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lestat

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Everything posted by lestat

  1. Hi all, It's been a while since I posted here. Mainly because I'm doing very well and am out there enjoying life. Let me give you a quick background... I've suffered from severe anxiety for 15 years, I'm only in my late 20's. I've had ups and very down downs. I was so anxoius at times I would throw up and lost so much weight because I was so nervous I kept spewing. I was first on Aropax/paxil for about ten years. It seemed to work somewhat, but I could still experience extreme anxiety. I went off it a few times when things were going well and I wanted to see if I could cope without it. ALways I would relapse into a shaking mess within 3 months. So I would go back on it. About a year ago I went off it, then when I tried going back on it as usual, I experienced even worse anxiety, having a very bad reaction. I couldn't sleep and had constant anxiety. My doc took me off after awhile when my weight just kept droppping. Then he tried me on Zoloft. This made me feel very depressed, and my anxiety didn't improve. I gave it 3 months, for 3 motnhs I toughed it out feeling worse then ever. When I thought there was no hope left my doc tried me on Effexor. The afternoon of the morning I started effexor, I started feeling better. I couldn't beleive a med could work so fast. I was suspicous. My mood kept lifting, my anxiety decreased and my appetite came back. I was on 75mg/day. But then after 3 weeks I started feeling anxious again. I was so worried that this was that initial "high" that people had mentioned on this forum. I was convinced the drug had stopped working and I would have to try another drug. My doc upped the dose to 150mg, again I felt better almost immediatley, of course I was suspicious thinking it was only short term. But since then I haven't looked back. I am almost anxiety free, my anxiety I would say is what normal people experience. I have put weight on and am doing so well. I had some short term side effects - constipation and some digestive problems like heart burn. But nothing major. The constipation went away and I still get a bit of heart burn. Yes I've also regularly had therapy. I've read many books, cbt books anything I could get my hands on that I thought would help. I practiced CBT for many many months, slowly but surely I've gotten better and better. I try to excercise every day becae it really helps my anxiety. No it wasn't easy, and yes I had to do a couple of extra thingsother than just taking Effexor. But Effexor has worked so far for me. I have been able to hold down a good job, and I'm even doing extra study now. I have a girlfriend that I love and she has been very supportive (yes it's possible to hold down a relationship with anxiety!!!). This isn't just for those who are about to start taking effexor. Nor am I saying Effexor will fix everything and everyone. This is for those people that are going through a real rough patch, those who think there's no hope left, those who are still searching for the right meds. There is hope!!! It will get better!!! Never give up :)
  2. I think it's probably related to jealousy. It's a change for you to get used to abeing in a relationship, but also a change for your family and friends. I'm sure they will eventually accept it. Just go with the flow and beleive that they will eventually accept it. I have the same thoughts sometimes and doubt myself. LIke am I spending to much time with my other. I don't thin kthere's really an answer. But make sure you keep in contact with your friends once ina while and allow them to feel what they are feeling because it takes most people a while to get used to change.
  3. Thanks for responses. The doc increased me to 150mg, which I started this morning. I've had a lot of changes in my life recently so I think this might also be contributing to my distress. I did feel a fair bit better yesterday, so hopefully things a settling down a bit.
  4. The thing is I felt good for about two weeks. I didn't feel really high or anything, just a lot more relaxed and stuff. Would taht mean it's less likely to be a side effect? If it's my grandmother dying, I don't feel that I should feel so anxious and upset about it because I didn't see her much, or know her very well. But I'm almost hoping that it's just memories of my mums death flooding me, from my grandmothers death, because that would mean that the effexor is still probably working and I'm just grieving still. If this was the case then it would get better by itself. If it was the fact that effexor isn't working than that would have me more worried, because I don't want ot have to go through changing meds AGAIN.
  5. Hi everyone, Not sure whether to post this in the Anxiety forum or this one. I've been on Effexor for three weeks now. Pretty much the afternoon of the first tablet I took of effexor I started feeling noticeably better. Over the next few days I felt really good. Now I'm feeling horrible. I'm currently on only 75mg per day. I've suffered from anxiety for about ten years now, some periods feeling really good, other times going through rough patches. My mum died about 2 years ago. About a week and a half ago my grandmother died. I felt pretty sad about that, the thing is I hardly saw her much or even talked to her so I wasn't very close to her. It felt like all the memories of my mums death came flooding back. I've felt really anxious over the past week and I don't know if it's because of my grandmother dying or the effexor stopped working. I've read on these boards that effexor can have an initial period of elation then you crash. I'm so sick and tired of feeling anxious and it stopping me from enjoying things. I tihnk this is going to stop me from having a good future. I hate it because I have so much to be thankful for and I don't enjoy it much because I feel so scared. Often I think aobut if I didn't have this anxiety I could be so happy. Is there any hope for me?
