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Everything posted by vega57

  1. I come to wish all of you as best a life as possible, I've enjoyed talking to some of you and hopefully I've been able to help some even a bit as I've been helped by many of you. This 2 past years have been the hardest 2 years of my life, had it not for this site and the help of my family i would not have been alive now though i almost didn't make it a few times. Its now time to face the demons iv been running away from for so long, i can no longer run nor want. As I've mentioned I've not take meds thinking I could manage this insidious illness on my own but in reality I was never really able too, but I have decided that I do want to live and live the best possible life possible I can so it's necessary to make drastic changes. My mental illness has effected my life and the life of my family in a very negative way. I'm battling an extremely bad infection that almost cost me my life, it triggered a third stroke just last week but I'm recovering nicely. I'm going into the behavioral health section of the va medical call center for a few weeks because I want to get better and live. The death of my police officer brother on October 8th 2016 followed by many other family deaths was just to much but I refused to face it, I became more of a recluse and sadly I often blew up at family, it's not fair nor right to them. My grandchildren started being afraid of me and that broke my heart. So there's so much more i could say but I won't. So again I pray for your mental health. Please be good to yourself, never give up, keep moving forward. Your friend and fellow sufferer, retired Army staff sergeant F. Vega. May you have a wonderful life.
  2. After years of avoiding meds I've finally agreed to take them but hopefully only for a short time; October is a month full of bad memories but it's definitely not that med.
  3. Wow, didn't know either. I guess I advised you wrong but I do think it's a herd mentality of bullies; they find strength in numbers and Obviously you aren't able to avoid them. I always approach things from my own strength, I never back away but sometimes it must be viserial strength. So I'll ask you and maybe in this way you can at least find some solutions. What do you plan to do?
  4. First, I'm very sorry for your situation and dilemma because that's what it turned into. I know it's to late for this but you should have stopped those idiots from the get go but as a previous manager I know how difficult it can be. This is going to take a bit of strength on your part but I suggest approaching them one at time, this way they won't have each other to draw strength from. I think they will be much different and weak people, which is what they really are as individuals. Ask them out right what they have against you, which I bet is nothing, they are just bullies with a herd mentality. And don't back down, show them your weak and won't stand for their nonsense. It won't be easy but I think worth the effort. But please don't be like them once you have gained the upper hand. And you will.
  5. vega57


    Its tough no doubt but maybe it's a nervous tick. I have burn scars on my face from a childhood accident, I never picked it but I was always rubbing it. I mean the rubbing didn't do anything good or bad, it more of a nervous defense. Though now it barely noticeable minus a small intention right below my left cheekbone I learned to live with it. If I'm asked I tell them the story but most won't hear it all. LOL. The one thing you must remember that the underneath of our fingernails are usually at least a bit dirty which can worsen your acne. Keep them short so you won't actually be able to pick but still go through the motions. I sincerely wish you well on this.
  6. Sorry about all all your losses, I know how devastating it is. There are days that are truly unbearable but in the end we have to make choices; do we give up, which really isn't a choice or do we find a way to go on. I've been around a long time and I count maybe 3 people who are real friends whom I've known for many years. Obviously I don't know you are the person who disappointed you but please consider this one thing: some people for whatever reason just can't deal with others in an unselfish way. They may want to but just can't. And I think you already know this, sometimes we are just better off with certain people in our lives.
  7. Seems to me that he never really was the friend you thought he was, just needed you as you need him now. I'm sorry that you are going through an extremely hard time. As we all do at times you may need extra help from your pdoc if you are seeing one if not you may think about it. When I lost my main residence for similar reasons I too had an extremely hard time but in the end I concentrated on changing things, changing my priorities, which meant my mental health. Please try not to think about ending things but about your mental health. There are good people out there who are or will be a true friend. And we are here for you, to encourage, vent or whatever we can do from here.
  8. Why? Because you have mental illness. I thought that by this stage of my life I would have things figured out, you know, conquered this thing but it's not so. Mental illness is sort of the invisible illness in that inless you have a total breakdown it's not obvious to others. But theres always hope though it may not seem so. You've obviously managed to do some awesome things in spite of and you should concentrate on that. I truly wish you well.
  9. The benefits of supplements is that they straighten your body which can help with mental illness. I've taken them for years but according to my doctor most don't contain enough vitiam D so he prescribed it to me. I was doubtful but it does seem to be having a positive effect. Here when I live we have the opposite problem then you, we have extreme heat for 5 months which necessitates staying inside unless absolutely necessary so I've attended much builder to my regiment. Due to both mental and physical illness my weight dropped from 160 to about 139, my family thought I was back on drugs. I really didn't realize how bad I looked till my wife showed before and after pictures, I looked like walking death, it was an eye opener.
  10. Be patient and allow him to open up when and if he's ready; eventually it will come like an avalanche
  11. Then I hope you are doing well now. I tried it about 10 years ago but only for a very short time.
  12. Lol. And then comes the real let down. The repetitive nature of mental illness and it's gride coupled with the "other" things of life at certain point just get to be a bit much. But then I wonder: if I didn't have mental illness would I really be me. Lol. Sad, just sad.
  13. Stay off that damned scale, they mess with your head. When I started exercising again I used my clothes as a measure of progress.
  14. I tried that med years ago and my anxiety went through the roof, ended up in the hospital. There are much better meds. You need to talk to your pdoc asap.
  15. At my age I've finally accepted that nothing, absolutely nothing will fix whatever the hell is broken and I've resigned myself to quit pretending.
  16. Thank you. So sad how many young men and women are in my son's predicament. I see other parents hanging on to hope for a full recovery, some for any recovery and the fear that their child will return to the same thing. We talk about the dreaded phone call that we all hope we never get.
  17. Thank you river and yes he's doing much better and I hate to say this but in a sence it's the best thing, it gives him a chance to take account of his life. He's in physical rehabilitation facility just outside L.A., we visited him yesterday and though he's shaking he's doing much better. The only downside is the accumulation of inncudents tends to wear us down. Stay strong, giving up isn't an option
  18. No didn't know this but yep they sure do, 2 now. Same color with tipped ears. The first is very trusting but the second one doesn't trust us so I have to place it's food and water away from us. Interesting info. Txs
  19. I guess cats know when we need them, another stray showed up and continues to hang around. If course me feeding it, don't know if it's male or female but I just call girlie.
  20. Thank you so much but unfortunately my son has fallen into a coma but the doctors are hopeful as we are. Life is what life is. I truly am happy for you. Stay positive and strong. Thank you for your prayers.
  21. Unfortunately my son was found under a bridge in the wash, he had a stroke and bleeding in the brain. Right now he's unable to walk or talk very much but we are keeping our hope up. It's been extremely hot and humid and the drugs didn't help either; now we travel back and forth to Loma Linda and spend a few days at a time with him. He's young so that's a plus but his future is uncertain.
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