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Everything posted by monicott17

  1. Anxious and sad. Been another long week with a number of disappointments and letdowns. My family members just don’t seem to get it or honestly care at all much despite how many times I have tried to express my thoughts and concerns.
  2. Having a rough time today. Feeling really sad and lonely. Work continues to pile up and is getting more difficult to deal with each passing day.
  3. Managed to get more work done today than yesterday…including something that has been sitting around for awhile and getting pushed to the side. I got tired of looking at it so I just sucked it up and got it done.
  4. Today was a slight improvement…got a bit more done and even helped out some co-workers with some info they needed. Still not doing great though…so much frustration!
  5. I am really, really struggling today. Mondays are usually rough but today is absolutely brutal. I feel more sad and anxious than usual and there is not a specific reason why. Could be a combo of the many issues I am having right now.
  6. I think…at least around my area that people are affected by the weather (I know I am) and it has been a terrible spring so far following a terrible winter. I always cringe when the sports teams don’t do well either because that also has a rather large impact…especially the football team…on the morale.
  7. Thanks!! It was a better experience than the previous day was.
  8. Venturing out again today…hope it goes better this time as I will be in a different area than yesterday and places that are usually less crowded. Already feeling my usual Sunday blues though .
  9. Good luck! I made the mistake of going to the outlet mall on a Saturday afternoon and lets just say…it didn’t go so well. I did at least get a decent meal out of it and likely am going to buy online some of the items I looked at but didn’t purchase.
  10. Well I am back from venturing out…didn’t really do all that well. In fact, I have noticed the last few times going to the store or being out elsewhere, my anxiety has been higher and starting to feel some panic again. Especially today, it was super busy there. And while I was able to browse the items, I didn’t buy anything though because several of the stores had employees that gave me weird vibes and didn’t want to have to engage with them. Maybe it is that particular area I was in or perhaps Saturday is just a bad day to go as it was also full of rude people and not just store employees, but people in general seemed to be in a bad mood. I get sort of triggered by people on their phones talking loudly and almost yelling and saw a lot of that as well. I don’t know what to say anymore….I don’t like being stuck in the house so much but I am not liking and as comfortable with being out either. I think I might need to discuss this with my therapist as I do not like the way I felt today after being out…was angry about some things I shouldn’t really be angry about and as I said, some employees I encountered weirded me out so I was a bit paranoid as well.
  11. Can’t keep track of how many times a day I find myself muttering the words “why do I bother”. Frustrated and annoyed on so many levels.
  12. I wish I could somehow make myself want to drive again. Super frustrating because I have to depend on others and always do things on their terms. Like today, need to go to the mall and was up early and ready especially since I like to be there close to when it opens (less busy) but that wasn’t convenient so now I have to go at the busy time and it is already making me anxious. I wouldn’t bother at all but not going out on weekends makes me feel worse since I am basically in my bedroom 24-7 on weekdays.
  13. Got to leave the house on a weekday so even though it was for a short time…that is enough to at least make me feel a tiny bit better. Could be why I got a bit more work done today too knowing I was going to go out. The workload is still a mess though and no closer to being sorted out but that is up to my boss as I don’t have the desire or motivation to care about it or want to help.
  14. I can definitely relate. It seems for me if there is one thing that is ven remotely good…there is 4 or 5 bad things right along with it. Especially of late…nothing seems to be going right for me.
  15. It is available…but not certain I would qualify for several reasons. I used to be able to handle things and multitask…pretty well actually but the combo of working from home and the workload being a sloppy, disorganized mess has ruined that. I also don’t really feel any connection to my co-workers or boss or care much about the company as a whole. Management isn’t really friendly or responsive and plays favorites for sure.
  16. Nothing can ever be done without all kinds of conditions or strings attached to it. It can never be on my terms it seems. And I am tired of this. And tried of always either being the “afterthought” or just straight up not included at all.
  17. Work is likely going to be a nightmare this week and given my current high levels of anxiety and depression combined with my total lack of motivation…I have no idea how I am going to handle it. My family is not really helpful or supportive in any meaningful way either.
  18. Not doing well these last few days. Had several episodes where I just broke down and started crying. Overwhelmed by sadness and a strong sense of hopelessness.
  19. I’ve checked..but not recently..if there are any of these in my area and did not really find any. I think something like this would be good for me to be around people who understand and can sympathize with what you are going through. Going to check with my therapist and see if he knows of any.
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