  6. I know where you're coming from. I used to be very much like you. And now I'm in a great relationship. I tihnk the key is exposure, exposure and more exposure. Start off VERY small and work your way up. I used to get so nervous around girls I'd want to throw up, and that was before I even spoke to them. Even sitting next to a girl on the bus would make me very nervous. I started first by keeping my head up and looking girls in the eye. Even if you're just walking down the street. Just try looking at them. The you can progress to smiling when you make eye contact. Once you're comfortable doing this, just try saying hello. So whether you're at the check out, or walking the dog, just smile and say hello. Next step I did was to rty striking up a conversation. So say you're lining up in a que to buy groceries, if you're infront or behind a girl and you're both alone, seize an opportunity to say something. You could say something tongue in cheeck like "I really love lining up". Stay at each step until you feel more comfortable to move to the next step. Practice it as often as you can. And think of it this way, if the girl thinks you're weird or doesn't feel like talking and doesn't respond, just think to your self "too bad for her, I'll probably never see her again in my life time anyway". I know it's hard, but I'm living proof that you can get the courage to talk to girls and hang out with them. I know it's scary at first, but when you get to know them it's not so scary.
  7. Hi Brooke, It sux changing docs and going on meds/changing meds at the same time. This happened to me. I was going back on Aropax and just when I did ,my doc moved away so I had to find someone else. Although Aropax worked for a long time for me, when I went back on I had terrible side effects and had to go off it. All the while waiting for a docs appointment that was far away. Wen to my first docs appointment and didn't get anything out of it, I felt worse after it. I think this was because it was just an hour talking about my troubled history. The second appointment was a little better, and the third appointment I started feeling like I was getting a lot of good things out of it. I realise now that the first few appointments was just my pdoc getting a back ground so he could then devise a way to treat me. My advice would be to give your doc a fchance with a few appointments before you quit. I was very close to changing docs but am glad I didn't. My pdoc put me on Zoloft, tried that for two months and didn't see any significant positive results . In fact I felt worse. Recently my pdoc changed me to Effexor which I'm now doing great on (and hopefully continue too). So yes I agree with Joanna in that a med might work for you once, and not have many side effects and then when you go back on it you can have a compleyly differnt experience. Also I agree that if Zoloft doesn't work then something else will. Hang in there and it might be a good idea to call your doc and tell them about the meds, and also you're not happy with the results. It seems SO painful when we go through things like this and take so long. We think we'll never get better. I know YOU WILL FEEL BETTER And we're all here for you!
  8. Hi everyone, I'm curious to know how long your side effects lasted while taking Effexor, please add what side effects you experienced. I'm only on Day 4 of Effexor, so it's hard to tell what side effects I'll get, and how intense they'll be. But generally I have mild side effects of dry mouth, decreased libido, a bit tired, and somewhat elavated anxiety.
  9. Hi all, As you may or may not know I've struggled to find a med that works since going off aropax. Zoloft didn't feel like it helped. I've been on Effexor only 3 days and I feel pretty good. I've heard of people feeling good almost immeditaley, but that it only lasts for a few days and they then crash. I wouldn't say I feel Euphoric by any means, or that all my symptoms of anxiety have disappeared. I'm just feeling quite relaxed and happier. I really hope this feeling lasts and this is the right med for me. Suprisingly I haven't experienced many side effects yet. On zoloft and aropax I was really quesy and had rough sleep patterns, and the effects took weeks and weeks to subside. My anxiety is up a little at times, and my mouth is dry, but I'm not really bothered by that. I only came off zoloft saturday so maybe I still have some sertraline in my blood and tht's helping me feel good. I'll keep you all updated and if I keep feeling good like this I will be able to post a success story. Here's hoping
  10. Everytime I've gone off my meds I've relapsed within 3months. I've been off and on meds for the past 10 years. This has happenned about 4 times, each time I've gone back on Aropax and it has worked fine. This last time though I reacted badly to taking aropax again so I had to discontinue it, tried zoloft didn't work, and am now trying Effexor. I wish I'd never gone off the meds as I've had a really rough couple of months trying to find another med to go on. Since the last relapse I've decided I'd rather bee on meds for life than have to go through relapsing, start up side effects and waiting for the drugs to kick in. When I'd feel good on meds I'd start to think "I don't need these I fee fine", then I'd relapse after being off the meds and realise I was fine BECAUSE of the meds. I've learnt the hard way but I know now that I need to be on medication for my anxiety.
