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Everything posted by monicott17

  1. My job is total misery and it appears working from home will be the case for a long time to come. Working from home is not all it is cracked up to be and for me and my current living situation…it is the worst. Also, I am on the opposite side of what is considered the “majority” view on something and I looked down upon because of it….by some of my own family members. I am going to stand my ground and not back down from my stance and this will likely cause some problems for me
  2. I soooooo endorse this statement as I look out the window at heavy “it will just be a light wintry mix” snow coming down. Cold temps don’t bother me as much as the snow. My area is notorious for snow and some of the worst winter weather anywhere.
  3. Birthdays when you have no friends or significant other to celebrate with and are a miserable, sad person are just another day on the calendar. Mine was yesterday and it literally was no different than any other day except I took the day off work and went to the store for a bit. Wish I had something fun to do or be able to share it with someone special but that will not happen. And to add to my already miserable and sad mood…I wake up to snow (that was not at all predicted!) and it is getting worse instead of “warming up and changing to rain”. The weather people in my town are smug and annoying and rarely get anything right. They won’t admit to screwing this up and I am afraid this stupid snow band won’t move and stays over my area and dumps a ridiculous amount of snow in a short. It has happened before. I am not ready for this and I do NOT deal with snow well at all and given how bad my anxiety has been of late, I am not feeling real good at the moment. And even though I dislike my job, at least work is a bit of a distraction, There is no distraction today which is why I think I probably should just go back to bed and hibernate for the today even though Saturday is usually my errands/lunch day.
  4. Yep….especially my job. I just don’t care at all and will only do the bare minimum required of me. A couple of mistakes I made were pointed out to me and I fixed them but I should care more about it than I do.
  5. I usually don’t handle the time change well but this time I am really struggling with it and it is making me more anxious. Also, once again getting more worked up than I should be about certain news stories.
  6. Same here. There was a game a few years back that was a straight up blizzard and the stands were still mostly full. The fans here are uh, big party animals and their tailgating antics are well known. I don’t get any of it to be honest and wasn’t sad at all to see them lose recently to a team they should have beaten. Another very overrated thing in my opinion….podcasts. Perhaps it is my short attention span but the few I have tried just don’t hold my interest. Plus, several people talking loudly and at once annoys me in real life so I don’t really need to hear it on a podcast.
  7. Football and everything assoicated with it. I live in a football crazed town with an obnoxious and over the top fanbase. I know they are good and have a decent shot at winning but it is just too much and I avoid it as much as I can.
  8. I have avoided the medication topic with my therapist as long as possible because I was so unsure about it but I am afraid I am pretty close to the “point of no return”. He doesn’t push it in any way and totally leaves it up to me. I can barely function anymore. I am sad, angry, anxious and nothing brings me joy or happiness. I just go through the motions and I really can’t take much more. I think I have to at least try something, no meds in the past have done much but it hurts too much to keep living this way. And since I struggle so bad during the holidays and winter, things are only going to get worse I am afraid.
  9. November 1 is when one of the local radio stations went to 24-7 Christmas music. I can easily avoid it but just the idea of it and the fact it makes most people happy to hear that while it is the opposite for me. I dislike Christmas music, decor…all of it. It makes me even more sad, anxious and depressed than I already am. The time change and getting dark at 5:00PM plus the absolute misery that is winter in my locale…no wonder why I have been so miserable of late.
  10. Why do I bother?? You know you are in a bad place when you ask yourself this multiple times a day.
  11. Some parts of my area have gotten snow already and it has been cold and unpleasant the last few days. The time change is in a few days and already one of the local radio stations has started with the 24-7 Christmas music. Just more stuff to make me feel even more sad and anxious.
  12. Rough week so far. Got some things off my chest that were bothering me during my weekly therapy session today…felt good to do so and I am not afraid to speak my mind in those sessions but unfortunately those things are still bothering me more than they should.
  13. Coffee. Especially the first cup in the morning!
  14. My 5th anniversary with my company came and went recently and was not in any way acknowledged by my boss. I kind of knew that would be the case because she and the company are terrible at communicatons but it still kind of stings and is bothering me more that it probably should. I don’t care about a gift or dinner or something like that a simple few line email would have sufficed.
  15. My SAD is already beginning. Fall has been okay here so far, even a bit on the warmer side. But the shorter days…dark by 7:00 now and will be even shorter soon with the time change are what gets me down. I also live in a place with some of the absolute worst winter weather anywhere. My area is well known for its very harsh winters and impressive snow totals (usually 100+ inches) for the season in many years. It is a depressing place to begin with but with threat of snow at any time from about mid-October through April, even early May…it is unbearable at times. Plus, those ugly piles of snow don’t melt and just sit there in parking lots for months on end,
  16. Not doing well…..this time of the year is when things start to get worse for me as my seasonal affective disorder kicks in. I don’t like Halloweeen or anything assoicated with it…never have even when I was a child. Don’t care for football either which is bad since I live in a football crazed town with a team that’s pretty good and everyone everywhere can’t seem to talk about anything else. Fall has been okay so far…milder than usual and no real cold nights as of yet but that could literally change overnight and the snow will be coming sooner than later. I know the time change is coming soon and those nights where it is dark at like 5:30 really get me down. Work is as frustrating as ever and consuming too much news again and some things are upsetting me more than they should and contributing to my heightened anxiety level of late.
  17. I really dislike when it is football season. So not a fan and even worse is hearing others go on and on and on about it.
  18. I am generally miserable on Sundays to begin with but today I have a family thing where I have the double whammy of having to pretend I care about the stupid football game and also having to be quiet about things because my views don’t align with others. At least there will be food from one of my favorite restaurants though.
  19. Thanks. This board is by far the least judgemental and most welcoming one of all the places I post at. Currently sitting here debating whether or not to reply on different board I post on right now because some there are super harsh and judgmental of others and a recent post of mine was basically dismissed and mocked by someone when all I did was merely give a different opinion. I should reply and defend myself because I have every right to have thoughts of my own but I just don’t know if it is worth it and to be honest, it is causing me to be a bit anxious right now. Gonna go out for a bit soon and try to forget about it.
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