welcome. I too had issues with my father. he loved me once upon a time, then hated me when i hit my teens and my bipolar emerged. he said he was perfect and therefore i should be perfect and just deal with the problems and overcome my fears and self-destructive nature. he passed away and i didn't cry or feel anything.
don't let him and his stupid opinion of you ruin your life. i might not know you, but the choice you made to come here for help and support speaks highly of a strong man. it take bravery to admit you are in trouble and need help. i hope you find what you need here and the people to help you through this. only people who suffer with mental illness can understand the pain and hopeless you feel. do not stop reaching out.