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vega57 last won the day on December 8 2014

vega57 had the most liked content!

About vega57

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  • Birthday 10/04/1957

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    southern Cal east corner of state, Coachella Valley
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    This forum, learning more about my illness, computers, my family and wife, reading, helping others, studying scripture, driving my "82 Chevy truck with my grand kids as passengers. Update:I'm have gotten back into bike riding, for about four years now and am getting reading to do the 100 mile charity ride, The Tour of Palm Springs.

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  1. Truly hope you are doing better if not totally well which I know it's hard to achieve. Don't give up please.
  2. And that is definitely our challenge, that's why I harp on the fact that if we aren't stable mentally we need to get there before making major and important decisions. That being said, try to let things flow, there's no rush, especially for you. You're a young pup, you have many years yet to play the field, enjoy the journey. Women and men need to make it fun and challenging. I think I mentioned it here, the very first time, in fact in the first few minutes of meeting my now wife is told her that someday she would in fact BE my wife. She laughed, everyone laughed but look who gotthe last laugh AND a wonderful wife, mother and now grandmother. I'm blessed and fortunate, she treats me like a "king" and I her like my queen. In plain English, dude take your time, the one for you and her is our there.
  3. Welcome 472. Your question is an oxymoron; it's possible to actually think that certain things make us sad and or depressed but for us with mental illness it usually goes further BECAUSE of it; things that may not bother others or find easy or easier to overcome for us it could be almost impossible, we zero in on the minutiae. So until our MI is stable every single thing is magnified from a molehill into a mountain. Yes there are and can be many things/occasions that are genuinely sad and depressing but we have the challenge of being able to discern them.
  4. I think what you mean by charismatic is that you don't blabber about yourself which is a good quality. I was and still am a person of few words but that allowed me to observe and study people, to learn what they are truly about, I talk in a low voice, people don't feel overpowered and they appreciate that I actually listen, some don't appreciate it but than I don't have the need to be appreciated by many. I know this is cliche but take your time, the right woman is out there, heck part of the fun IS the journey, you'll be able to build a lasting relationship that is true and genuine and if it doesn't turn into a romantic relationship it could be a gratifying friendship or association.
  5. Could be you are looking in the wrong place and women who aren't compatible with your qualities or what you are looking for in a woman and potential mate. Looks are what first attracts us to each other but please remember that there's more to us than just looks; there's beauty inside every shell. I'm no looker by a long shot and I was fortunate that my wife took time to know me; 28th of this month we start our 39th year together. Looks fade but love and commitment grows. Or it should. Lol.
  6. First I'm very sorry that you are back in a bad mental place but keep in mind that the worst part eventually subsides and in your case it may eventually got away totally especially with treatment. I would that you are one of the fortunate one because in many cases people never improve as much as you. That being said what you are currently going through is very hard but it will get better.
  7. What matters is what you think, please don't gauge yourself by what others think, opinions are as different as people. And please take into account our mental illness colors our thoughts. Be good to yourself.
  8. Like I said you don't lack confidence. Don't we all wish we had your confidence. I do
  9. You are welcome. Keep positive, remember things can be worse but in reality you have made a good life for you and your family.
  10. Doesn't want to be bothered, at least in word but this could have a double meaning: help me but I'll let you know when I need it. Conversely some people are just so miserable due to mental illness that they just want to be left alone, which I personally think can be a bit dangerous. Obviously I don't know you or your friend but I just recently learned that this can be a one symptom of PTSD. Maybe you should gently and carefully prod your friend a bit at a time but please remember that some people mean what they say even if it's to their detriment.
  11. Breath in life everyday and appreciate the little things for they add up to big things.
  12. If you weren't "smart enough" you wouldn't have the job. Looks are a temporary and fleeing thing, at least what some call good looks; obviously you at the very least beautiful enough for your husband to have looked and admired you when he first saw you. I'm 59 my wife is 60, definitely notspring chickens anymore but to me she is the most beautiful woman in the world and I'm the most fortunate man that she even looked at me when we first met. The very first time I met her, in fact within the first hour I told her that someday she would be my wife, she laughed, her friends laughed but I got the last laugh and her. March 28th marks our 38th anniversary. Not to bad for an ugly guy, don't you think. Until recently we had six living children, another died at childbirth plus another young man who wasn't our biological son died a few years ago, to us he was just our son, no difference. Life for you and I and everyone else who suffers with mental illness will never be the same as for who don't but we can live productive lives just the same, we just have to realize and accept that its a bit different. Be thankful please and give yourself a break.
  13. You ask can anyone relate to this, only, probably a hundred percent of us. This is mental illness in a nutshell, everything you mentioned. If it does crumble, which I greatly doubt it's not because you don't deserve it but BECAUSE of your illness. This is exactly why you must do your best to stay healthy, but not only mentally but physically. And sometimes we say we are depressed for no reason, that's also mental illness and not true. We have MI because something doesn't work correctly upstairs, in our brain so it really doesn't come out of nowhere or all of a sudden and because of our illness we sometimes aren't aware but we are aware that something isn't quite right. We all deserve ALL the goodness and joy of life, all of us. You deserve it, I deserved it, we all deserve it. You know that saying, fake it till you make it, sometimes we have to do this. You have so many of the things that many of us used to have or never had because of our illness. You are indeed fortunate and if you believe in God blessed. Yeah it's hard to appreciate things at times and when you are having a moment like this take stock of what you have, and new beautiful child, a wonderful husband, education, a great job, sounds pretty good to me. I don't do luck but I do hope the best for you and yours.
  14. Glad I could be of some help. One positive thinking about getting older is not sweating every single thing and not worry about what others may think of you. A negative, well getting older. Lol
  15. Mental illness I think plays a role in low self esteem and causes lots of other problems. I wish I could advise you on this matter but I really can't other than to suggest writing a list of what YOU see as your positives. By doing so it gives something tangible to look at and work off of; do the same for what YOU see as your negatives, some you may be able to change to positive and the ones you can't change may not be worth changing. I do this myself and it really had helped me. Please give it a whirl.