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Everything posted by monicott17

  1. Well at least it is sunny. But it is cold, very cold. And the snow looks like it will be sticking around for awhile. I see next week bitter cold…single digits/teens temps are in our future..yay!
  2. Wasn’t a great week for me either. My seasonal affective depression has really kicked in now with the recent snow event. Plus, the really cold temps are sticking around for awhile with little moderation. I am so bad with this that I keep my blinds closed and work in minimal light during the day so I do not have to look at the snow outside my window. And work…it has been issue after issue of late and it takes 2 or more emails usually for my boss to respond. Frustrating!
  3. Coffee, TV and movies from the 50’s/60’s, outlet malls, warm nights in the summer, the beach!
  4. Ugh…we got a bunch of snow here today plus I had a lousy work day equals me feeling miserable and even more down about things. yes
  5. I’ve toyed with the idea of trying meds and talked about it with my therapist but have not gotten to a point where I was comfortable with it. Still not quite there but I don’t think I have a choice any longer. I can’t function, I live in a state of 24-7 anxiety/worry, more depressed (especially at this time of the year) than I have ever been and now even my OCD (emphasis on the O) has returned.
  6. I’m having a bit of a meltdown at the moment. And again it is a bunch of small things (including my extreme weather OCD) that has triggered me this time. And I am on my own because I can’t talk to anyone other than my therapist because no one close to me gets it…they might act like they care and throw out a bunch of empty words and pladitudes which feel pretty pointless and hurt more than they help most of the time.
  7. Really down…going to be a long day. I haven’t been doing well of late and we just got a dose of winter..very cold and snow and I don’t handle that well to begin with so on top of all my other misery…ugh!
  8. The snow and cold has finally made its way here after an unusually warm month of December .
  9. I know I am being judged by loved ones because I have a different point of view on something than the “majority”. They pretend like they care and say they are okay but I know they don’t like my decision and will likely at some point try to force me to change my mind.
  10. I continue to struggle on a daily basis. Bad weather…mainly snow…is a anxiety trigger for me, always have been bothered by it but now it is a huge problem for me. Well, snow is coming and my part of the area will see the worst of it while nearby locations get merely a dusting. Afraid that is going to push me closer to my breaking point, which I am already dangerously close to because of the holidays and other stuff.
  11. Actually got a decent amount of work done today and was able to focus better than usual. Not sure how since I started with a migraine. Guess the meds kicked in faster than usual today and I didn’t have the “hangover” feeling that I sometimes get.
  12. My weekly therapy session has been my saving grace, especially these past few months when things have gone really downhill for me. I don’t get out much at all since I work from home and basically just go out on weekends…to eat or shop. Even if it is just for an hour or two…feels good to be among the living.
  13. Not doing well. Demoralized to my core right now.
  14. One thing I excel at is self-loathing. My self esteem has always been low and these days it is non-exsistent.
  15. I have been feeling increasingly uneasy and tense recently combined with missing my weekly therapy session was the cause I believe of a anxiety spike and minor panic attack yesterday. Nothing major happened that would have done it…my nieces and nephew were kinda loud and excited but that didn’t cause it. The weather was fine and I was at home so it had to be the growing amount of tension just came to a head.
  16. I’d love to spend the holidays on a quiet beach with no trace of decorations or music and nothing but sand and ocean waves crashing in the background. I realize I am the oddball on this (pretty much the case on most things as I have long been the “black sheep” of the crowd) but I live in winter misery and am tired of cold, snowy, unpleasant weather this time of year. Also, lights and decorations do nothing for me.
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