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oOAllyOo

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  1. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  2. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  3. I hope you have a fantastic day :)

  4. Im sorry to hear she decided to break up. I hope that her decision was something that she rashly made with out thinking through properly, because if it is, then perhaps deep down inside she truly loves you but is only hurt. I could definately relate to the part where you said you pushed her away for your exams. I say, dont feel too bad about that. My bf has to study for exams ALLL the time, and when ever he doesnt study long enough, and spends that time with me, he fails or does poorly and it would be all my fault. My fault because I selfishly wanted him to spend more time on me and less on his studying. Did you ask her if she was willing to ever come back to you? perhaps after she has cooled off? If she says its a possibility, you have to let her know that your relationship together requires the BOTH of you. It requires you and her to cooperatively do things together and for each other. To make sacrifices, to forgive, and to understand. Sometimes, we want things to go our way in the relationship, but like I said, a relationship requires both of you. Not just one person thinking for themself. Be sure that the next time oyu speak with her, you talk about these serious issues. Why not call her and ask her that you want to have this talk with her? Well, I wish you luck. Tell us how everythign goes.
  5. I agree with Maddie. You shouldnt be kicking yourself about this too much. Are you upset that you have been used or that you -allowed- yourself to become used? Either way, you were just looking for some human closeness and affection like maddie said. But what about your ex? You said "in the meantime". Does that mean you were both thinking about the possibility of getting back together?
  6. Thanks all. I wish he could try something to help himself become less stressed but the thing is, he cant stay away from his studies and homework even for a few minutes or he will be left behind :/ I have wanted to do something relaxing with him but im too afraid to take him away from his studies and he ends ups getting a bad grade and itll be my fault. I am trying to talk to him but im also not very good at talking especially if I dont know what to do to help DX I think he might have failed one of his exams and now he sounds totally discouraged. He is always saying things like ' I dont care anymore, I dont care if I fail, I dont care if I lose my schoarship" He just wants some peace and relaxation. Btw, he doesnt have a summer because his scholarships forced him to take summer classes :/
  7. Thank you torch. He isnt on medication, and I highly doubt he would even give them a try :P Ill talk to him about them, but he is against taking meds to change his mood. Thank you for your response. Ill let him know what you said. Sometimes, he really doe think he is crazy. I think he is OCD, based on the actions ive seen him do. He repeats things 2-3 times before completing them, and he has trouble completing them at all. I mean actions like bodily movements, such as setting something down, closing something, or turning something off. He repeats the action, like a twitch, then completes it. I dont know what this is, but I think it may be OCD. I wish their was something i could help him do, but h has so much work that If he goes on a break he will become behind in his school work and he has scholarships paying for them :/ I love him so much and his pain is effecting me. I feel it too...
  8. Im not going to post this directly on here but if anyone wants to read it ill send it to you in a PM. After that you can post your response. Its a message someone I know and care about deeply sent to me and I dont know how to help. Maybe someone else here can direct me? Please help me help him...
  9. You basically said it in your first paragraph, paper. Ive done what I could, cant do more (for the sake of myself), so for now, I can only ignore her. Too bad its a difficult thing to do, but im going to try some things. Its not going to be easy cutting out some one from my life whose been there for so many years... Its odd that you mention you're gay though. One of the people whom she turned to as a comfort friend after I spent most of my times with my bf was a gay boy. This guy she has known all of highschool as well, but they didnt really start becoming friends until this boys other best friend moved to another state and I wasnt around as much. She actually liked him, and had a crush on him as well during high school. Its basically why I told her that I didnt feel like the friendship she made with him was a true one, because like with you, she is only friends with him because she likes him. And on top of that, he was using her as well because his best friend had gone some where else. Comfort Buddies. I was hurt she was betraying me for him (but even though, she did it because I was with my bf most of the time). I did explain it to her but she continued to do what she was doing. She was basically getting ready to find some one new, friend wise, to replace me. I see what you mean Tweed. That your friend was using you. It sounds a lot like you were his fun friend, some one to go to when he was bored, not some one who was true. My friend was also like yours in that every time I said something to her it was returned with a blank stare and a blank mind. Even when I tried to confide in her about the things I am discussing now, she would just sit there with nothing to say except for maybe a "yeah" or "i know...". Like I said, her doors were always closed to me. I don't see what she could use me for though, except for sympathy. She never takes an effort to even call me. She doesn't talk to me. She dislikes my current personality (that ive changed into). Its nice that your friend found a happy ending, but considering the road mine is going, it doesn't seem like she is trying to do anything positive to help herself. I can see it, one day, she'll divorce her husband and the guy who is supposedly gay will get with her. Thats if he likes her enough. He likes her a whole lot as a friend, but as a lover, im not sure. I don't understand homosexuality much really. Thats if she gets enough guts to end her marriage... so far, she wont do anything. She claims she is used to him... Perhaps she wont come back to me. Ever. But perhaps that is also for the best. If her life is twirling down a black hole of sadness, It is best that I dont let her take me with her. Lately, its been feeling like ive been trying to help her so much that I am allowing myself to trip into the hole with her. Its very difficult to end this like this. I almost feel vengeful towards her... for using my friendship for nothing, for never truly being a friend to me, for abandoning and betraying me. Perhaps, success is the best type of revenge. And if she ever does try to come back to me, I wont accept her. No, not for making me feel this way... Im trying to end this silently, slightly. Last I spoke to her in person, we were ok... I didnt express any animosity towards her. I would talk to her and tell her its over, but I wont get through to her and she will probably try more self-destructive behaviors..... Jeez. Im done with that. So done.