  11. Hi Ender, It sounds like he is intentionally trying to make you jealous. I would definitley be questioning why he is bringing up all these girls that supposedley like him. I seriously doubt that he knows for sure whther all these girls like him, in fact alot of them probably couldn't care less. I think he is trying to get a reaction out of you. And you're right in saying that getting him back by talking about boys isn't a good thing to do, it's playing the game and feeding the problem. Next time he does it I would say "Why do you feel the need to bring up other girls liking you when you know it upsets me?" Another option when he brings it up is trying your best to be non-reactive. So just respond by saying "And". I know it's so hard to control your actions when you're having such intense feelings, but I think it's a good idea to be honest about how it feels and don't play his game. He must be quite insecure if he feels he needs to constantly bring up all of these girls which "alledgeley" like him. I'm glad you picked up on the Vampire Chonicles reference I didn't think anyone else would pick it. I loved the movie "Interview with the Vampire" and the novels. I couldn't decide whether to be Lestat or Louis! I visited New Orleans and loved it, also saw Oak Alley plantation where some of the movie was filmed.
  12. Hi all, went to the PDOC and he was like oh we didn't plan for that, we should've kept you on the lower dosage of 50mg if you felt good on that. Anyway he said to keep on the effexor since I'cve started it. I felt pretty good yesterday and last night, and also today. I've read that it's common to be on a high when you first start effexor for a few days. But I don't feel euphoric, just feel relaxed and happy, so hopefully it stays that way.
  13. Hi Deebear, Yeah my pdoc recommended dropping down at that rate. I too thought the taper was rather quick, but anyways, I think my doc wanted to get me onto effexor quick, and I guess I hadn't been on zoloft for a huge amount of time (2months). So I started the effexor today (couple of hours ago). Didn't feel too crash hot last night or currently. I think I'll keep a mood diary as you suggest, keep track of how I'm feeling better. Seeing the pdoc tomorrow, so I'll have a chat to him.
  14. Hi all, ok this seems really weird. Ever since I've started tapering off zoloft (100mg to 50mg for two days; 50 mgs to 25mgs for wo days; 25mgs to 0mgs two days). I've been feeling better and better. I'm now on 0mgs of zoloft from this morning. And I can say that I've been feeling pretty good. More like my old self, and less anxious, not depressed Is it possble that withdrawing from an ad can create feelings of well being? Or maybe zoloft made me feel significantly worse for the time I was on it (two motnhs) that I got so use to it and am now feeling the same way as before I used it, but it seems so much better? Strange, now I'm wondering whether to start effexor at all! The purpose of me tapering off zoloft was that it wasn't having significant benefit and my pdoc suggested me try effexor. Strange no (in french accent, I'm not french)?
  15. Time is the only thing. Unrequited love seems to be harder because you make up your own fantsy of what it couldv'e been. When you do date someone though it soon dispels any unrealities of that person. So give it heaps of time, and allow yourself to feel it.
  16. Hi Beanchop99, I's actually like to put weight on, I lost a lot of weight going from paxil to zoloft with side effects and I'm already skinny, so it would be good if thats a side effect for me. Lack of sexual desire isn't tooooo concerning, already have taht with zoloft and aropax. On 25mg today, drop to 0mg sunday then start effexor monday. Fingers crossed I'll keep you all updated.
  17. Hi, I sufer from the same thing. I would say it is most likely the anxiety. When I'm highly stressed for a period of time, I have phases where for several mornings in a row I will puke. When my anxiety is under control I don't vomit or feel like vomiting in the mornings. So I would say once you get the anxiety a bit more under control then the vomiting will cease. So the prozac and therapy should help with that. For a more immediate solution I've tried breathing excercies, which help somewhat but as soon as I've stopped the breathing technique I feel like puking again. The BEST thing I've found is distraction. If there's someone around I'll talk to them and that relieves it substantially. If I'm by myself it's a bit harder. But I try fanatasing and that normally helps. I also find turning the tele on or radio helps. Sometimes I puke despite my best efforts, and then I just accept it and know that in the future when I'm relaxed it won't happen anymore. I reckon puking is one of the worst symptoms associated with anxiety.
  18. Thanks for the reponses I do see a pdoc regularly is this what you guys mean about therapy/counselling? Or do you mean like a behavioural psychologist or something? I recently had to change to a new pdoc so I've only seen him twice, and I guess I haven't had too much of a chance to bring these things up. I think it is a fear of her leaving me for somone else. Of her finding someone who's more fun loving to be around, someone who doesn't have problems with anxiety. Also I'm inbetween changing meds so I'm probaby a bit more sensitive about things.
