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monicott17

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Everything posted by monicott17

  1. I can relate. Work is especially tough for me right now. Struggle daily with motivation and things are kind of messy right now and that just adds to my frustration and lack of motivation.
  2. Frustrating that I can’t have more than one decent day in a row. Always something or someone to bring me down. It never fails.
  3. Struggling with work again. Lacking motivation and feeling overwhelmed by even simple tasks. Tasks I have done many times without a second thought. My work is sloppy…I make careless errors that I notice and probably others have caught as well. I don’t want to go above and beyond the bare minimum required of me. It didn’t use to be this way…when I first started at this job and my previous one, I dove into the work and wanted to learn new things and to assist others. Now? I am just going through the motions and becoming even more miserable and cynical with each passing day.
  4. I always was kind of “out there” and questioned things. A number of events over the past year or so have made me a full blown cynic and my trust issues are deeper than they ever have been. I question everything. And by everything…I mean everything!!
  5. Same. I think I realize deep down my extreme caffeine addiction is a giant contributor to my anxiety but there is no way I can quit it. It is literally one of the only things that brings me any sort of contentment. Knowing me, I’d pick something else (probably something worse) to become addicted to.
  6. Feels like a sauna here….never really gets above 90 degrees but the humidity has been so high lately making it so very uncomfortable.
  7. Air conditioning. Much of the summer has been hot and extremely humid here and working from home without it would have been less than ideal.
  8. My family event the other day was another reminder of how much of an outsider I am and that no one (despite saying the opposite) respects point of view. That topic came up….the one that everyone but me agrees on. They said the same things many others have said about those of us who don’t agree. Before I could say anything, the topic changed. I was going to say something because I am tired of being judged and looked down upon for having the opposing view. Wonder what they would have said…probably a lecture and tell me in so many words how awful I am due to my descision. I need to seriously consider a total blackout of news and social media. My anxiety and depression is spiking of late and today, a news item made me break down.
  9. Going to my niece’s birthday party today and fully expecting it will spike my anxiety. Already a bit nervous in anticipation of it. There are going to be people there who are non.stop. talkers and last time around them, it got me anxious. Plus the topic of discussion (usually every single detail of vacations) is never one I am interested in or partake in. This is kind of out there and random but never being a Disney person myself, I have always been annoyed and uninterested in endless Disney talk.
  10. Feeling uneasy about things. I have always been cynical but never moreso than I am now.
  11. Idiots. Total and complete idiots are in charge of things where I live. This is an absolutely miserable place that is about to get even worse. But I am stuck here for many reasons…both big and small..and that is a tough pill to swallow as I want to move so badly.
  12. Humidity is gone finally after a brutal, uncomfortable week! Low 70’s and very pleasant today. Nice to have the window open with a breeze flowing in.
  13. Another weekend of no plans and nothing to look forward to. Think I’d be used to it by now…but sometimes it bothers me more, like today. The county fair is going on and today there is a huge concert out at the stadium. Honestly, do not have much interest in either but thinking about people going to these with friends and loved ones, the anticipation of the event, planning what to wear etc… Must be a nice feeling.
  14. I can relate..l have no friends either and likely never will. I have to echo the words of the other posters here…this forum is a friendly and welcoming and most of all non judgmental place to speak your mind. I post on a bunch of different forums and this one is the nicest by far.
  15. Sad and more hopeless than ever. Have a growing sense of apathy toward my work…for a number of reasons…and at this point, I am only doing the bear minimum required of me. As usual, nothing to look forward to on the weekend. Would like to go to the store or mall to just spend some time and browse and actually see and hear other humans but I get third degree and and the side eye whenever I ask to go so I just don’t bother. And they aren’t in walking distance either. Quitting driving for no good reason is one of my biggest regrets.
  16. School supplies in stores, football starting, the endless array of pumpkin spice items (sidebar- I might be the only one…but I cannot stand pumpkin spice..the taste or the smell..which has triggered migraines in the past)…all reminds of fall and all out there already, school supplies were in stores around July 4th even though school goes until late June here. I struggle with winter and seasonal affective depression and since the calendar turned to August, I have started to feel the SAD slowly creeping back despite it being hot and sunny today. Also, some places leave their plows in the parking lots all year round and seeing a plow in the middle of a hot summer day is pretty jarring for someone like me.
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