So I am a man who has been in an accident through no fault of my own. Let me state that I know there are people far worse off than me. I was in a store and something fell on my head while I was shopping. It has caused bleeding on my brain and neck and back injuries. They want me to have surgery on my neck which I won't allow and there was bleeding on my brain which healed itself on the frontal left love which controls emotion, coordination, memory and many other important things in our body. Since the accident I've had a ringing that never stops in my ears, coordination problems, emotional problems and short time memory loss along with physical injuries to my neck and back. I have an attorney an been fighting this for almost three and a half years. I see a therapist weekly and take medication to deal w pain and mental issues since this accident. I had no prior medical issues and was an athlete who played tennis every night, worked out for over 38 years.
Since the accident my life has been filled with doctors, therapy and medications. I do not have any social life as my relationship of 25 years ended with my partner cheating on me and the stress of me becoming reliant on her when needed. I am unable to work and was a professional who had a high income which ultimately was taken away. I lost my car and became dependent on my partner to take me to doctors, help me with bills and be a support system for me emotionally as I dealt with these injuries. I no longer work out or play tennis which has caused me to be in not the best of shape as I was. I'm still muscular but not cut like I was due to being inactive. Since my partner left because the memory issues and income were causing stress because her income is incapable of handling my expenses as well, she left. Do I feel betrayed, sometimes because I raised her three children but can't be mad at her because of the issues I have incurred. It's been three and a half years since the accident. The pandemic and unemployment allowed me to support myself throughout the last couple years but is now gone. I applied for disability but have been denied 4 times and am on the second to last appeal process hoping to get approved as back money is owed which will help me. They say I have the beginning of Alzheimer's and that ultimately from the blow to my head I will fall victim to it. Today, I am unable to work and lost my home, car, relationship, ability to support myself financially and have no social life, friends or family. I am currently sleeping in a car with my dog trying to survive every day. With no income, I can't put gas in my car, my battery dies from trying to charge my phone and not run the car and I am still a year away from court or settling my case which is going on four years. I don't ask people for mo ey nor will I beg or lower myself to be one of those people who borrow from anyone. Since my entire life has been destroyed and altered, I have the defense calling me a malingerer or liar even though multiple tests, MRIs and other doctors prove everything I state to be true. They have gotten out orders for my social media, text messages looking to defame me and make me look like a criminal as I am homeless and dealing with problems they could never understand. My car has no registration, is broken and causing it to rip itself apart even though it's a Mercedes I have a title loan which cannot be paid and finding a safe place to sleep in my car is more of a problem than I ever thought. If you stay in an area to much it allows criminals or predators to scheme against you because you have a nice car, I have to dodge police because I'm indigent and can't pay for registration or repairs, gas, etc and to top that if the criminals don't get you, the people in the area will think you are a sexual predator or pervert so I must move around and search for places that are safe, without police and not be noticed by residents. That's is a very daunting task. I have an attorney who cannot help me and we are trying to get a lawsuit loan. I was approved for 12000 but only based on I could get 2000 a month. That does me no good because I need to fix my life and 2000 does not pay for a weekly. A normal apartment runs in the 1500 to 2000 dollar a month area and to get the place with my medical bills affecting my credit score, I would need two months rent and a security deposit which 2000 a month cannot cover. I need repairs and registration and a thousand to pay my title loan off not to mention gas money and money to buy things like toiletries and simple things we need in every day life. So on Friday I was trying to get a better deal on the loan, more money upfront so I can take care of all these issues so I can fix my life. They don't understand how every day being homeless risks your life at worse and has your car towed and dog who suffers every day w me away from me while I go to jail for a night, losing the only things I love and have left in my life. I have no family and my friends are few and far in-between. I would never ask them to help me or get involved in such a horrible situation as mine.
My loan person got upset with me trying to ask for better terms but due to my Dire situation. I was forced to accept their offer and because she was angry with me,, purposefully did not get the loan done in time before the weekend, her way of punishing me because she knows how I have to live everyday. What she doesn't understand, nor does my attorneys secretary is that I could die, lose something I love or have the only thing of value in my life confiscated. Just her being spiteful. I call my attorney and his secretary who is supposed to be helping me and is aware of my situation is short w me and seems to be bothered when I ask her for an update on the money. She says Im waiting and I will contact you when I hear something. Five hours goes by and nothing. It's 5 pm which means another ,3 days of being in the car, hungry and uncomfortable. I sleep maybe 2 hours a night if I'm lucky and truly I am exhausted. The five hours that passes to people is just time but to me it is my life and they have no clue how dire, dangerous and consequences I face each night as they go home and eat hot food, sleep in a bed and lock their doors from predators while I gave all of that every day, night. So when she doesn't send me an update I'm waiting for, not even a Hi I've been checking on the loan and haven't heard anything or I'm sorry I know what you're going through, nothing. No message and no care. I'm a burden or nuisance to her. A problem she doesn't want to have to deal with. She has no clue what I go through every night to survive. And it's a long night because I don't have the money to move around.
I know that the money I am going to receive will help me a little but am not counting on it as she told me she could have the papers sent out to be signed and the money to me in am hour. 5 hours went by and nothing. Now I must wait the weekend which is the most dangerous time to be on the streets at night for all of the obvious reasons including police.
I have never given up and am considered a strong person but admit I am barely making it night to night. It's bad enough being alone but being completely indigent, homeless, friendless by my choice and treated like I am a criminal has taken a severe told on me. I see a therapist weekly but she is handcuffed and concerned for my well-being. So I try not to tell her the real problems I gave because she would be distraught and I don't want to cause any problems for her. She couldn't handle the truth. I have literally fought people who think I'm a mark or a come up because I have a Mercedes but the fact is I'm street smart and book smart and I'm 6 ft 250 lbs. But that size has no bearing on the true status of my being as I'm fading. If not for worrying about my dog, I don't think I would care if I stayed or left this planet. I hate to see her suffering as she is such a good girl but is old and shouldn't be living so tough. Anyways that's the situation I face and I don't know if that loan will go through since I challenged the terms. They took it personal and might deny me making it another four day process with some other company and making my attorneys secretary or assistant even more hateful towards me. All in a day's life. I hope everyone is fine and never has to deal with these horrible situations but know that's impossible.