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Posts posted by monicott17

  1. Some parts of my area have gotten snow already and it has been cold and unpleasant the last few days. The time change is in a few days and already one of the local radio stations has started with the 24-7 Christmas music. Just more stuff to make me feel even more sad and anxious.

  2. My 5th anniversary with my company came and went recently and was not in any way acknowledged by my boss. I kind of knew that would be the case because she and the company are terrible at communicatons but it still kind of stings and is bothering me more that it probably should. I don’t care about a gift or dinner or something like that a simple few line email would have sufficed.

  3. My SAD is already beginning. Fall has been okay here so far, even a bit on the warmer side. But the shorter days…dark by 7:00 now and will be even shorter soon with the time change are what gets me down. I also live in a place with some of the absolute worst winter weather anywhere. My area is well known for its very harsh winters and impressive snow totals (usually 100+ inches) for the season in many years.  It is a depressing place to begin with but with threat of snow at any time from about mid-October through April, even early May…it is unbearable at times. Plus, those ugly piles of snow don’t melt and just sit there in parking lots for months on end,

  4. Not doing well…..this time of the year is when things start to get worse for me as my seasonal affective disorder kicks in. I don’t like Halloweeen or anything assoicated with it…never have even when I was a child. Don’t care for football either which is bad since I live in a football crazed town with a team that’s pretty good and everyone everywhere can’t seem to talk about anything else. 

    Fall has been okay so far…milder than usual and no real cold nights as of yet but that could literally change overnight and the snow will be coming sooner than later. I know the time change is coming soon and those nights where it is dark at like 5:30 really get me down.

    Work is as frustrating as ever and consuming too much news again and some things are upsetting me more than they should and contributing to my heightened anxiety level of late.

  5. I am generally miserable on Sundays to begin with but today I have a family thing where I have the double whammy of having to pretend I care about the stupid football game and also having to be quiet about things because my views don’t align with others. At least there will be food from one of my favorite restaurants though.

  6. On 9/16/2021 at 5:09 PM, JD4010 said:

    I definitely know how that is. I hope you keep dropping in here to hang out with the gang. We've got each other's backs.


    Thanks. This board is by far the least judgemental and most welcoming one of all the places I post at. Currently sitting here debating whether or not to reply on different board I post on right now because some there are super harsh and judgmental of others and a recent post of mine was basically dismissed and mocked by someone when all I did was merely give a different opinion. I should reply and defend myself because I have every right to have thoughts of my own but I just don’t know if it is worth it and to be honest, it is causing me to be a bit anxious right now. Gonna go out for a bit soon and try to forget about it.

  7. On 9/14/2021 at 6:53 PM, Svenetc said:

    Hey monicott ... I can read and sense the tense and awful situation you must be in. All I can say I feel bad for you.  You need an " outlet" .... maybe you can find a person on here or off here to talk to. Seems like that is what you need in the worse way. I assume many here are able to listen and be there. Talk to one .... talk to me ... I am open and non- judgmental or else. I am just here. Got my own stuff to deal with but that seems minor. But I always care for others too.... 

    Thanks so much! Just reading this makes me feel some hope. My weekly sessions with my therapist and posting here and elsewhere are getting me through at the moment.

  8. Beyond disgusted with pretty much everyone and everything right now. I don’t love being stuck in my room pretty much all day, every day but at this point it might be my best option. I can’t deal with the nonsense and it is clear to me that no one really cares what I think or wants me to have a different opinion. It is hard to live with people 24-7 who you know deep down are judging your every move. Yet there is no way I can move out on my own right now…for a number of reasons. It is a tough pill to swallow.

  9. On 9/13/2021 at 11:33 AM, JD4010 said:

    There's some articles circulating today with a recording of several doctors sitting around discussing plans for "being scarier" to more people to boost people's desire to take the jab. That's called gaslighting, ladies and gentleman. I do NOT trust the medical industry, nor big government. When you combine the two, you have a deadly combo capable of all kinds of nastiness. 

    I second this. I had little trust to begin with but this past year and a half has zapped any remaining trust I had. One guy in particular who is on tv all the time is really sleazy and dishonest and has made me question things even more.

  10. Well football is back today and I couldn’t care less. Pretty much everyone in these parts will either be at the stadium or watching the game at home or in a bar. People are crazy and passionate for this team and they are pretty good with a decent chance at winning and part of me wishes I could get into it but then again, it just feels like a pointless waste of time and the team winning or losing has zero bearing on my life. And sitting there for 3 hours watching people I have zero attachment to just does nothing for me.

  11. Hi, this is a great place to vent and be among people who can relate and understand what you are going through. No judgment either. I find myself asking the same question over and over these days…why do I bother??  The bad seems to outweigh the good and anytime I even make the slightest bit of progress, someome or something is there to destroy it. It never fails.

  12. Pretty down and sad about things…this is the usual, especially on Sundays but today moreso because it is has been a rough few days.  It is pretty dark and overcast also. My therapist always says I can reach out to him via the app if I need anything before my weekly appt. Might have to do that. Something continues to nag at me and I don’t really have anyone in real life to discuss it with because I will be judged or invalidated for thinking the way I do.

  13. On 9/9/2021 at 9:38 PM, sober4life said:

    I'll never tell anyone I'm afraid but I am afraid.  I never imagined I would have to go through a time like this.  It would be different if I had any faith at all in the leaders but every day feels like waking up on a plane and the pilots come over the load speaker and say woohoo we're drunk!

    I can relate. I have almost zero trust in anyone or anything, especially people who are in positions of power and leadership. Things are already bad enough and will get much worse I am afraid before they get better. I am geniunely afraid because there is something I chose not to do and lets just say, it is not the “acceptable” choice in the eyes of others and they want to cause problems for me.

  14. 14 hours ago, duck said:

    How is everyone doing?

    I am having an okay day.  I drove to a far away shopping mall and had coffee with one of my friends who I did not see for three months.   

    It is very quiet on this forum this week.   

    The mall….one of the very few things in life that I still semi enjoy. Even if I have no reason to go or anything to buy, it is nice to walk around and be among people and activity.

    Anxiety is sky high for me right now. It already was and something that happened in the last few days made it skyrocket. Beside myself with uncertainty and worry about it and about what I am going to do. I have no idea at this point and whatever the outcome ends up being is going to cause issues for me.

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