I'm new and this is my first post. Like most on here, I have a long story (history) of trying to figure out how to be better. Tried what seems like 100's of different meds. Different Drs/nurse practitioners and even did some psychiatric counseling. Im 53 years old and sad that so much time has passed dealing with it, and I'm not excited about being like this till I die. I know what's right and wrong. I know all the things said to do. Exercise, meditation, etc, etc. But here I am still hoping. I'm just rambling now, but my question is, does anyone else just want someone to talk too or feel like you have caused so much pain to your spouse that you just cant bring it up anymore because you know they are growing tired of all the negatives.