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bj21filly

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  1. Resigned from a job that was high stress and under a terrible boss that would gaslight me. At 41, I thought I finally found a good job, and could mask my depression. For the most part, I did great! I worked hard for 2 1/2 years until I couldn't take anymore. I walked out!!!! Ultimately was forced to resign that evening, or I'd probably be fired in the morning. I have so much regret, and I live in a small town that doesn't offer the same type of job anywhere. To make it worse, I've been in an abusive relationship for 4+ years, ....and often wonder if that caused me to act so impulsively. I feel trapped!!!!! Now I have to stay with this person so my finances don't go out the window. I was so close to finally walking away from him. But now, I question everything. I don't have a lot of skills, so finding another job will be difficult enough. I blame myself. I often think, if I just had enough self-esteem, I'd still have a job, and I would be away from this abusive man. I can't get out of bed, eat, sleep, function. I'm now smoking 2 packs a day, and I used to be an avid cross-fitter before I met him. I've lost everything.
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