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Everything posted by monicott17

  1. Not doing well…..this time of the year is when things start to get worse for me as my seasonal affective disorder kicks in. I don’t like Halloweeen or anything assoicated with it…never have even when I was a child. Don’t care for football either which is bad since I live in a football crazed town with a team that’s pretty good and everyone everywhere can’t seem to talk about anything else. Fall has been okay so far…milder than usual and no real cold nights as of yet but that could literally change overnight and the snow will be coming sooner than later. I know the time change is coming soon and those nights where it is dark at like 5:30 really get me down. Work is as frustrating as ever and consuming too much news again and some things are upsetting me more than they should and contributing to my heightened anxiety level of late.
  2. I really dislike when it is football season. So not a fan and even worse is hearing others go on and on and on about it.
  3. I am generally miserable on Sundays to begin with but today I have a family thing where I have the double whammy of having to pretend I care about the stupid football game and also having to be quiet about things because my views don’t align with others. At least there will be food from one of my favorite restaurants though.
  4. Thanks. This board is by far the least judgemental and most welcoming one of all the places I post at. Currently sitting here debating whether or not to reply on different board I post on right now because some there are super harsh and judgmental of others and a recent post of mine was basically dismissed and mocked by someone when all I did was merely give a different opinion. I should reply and defend myself because I have every right to have thoughts of my own but I just don’t know if it is worth it and to be honest, it is causing me to be a bit anxious right now. Gonna go out for a bit soon and try to forget about it.
  5. Thanks so much! Just reading this makes me feel some hope. My weekly sessions with my therapist and posting here and elsewhere are getting me through at the moment.
  6. SNL is unwatchable these days and has been for awhile. In the days of Norm, Adam Sandler, David Spade, Chris Farley…it was actually funny and they went after pretty much everyone and everything without worry.The “Weekend Update” segments were the best. Comedy will never be like that again.
  7. Beyond disgusted with pretty much everyone and everything right now. I don’t love being stuck in my room pretty much all day, every day but at this point it might be my best option. I can’t deal with the nonsense and it is clear to me that no one really cares what I think or wants me to have a different opinion. It is hard to live with people 24-7 who you know deep down are judging your every move. Yet there is no way I can move out on my own right now…for a number of reasons. It is a tough pill to swallow.
  8. I second this. I had little trust to begin with but this past year and a half has zapped any remaining trust I had. One guy in particular who is on tv all the time is really sleazy and dishonest and has made me question things even more.
  9. Well football is back today and I couldn’t care less. Pretty much everyone in these parts will either be at the stadium or watching the game at home or in a bar. People are crazy and passionate for this team and they are pretty good with a decent chance at winning and part of me wishes I could get into it but then again, it just feels like a pointless waste of time and the team winning or losing has zero bearing on my life. And sitting there for 3 hours watching people I have zero attachment to just does nothing for me.
  10. Hi, this is a great place to vent and be among people who can relate and understand what you are going through. No judgment either. I find myself asking the same question over and over these days…why do I bother?? The bad seems to outweigh the good and anytime I even make the slightest bit of progress, someome or something is there to destroy it. It never fails.
  11. Pretty down and sad about things…this is the usual, especially on Sundays but today moreso because it is has been a rough few days. It is pretty dark and overcast also. My therapist always says I can reach out to him via the app if I need anything before my weekly appt. Might have to do that. Something continues to nag at me and I don’t really have anyone in real life to discuss it with because I will be judged or invalidated for thinking the way I do.
  12. I can relate. I have almost zero trust in anyone or anything, especially people who are in positions of power and leadership. Things are already bad enough and will get much worse I am afraid before they get better. I am geniunely afraid because there is something I chose not to do and lets just say, it is not the “acceptable” choice in the eyes of others and they want to cause problems for me.
  13. The mall….one of the very few things in life that I still semi enjoy. Even if I have no reason to go or anything to buy, it is nice to walk around and be among people and activity. Anxiety is sky high for me right now. It already was and something that happened in the last few days made it skyrocket. Beside myself with uncertainty and worry about it and about what I am going to do. I have no idea at this point and whatever the outcome ends up being is going to cause issues for me.
  14. Looks like a big decision is looming for me in the near future and it is likely not going to go well no matter what I decide. Times like this is when it hurts the most not having friends to turn to.
  15. Not a great day. More anxious than usual today and still feeling the after effects of a migraine episode. For several days now, a minor thing related to work (something my boss kind of dropped the ball on) has been bugging me and I can’t let it go. I took care of what I needed to but the way it was handled from the start is my issue. In the grand scheme of things, it really is a minor thing but I continue to dwell on it and it is no doubt contributing to my anxiety spike. Frustrating!
  16. Thanks. One day at a time is what I try to tell myself and here’s hoping one of these days will be brighter for all of us.
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