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Everything posted by monicott17

  1. Very cold, blustery and on/off snow showers. Going to get better though after today and hopefully the snow will melt quickly with the 40/50’s degree days coming.
  2. Everything totally snow covered again and going to have more on and off throughout the day. At least this time it appears that it will be short lived as temps will be going up steadily during the week with some 50’s and 60’s thrown in so it should melt rather quickly. Still makes me miserable though and I suspect this isn’t the last storm for the season. It snows well into April here sometimes. Once again, I find myself extra sad on a Sunday. Usually go out to the store and to eat and will probably still do that but even that doesn’t do much for me anymore. Maybe it is the weather or maybe just I am a miserable, hopeless person.
  3. 100%. I just read an article how companies may not be charging more for certain products but finding clever ways to change the packaging and contents so you get less for your money. I am not huge on boycotts but there are some companies that are just so egregious in the behavior that I cannot in good conscience do business with them. One in particular that has been in the news a lot lately I have avoided for years.
  4. Had a good session with my therapist yesterday and got the wheels in motion on the medication discussion. I can see someone from the same location as him as they are a large practice and he is going to recommend someone and I will then make the appointment for the evaluation as soon as I can. I do my therapy sessions via their app and I can do this via the app as well. Makes me feel a bit better about things as doing it in person would probably make me more anxious.
  5. Same here . The accumulation from like the last 3 storms finally melted on the grass and roads but there are still ginormous ugly, gross looking snow piles in parking lots everywhere that will likely be around for awhile. And they are about to grow because it is snowing right now and will continue thru the night into tomorrow which means everything that finally melted will be covered in snow again..ugh.
  6. For a long time, I convinced myself I was not bad enough for meds because I will still functioning on a somewhat normal level and still enjoyed at some things. Now? I am barely…barely! functional. Nothing brings me joy or pleasure. My work is sloppy with careless mistakes and now I have fallen pretty far behind with zero motivation to get caught up. My sleep and health are now feeling the effects as well. And I am overwhelmed by bad thoughts, negativity and sadness. Despite that, I am still somewhat apprehensive about meds but I can’t take much more feeling like this. Planning to speak with my therapist about it. So far, we have only talked about it briefly but it is time for the discussion.
  7. Been thinking a lot these past few days about what I am missing out on…not talking about fun stuff here. I have bad teeth, have always had bad teeth. I badly need to see a dentist and probably have an extensive amount of work done. Could not tell you the last time I have been inside a dentist office…probably 10 years at least. Anxious at the thought of going to one and anxious at the thought that I cannot just suck it up and go like most people. There are many things where this is the case and it is really getting to me.
  8. Ugh….I hear you!!! Before I was even on the clock, ran into a major work issue and cannot do anything until it is solved. As if I wasn’t already unmotivated and frustrated enough. Also, anxious because I have to talk on the phone with IT and they aren’t usually very friendly.
  9. In the 60’s today and the nearly all the snow finally melted. Chance of more in the next few days though . But it doesn’t appear any extreme storm or cold is coming again.
  10. 25 year reunion for me as well. I still live in the area where my high school is and have seen classmates around town over the years. Didn’t go to the 10 year reunion and won’t go to this one for sure. I didn’t realize it myself until someone pointed it out to me recently and damn, was it sobering for me. My high school and college years were by no means great but since then I have gone steadily downhill and would consider things to be an unmitigated disaster at this point.
  11. Thanks for the reply. Due to my hesitiation, my therapist suggested possibly being on something that isn’t taken daily…only when needed. He’s also mentioned Prozac as a possibility. I’ve heard both good and bad in regards to Prozac.
  12. This is one of the big things I am struggling with right now. Worried about where things are headed. I am deeply disturbed by a number of things happening right now and the ramifications they are having and will continue to have. I am (and have always been to be honest) a “glass half empty” person and I believe the world that exsisted prior to March of 2020 is never coming back, especially where I live. Some places might be close to a pre-covid way of living, not where I am though.
  13. Thanks. I am just about there and going to have the discussion with my therapist sooner than later. I think I will always be apprehensive about it because of my cynical nature but I am worse than I have ever been and struggle to function most days…especially at my job.
  14. Had another one of those days with everything and everyone getting on my nerves causing poor motivation and spike in anxiety. Bitter freaking cold yet again and of course, snow covered yet again. At least it is my therapy day though.
  15. Was listening to the radio today and the host was talking about his favorite pastime and hobbies which he enjoys to get away from the news and social media. And people were calling in with their own as well. Not sure which I felt more…sad or envious. I just don’t have the patience, skill or desire for it but I wish I did as I am consumed with bad/sad/negative thoughts and have almost no joy or pleasure in life any longer. Even eating out, something I used to enjoy doesn’t do it for me any longer.
  16. I am not much of a tv or movie fan and I have no hobbies or social life so distracting myself from my screwed up head is really tough. I do get some relief from just merely opening a window (especially while I am working) and letting fresh air in or going outside for a brief time. Also, it probably isn’t healthy or good but I daydream. A lot.
  17. Thanks. I am only doing therapy at this point and no meds at this time. My therapist has left the decision up to me and both he and the practice do not push them in any way. But these last few weeks, we have discussed the possibility of them more and he explained to me how they handle it. I have always been on the fence about meds…past attempts did not work for me. But I am at the point (and this has been another tough week) where I can’t take much more and have to at least give them a try. I wish I had someone in real life to give a little support and discuss this with but I really don’t have anyone who understands so I will have to decide this on my own.
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