a day (200mg total) or ask the doctor for a stronger dose?
  12. Hi everyone. So I was taking prozac for something over a month and I started getting side effects so I was switched over to Wellbutrin. I've been taking 100mg Wellbutrin for maybe 2 weeks now and I've been in horrible shape mentally (though not related to the medicine, I just don't think it helped). So my doctor upped the dose to two 100mg pills a day. I know it's a subjective question that depends on the person but is there any chance this will make a difference since the "once a day" didn't seem to do anything at all? Thank you
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