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Posts posted by monicott17

  1. On 7/1/2021 at 1:07 AM, watalife said:

    After blatant realization, people only want to here themselves talk. Maybe my tone sounds dumb and people just want me to shut up but some people just won't let you get a word in.

    So true! This is part of the reason why I am skipping an upcoming get to together. A family member of my sister in law likes to talk. And talk. And talk. About his endless Disney trips (as an aside, I am not a fan of Disney and don’t care to hear about it) and his cross country drive this summer. And his farm equipment. He’s a nice guy and means well but goes on and on and on and no one else says much. Plus, he’s got a louder speaking voice and that combined with boring conversation topics triggers my anxiety. 

  2. I had to go to the mall today and return a total of 5 items from 2 different stores. 3 of the items were defective…the other two looked nothing like their online photos. And have one more item to go from an online store…which was an obvious customer return as it looks used and it is the wrong color. And the color I wanted is now not available plus I have to correct their error at my expense. This may sound odd…but experiences like this add to my sadness and depression. Things just aren’t what they used to be and I fear will continue to get worse.

  3. Despite my boss not bothering to tell me that she was on vacation last week and waiting until the last minute to let me know my time off request was approved…I got the approval and heading to a place I enjoy visiting and have visited many times in the past. Not really sure how this is going to go since I am miserable right now and struggling but I have only taken one vacation day this year so far back in February so I really need the time off from work. And I know the city I am going to well…been there many times and will be visiting some of the usual spots. We will see.

  4. On 7/1/2021 at 2:26 PM, Another Statistic said:

    I've become used to 6 months of winter, 2 months of pre-winter, two months of post-winter, and two months of other - where the temp stays happily around 25. This heatwave is threatening to my well-cultivated pasty skin-tone. 😄

    I can relate as I come from a place with miserable weather almost year round. From October - April it could literally snow at any moment. And not stop for hours on end…really bad storms have gone on for days with multiple feet of snow. Winter is otherwise dark, cold, harsh and really depressing.  Spring and Fall are mostly gloomy and cool. And even summer isn’t great. Lots of humidity and up and down temps. Rarely hits 90 degrees here..maybe once or twice a year…I wish we had warmer temps believe it or not.

  5. I can relate. A few message boards and my weekly therapist appointment are   my only solace at this time.  My family members either don’t get it at all or just don’t care. And I don’t have any friends. And I am still working from home and will be for awhile it seems,

  6. 15 hours ago, Svenetc said:

    At least you tried to find some joy by going out even though it did not work for you at this time.

    Maybe next time will be better.

    Thanks. Trying again today and I actually have items I need at the store so I have good reason to be out. Already feels like another sad Sunday for me though.



  7. Just going through the motions of day to day life (especially my job) right now. Even today, on a weekend…went to the store and lunch at a favorite place of mine and it brought me no joy whatsoever. Leaving the house, since it is such a rare occurence these days (Monday-Friday I am basically a shut in since I work from home and I do not drive) usually at least perks me up a little bit. But not today, in fact I feel even more down since returning home.

  8. 8 hours ago, Svenetc said:

    That is exactly my answer to the same question ....the only people I can be open with is right here and on wire or I just close up and keep my thoughts for myself. Kinda sucks but it is my choice or my destiny I guess.

    I can so relate. Posting here and a few other places is where I can speak openly and honestly. I had a really heavy “gripe” session with my therapist the other day and was happy to get some things off my chest but there are some avenues I don’t even want to go down when speaking with him. No friends at all and most of my family...just does not get it and lately I seem to feel worse when I say anything.

  9. On 6/24/2021 at 11:59 PM, iWantRope said:

    This goes to @Depressedgurl007 too.

    Jobs/employment are for people with zero mental health issues whatsoever. If you have been diagnosed with depression, apply for disability! Unless disability does not exist in your country for mental health reasons, only for physical disabilities?

    Not sure how it works here…probably depends on what state one lives in. My state is a nightmare of a place to live and to deal with so I am guessing the process is not an easy one. I might be soon reaching the point of just straight up quitting without having a new job lined up. I would be ok financially doing that at least for awhile.

  10. I’m really unhappy with my job right now and I really need to seriously think about finding a new one. Problem is that I lack motivation and I am a mess right now…inside and out. Guess the fact that we are not going back to the office anytime soon is bothering me more than I thought it would. 

    It also seems less and less likely I will be going on a road trip to one of my favorite places. I really didn’t get my hopes up or think about it because it was definite and it still may happen but I am doubtful.

  11. So much going on in my head and other than the 45 minutes a week I talk with my therapist and posting online…it stays bottled up and makes me feel more sad and hopeless with each passing day. Most of my family members (even if they claim otherwise) don’t care what I have to say and I don’t have and have never had any friends. Any shred of hope I had remaining is now gone.

  12. Feeling really down and out.

    Had a not so good time at my family event. Anxiety got spiked because I had to spend most of the time with someone who likes to talk. A lot. And loudly. About vacations, farm eqiupment, more vacation talk…ugh. This may sound awful but I cannot stand hearing about stuff like that…and every freaking possible detail as well. And some of the “uncomfortable” people were there and despite not dealing with them directly…their presence was enough to make me uneasy.

    Found out today I will not be returning to the office anytime soon. And reading between the lines of what my boss said…maybe not ever. I had mixed feelings about returning but knowing it isn’t likely to happen in the near future…ugh. My working situation at home is not at all ideal and I am going to have to seriously think about what to do as I can’t take it anymore.

  13. This board is definitely a safe space for me. It has become quite clear to me that no one (outside of my therapist) in real life really cares what I have to say or values my opinion. In fact, I know for certain I am being harshly judged (by my own family members) because of something I have an opposing point of view on than the majority does.

  14. 1 hour ago, Svenetc said:

    That is the worst feeling to have isn't it ? If you know you bump into people you do not feel good or comfortable to be around. I hate it. Hope you will still have a good day and feel less uneasy when it is over. I know exactly what you are talking about,

    Thanks! Making sure I have my charger and earbuds for a quick escape if needed!

  15. 1 hour ago, Svenetc said:


    It is the same here. I cruised online forever to find a clean and "normal" outlet. I found two. I found a Chat I go to every day. And I found this site. I feel free here. I can post what is on my mind and what goes on  in my life. I am still rather closed up - but that is by my nature. However I appreciate the kindness and open minded personality of the people on here. I do not read everything .... but still a lot. And i feel for the peeps , and I encourage to keep going. It became a staple for me to come here. Like some people go to church .... well ... this turns into my church. I get inspiration and motivation and I also can give back. Works for me 🙂 

    I post on several different message boards right now and this one is by far the friendliest and most comfortable place to post. Also, feel like I can relate to most people here and understand what they are going through as I am experiencing much of it myself. One of the other boards I have almost stopped going to because many of tne topics have in my opinion, an unfriendly and hostile tone to them and there are cliques there and if you aren’t in them…your posts get ignored. I actually feel more sad and depressed when I go there. 

  16. You are most definitely not alone! In a bad place right now myself and all I can do is take it one day at a time. I know that is cliche and even some days that is hard but I don’t know what else to do. This board is a big help to me. Also, my weekly therapy session. I know therapy can be tough (I have had my own struggles with it) but right now is it a lifesaver for me. 

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