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Sheen

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  1. I have had a lot of blows to the head. I’ve crashed my bike and been mangled in it multiple times as a child. I had a heavy box fall on my head at age 4. I got punched many times. and I did stupid things in junior high to be cool, like inhaling gas fumes. I passed out the first time and when I woke up, I had forgotten about my life. I was fourteen and I didn’t know who I was or what anything was. As soon as it all began coming back I was thinking ‘what the hell am I doing in this garage? now in my late 20’s. I’m now seeing how all this has ****ed me up in the long term. I’m having symptoms of dementia. Severe depression racked with suicidal thoughts daily. Feel dead inside, like a part of me has died. I’m not as there as I was a few years ago. My situation is getting worse every year, every day. Every day I feel more and more detached from my own head. No I don’t use drugs. The supplements I use are in fact supposed to help this.
  2. I suffer with the same stupid bs day after day. I’m not welcome in my own home. Or anywhere for that matter. Im lost and have no connection to anyone. My depression and suicidal thoughts have alienated me from my family. I am as helpless as a child. But I am left on my own, by careless apathetic people. what I have learned from life is that, nothing good ever comes from anything. It never gets better. Nothing I do will ever be enough. I’ll always be wrong. I’ll always be wrong. That’s just what I was born to be, a defected, malnourished pos. Nothing good I do, no good intentions ever get seen. I’m genuine and want people to know that I have good intentions. But I’m Always made to be the bad guy. People assign me heinous punishments for things I didn’t even do. People profile me because of my disability. They call me ‘full of shit.’ People even treat me like I don’t exist. Peiple who call themselves ‘good people’ have literally left me in the street. I’m in a deep hole. Does anyone really actually care? I’m teetering over the edge. I’m asking myself if life is really worth it. I’m starting to think I should’ve killed my self a long time ago. I reach out, but again no one seems to truly care. if here someone could help me. If not then honestly…. I’m sorry to say but I will have lost all hope for myself and humanity. I send a text saying to my brother or sister, friend, etc, that I am needing to talk and that I’m feeling suicidal and all I see is read at 7:58 pm. Current time: 9:00 The next day. im strongly considering milking myself. I have a couple of ideas on exactly how and when I would be doing this and it’s honestly beginning to look like a very real outcome. I guess I was created by the universe, by mistake.
  3. I feel like I’m a dead man inside a living carcass
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