  19. Hi all, I was just wondering who of you get jealous when your partner talks to/about a member of the opposite sex. The first few months of seeing her I didn't really care, like I felt independant and not worried about her associating with other guys. But it seems now I get quite jealous when she mentions anorther guys name, she hangs out with a male friend, or I see her laughing or talking with another guy. I know it's irrational so I don't say anything. i've mentioned that I have a jealous streak, But I don't always say "I was jealous when you did this or that", as I'd probably be saying it everytime I saw her. I guess what I'm asking is this just a stage in the relationship that ervyone goes through? How did you overcome you jealousy? I know if I bring it up it will cause a big issue and make matters worse, so do I just hold it in side? I can't think of any startegies except that maybe the more and more I'm exposed to it, that in time I won't feel as threatened. I tell myself "this doesn't mean anything, she just innocently talking to a guy", but it doesn't stop these jealous feelings. I looked on th einternet and all I can find is things that say "don't get jealous about this, don't get jealous about that", but you can't just turn it off.
  20. Hi Pandora, It sounds like he is looking for reasons as to why he is depressed. I think it is quite common to blame it on external factors. So we try change our environment hoping that it will change, but something else always come up and we think "I know now what it is it's this!!!", only to find that we feel no better when that particular thing is changed. An important step with recovering from mental illenss I think is accepting that sometimes depression/anxiety is exactly that, it IS DEPRESSION or ANXIETY. I think when he accepts that he is depressed then he will sotp trying to change his environment and start seeking happiness within. I've spent many years dealing with anxiety/depression initially I though it was things/people in my life that made me feel like crap, after changing many things I realised I didn't feel any better, and my worries and sadness would only be directed towards something new. Hopefully therapy and meds will help him see that you aren't the problem, the Depressoin is the problem. Your personal history and knowledge of mental illenss has already rpepared you well in coping with this, so you're already a step ahead a lot of other people in similar situations. I wish you the best.
  21. Hi everyone, I'm coming off zoloft and changing to Effexor. Just wondering how you're going guy and lost in the past, on your effexor. Went from 100mg down to 50mg yesterday. pdoc said take 50mg for 3 days, 25mg for 3 days, then start effexor. I'm experiencing anxiety today, which was similiar to when I upped my dosages of zoloft. I'm hoping I don't get too many side effects coming off zoloft and going on effexor. Really hoping effexor is the drug for me.
  22. Hi all, I don't feel like much has changed since a week ago. My anxiety seems much the same, and I'm still getting down about not getting better. I don't feel like I can have much of a life with this condition. Joanna - when you say "therapy" do you mean just like talking to a doc? I've been seeing a pdoc and discussing my problems with him. Is there any other options? Anyways, I feel extremely disheartened about trying this zoloft and not having many positive results. My pdoc wants me to try effexor (previous post). I feel destined to live a mediocre life, my anxiety always holding me back. I love my gf but I feel I'm destined to live a life alone, as who wants to spend their life with someone who can't handle things and always be holding them back...
  23. Hi all, So I told my doc that I'm still feeling pretty anxious despite being on zoloft for 7 weeks, currently 100mg for past two weeks. I'm getting alot of that "constricted throat" feeling, and wanting to spew. I still don't know that maybe if my life were static at the moment then I wouldn't be experienceing so much anxiety. But I guess that what an AD is meant to do, make you feel good enough to feel more relaxed when things are changing. I know none of you can suggest what medication I should take etc, but I feel like I went through alot to get past the side effects of zoloft, I no longer hae side effects and I'm gonna have to start all over again. What if recovery is just around the corner for me, on zoloft??? I mean I feel my mood is better in terms of depression, but my anxiety is not much improved - and anxiety is the main reason I'm taking it. Were any of you on 100mg of zoloft for about two months with not many positive results, and then things started to to get better? My pdoc wants to try Effexor. Maybe I'm just expecting too much from an AD, but I haven't felt "great" for a long time. If I go off zoloft, I'll have to go through the withdrawals, and then start effexor which I might get side effects from. What sought've life is that. I know everyone says give zoloft a chance to work, have I not given zoloft at 100mg for two weeks, and 7 weeks in total enough time???
  24. I've been on paxil/aropax in the past (for 10yrs), and now I'm on Zoloft. I've found in both cases that they caused "sexual side effects". It depends how you look at it I suppose. It hasn't compleyley killed my drive, but it has decreased it significantly. It actually makes me last a lot longer, so I see that as a positive. Although it would be nice to have high drive and last longer. So the sexual side effects I had with aropax lasted for as long as I took it (10+ years). Even though my drive is lower, I consider it worth taking if it is helping me with anxiety. Also I'd like to add that my anxiety is definitley most worse upon waking in the morning. In fact it's what wakes me up (horrible feeling).
  25. My anxiety definitley got worse after about two days, and stayed that way for about two weeks. It does go away. I'd say in the first month I had many ups and downs, and still having a few but more stable after 7 weeks. In fact I had some REALLY low lows, which I didn't have before, but the doctor assured me it was my body adjusting to the zoloft.
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