  10. Indeed miss mouse, its probably the best thing I can do for myself. But I didnt make up stories for her. I did have arguments with my bf XD We always get over them and I encouraged her to do the same with her relationship. Tweed, ive never really before thought of what you said. How exactly does what I say make you come to these conclusions? How does it sound like im being used? Perhaps im not seeing it from your point of view, because I cant see it very well, so please explain to me. Not saying I dont believe your point of view, its a rather interesting one since ive never heard it before.
  11. She is very much indeed an insecure person. Its apparent to everyone who knows the definition of the word and knows her true self. Ive always wondered how she feels about me being with him and being so happy. I try to make her feel better about her current failing relationship by telling her that we have an argument once a week, but we do always get over it calmly and nicely. All couples will argue about something. I feel bad about everything as well, I feel as if I did something wrong to her, but I love this guy so very much. We both are so attached to one another. Perhaps its like that saying, some things were meant to fall apart so other things can come together.... Like it never happened. Sometimes, thats how she acts. Like our friendship never happened. She cheated on her boyfriends, she cheated on her husband. And she cheated on me. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Trust me though, I have tried to help her, SO many times. I tried so hard. But it only brought me down. Now, I must move on with my own life.
  12. SORRY ITS SO LONG!!!! I want to know, am I wrong? I have an ex best friend from highschool who ive known since 10th grade. We began to become best friends senior year (2006) and since then were okay.....until I started to date my BF. After that, mine her relationship went spiraling....no where :| I honestly don't know what to do with her. But let me explain to situations before I get confusing :P She is currently married to a man whom she and everyone knows, doesn't love. She never did love him. They only wanted each other for the sex, and she admits this openly. They married when she was 18, I believe he was 20. She has never been happy with him, and their relationship is one big horrific monstrosity that needs to end... but she hasn't the strength to do it. Mostly, she is afraid of losing. The reason she married him was because she wanted to prove to everyone that she could do it. That she could have a happy relationship and live happily ever after...even with a man she doesn't love. Everyone told her not to, every one said it wouldn't work. But she wanted to prove them that they were all full of crap. During this time, I NEVER discouraged her relationship. I always supported her, I always let her do what she wished. Even though I clearly saw the ruins of her relationship all around her. She lives like trash now and always has with him in their little apartment. They live in absolute filth. With the smell of cat feces (from living with 2-3 cats), hoards of flies, and rarely cleaning up after themselves. They never wash the dishes, and they never pick up after themselves. Even physically, their bodies are rotting away. Rot is the perfect word to describe her life at the moment. Her living condition, her relationship, her health, her friendship (being I), all rotting away. And yet, she hasn't the power to do anything about it. She isn't happy either. No way is she happy. She tells me how she always thinks about suicide, how she plots ways to do it. Hanging, pills, electrocution, etc. I have told her numerous times how she should never give up, how its not too late to better her life, but she has to do something NOW. According to her, I have saved her life simply because she thought of me before attempting to commit the act.... For a while, me and her were hanging around with a few friends. One of them, she had a deep high school crush on.... it lasted all of high school. 4 Years, this girl was obsessed with this guy... and with out even thinking of it, I was falling for the same exact guy. Back in high school, she told him how she felt, but he never returned the feelings. He just didn't feel that way for her. Because of this, she thought he didn't have a heart, she thought he couldn't love. Despite the rejection, which hurt her much, they continued to be friends. In high school, she tried so much to gain love and acceptance from different guys, even if it meant doing them...favors. She was notoriously known in high school as a vacuum cleaner, yet, she continued to do what she did. She even dated the best friend of the guy whom she had the crush on, but later cheated on him with her now husband. Her excuse was, "he wouldn't put out." When I told her my feelings about this guy, she finally told me about her crush on him, which I never knew about. I think that my expression of my feelings about him brought her old highschool feelings for him back up. I could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice... she still had deep feelings for this guy. It brought me much pain. It scared me. I didn't know what she felt about me liking him, but since I wasnt dating him, she was probably happy to see that her own best friend had such a large thing in common with her. So we always talked about him and she told me so much about him I never knew because me and him never were real friends in highschool. Only acquaintances. She knew him well, but she never knew his sentimental side, since he rarely showed it. She always wondered if he had one, but I do remember her saying that he can be a jerk sometimes, but he is an incredibly nice person. I told her if she was okay with me asking him out, and telling him how I feel. She gave me a stern "tell him!". And, after waiting so long and ******* myself over him, I finally told him how I felt about him. It went better then expected and we began a journey into the jungles of love. We are both each others' first in everything :) Through out our relationship, I could feel my friendship with her slowly deteriorating, and falling away. What I thought was a close friendship, was now becoming complicated and twisted. I was with him most of the time, and was probably picking up his verbal habits and thinking style. He has a really unique one after all. She never did like his playful rude side, and as time went by, she felt as if I was picking this up from him, although she never told me. She told others and I had to find out through them about what she was saying. She began finding new friends, and spending her time with them. She rarely called me. She was with these friends most of her time. It was probably a reaction to me spending so much time with my boyfriend and not her, and to my changing in personality that was becoming similar to his. She probably found comfort in these friends, the comfort that she cant find with me, and its probably all because of one guy. I felt a bit betrayed that she was finding new friends to be with and wasn't asking me if I wanted to spend time with her. I felt hurt. But she didnt like the changes in me, and she never told them to me. So she just made new friends, friends who have nothing to do with my boyfriend. Friends whom even disliked him. Her relationship with her husband is nearly non-existent. I have tried coming to her about all this. Sometimes, it seems like she understands, but a lack of care is there too. She doesn't want to be alone. And she doesn't want to tell me everything. She never confides in me. She never talks to me. And I don't think its just a part of her personality which I thought before. Its something deeper. Something much more deeper that developed once I began my relationship with my boyfriend. She grew to detest me and the new changes I was making. And how much exactly does the fact that she had such deep feelings with him before affect our relationship? Probably a lot. During our relationships fall, I told her that she needs to make new changes. I finally told her that her relationship with her husband is probably not the best for her and she should consider divorce. I also told her that the new friends she was making were not her true friends. They were her comfort buddies. Hang out buddies. I wanted her to know that I was her true friend. That I will always be their for her. But something was not changing her feelings. She wants none of me, and she wants all of them. Perhaps it is for the best? Its just sad to see someone I have been best friends with for so long let me go simply because of a guy and because of changes I was making that she didn't like. I have tried many times to come to her about everything, but I can never get through to her. Her doors were always closed to me. So like I said, perhaps this is for the best? This must be tiring to read. I'm tired of typing after all! But it HAD to come out. I needed to get this all out. Their is SO much more than this, but I should end it here. I hope you all can understand and put some light on my situation for me, how ever bleak it may seem.
  13. Yay for being a senior in college! Im a sophmore so I still gots a ways to go and I also have average grades. I remember how way back Highschool was the main source of my depression. I still have to ability to get a lil emotional and depressed now, but back in high school oh god, it was bad. I almost dropped 2 times. Once I was out, I was the happiest I have ever been. Look forward to when you do get out, you KNOW you will enjoy life then. Now, its going to be tough till next year. I can relate to the torment. Are you studying something you enjoy? Some times that makes a difference. Do you have any friends at school? That will also make a drastic difference. I hope it gets better. Youve got one year, try to make the best of it as yu can, and dont wear yourself out. See what others are doing right and follow their direction, and see what others are doing wrong and avoid their mistakes.
  14. Oh indeed, that I understand. But sometimes I think of it this way: "so im supposed to spend less time with the person I love because Im afraid of becoming bored with them in the future?" Uh uh. I understand some people can become bored with each other but I have a belief that boredom is all in your mind and nothing more. You become bored with something, but does that make it boring? No. You are simply bored with that particular thing, and some one who truly loves some one wont allow themselves to become bored with them. You have to change your style of thinking and such. I dont want to take "breaks". I find them useless. You never need a break from some one you love :3 But yeah, I get you though. Thats just my opinion on that matter though XD Smothering can definately ruin a relationship too, but both parties have to enjoy the smothering though for it to not become an affect.
  15. Im trying not to forget about my friends. I even fight for our friendships, but some times, I think that some things and some people just werent meant to be, friends that is. Im trying. I really am. Perhaps Im not doing it the right way, perhaps im not saying the right things, but I am indeed trying to save our friendship and in the end, she takes everything I say as an attack and spits in my face. A true friend wouldnt do that. So thus, why should I continue being friends with someone like that? With some one who doesnt care about our friendship? Im still young. Im not some lonely old woman. I dont need her. I dont need her to make me feel better. ...And yes, some one once told me the old adage about burning bridges, but this person wasnt necessarily on my side really...
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