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vega57 last won the day on December 8 2014

vega57 had the most liked content!

About vega57

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  • Birthday 10/04/1957

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    southern Cal east corner of state, Coachella Valley
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    This forum, learning more about my illness, computers, my family and wife, reading, helping others, studying scripture, driving my "82 Chevy truck with my grand kids as passengers. Update:I'm have gotten back into bike riding, for about four years now and am getting reading to do the 100 mile charity ride, The Tour of Palm Springs.

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  1. Bad choices of yesterday are gone just like yesterday, can't bring it back but you can do better tomorrow. But remember tomorrow will be yesterday so worry only about today and not the bad choices that already happened.
  2. First let me tell that I feel for you, my wife lost two sisters to cancer in a span of eleven months, in addition to her mother and brother and few years back. I've lost to many myself, children, brothers and one sister. My brother was killed in an ambush in palm Springs on October 8 last year along with a colleague, my eldest sister had a stroke the day he died and we buried her December 1st. I sat my garage for couple of weeks not wanting to go on but we have to. Contrary to what our brains tell us, life isn't over, it may feel like it is and worst yet we may want it to but it's not. We have to live. We really do. I pray and wish the best for you.
  3. This may sound counter to what you expect but here goes: I was never my children's friend, not till they grew up. If I had been their friend I couldn't have been the parent they needed or I needed to be. We have a very good relationship but we had made bumpy roads when they reached their teens; they've often thanked their mother and I for the way we raised them and they try to emulate us, for better or worse. I truly am sorry for the relationship you have with your mother and the way she makes you feel but it sounds like you are finding your own way. Maybe that strength came from her.
  4. The choice not to risk doing something out of fear. I may have over compensated but I never made that choice again.
  5. My wife has asked me that why when I'm with my kids and grandchildren I seem so far away, I tell her I'm not, I'm filling my memories bank for the day I leave this earth. I want to reply these memories as I'm passing to the next chapter.
  6. My wife, daughter and grandchildren went to the park today after church, I was listening to kid's laughter and it reminded me of how much I miss my own kid's laughter. Grown-ups laughter just isn't the same.
  7. The same happened to me when I first used meds for depression, it wasn't Prozac, I can't remember the name but it was one of the older ones. I waited the four weeks as instructed but like you it never worked and made me way more depressed, to the point of suicidal thoughts. If you haven't consulted your pdoc do so ASAP and if necessary go to the ER. Don't wait to long please.
  8. I don't know much about emogies but half smile, half frown
  9. Hopeful For Tomorrow
  10. Depending what moment it is; from oblique yellow to light gray.
  11. Listening to the last sounds of peace and quiet after spending a weekend recuperating at a nice hotel. Time to return to reality. Lol
  12. Not getting over it has to do more with your MI than you may realize,we tend to over do everything. But to a certain point feeling just a bit guilty could be a good thing, its your antenna in life but don't let ruin your life. As you said: God has forgiven you, now accept it and move on. Believe me, there's many more things that should concern you and this isn't one of them.
  13. The reality for us is that black will always be part of each and everyone of us but every once in a while other colors will pop in. Yeah we could and should seek bright colors for our lives but at least we don't always have blackouts.
  14. my granddaughter talk my ear off, thank god that my new hearing aides can control where i pick up sounds from. lol.
  15. black with a little bit of grey, as most times but i always hold out hope for a little yellow to break through to brighten my day and life.