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Posts posted by monicott17

  1. 8 hours ago, surfcaster said:

    Sorry to hear but i understand,  i am currently in frisco in cape hatteras north carolina and its colder than home with a nor easter storm going on, the only road out is under water ATM,  make the best of it is all you can do

    Thanks…where I am is also being affected by that storm. Winds and unseasonably cold (mid 50’s)  have made it impossible to go to the beach so far. Not looking much better for the rest of the week either. Today wasn’t a good day on a number of fronts but I am pushing through. Just reminding myself that I am not at work and out functioning in society.

  2. Doing okay so far while on vacation. More than a little frustrating though to be in a beach area and to have the temperature be 15-20 colder than at home. Seriously, my area has some of the worst weather anywhere in the country for a good part of the year and today it’s going to sunny and 80 freaking degrees while here at the beach it is 55 degrees, cloudy and high winds. High winds means high tides which means no beach time for now.

    But I am trying to make the most of it…I am not working and I am out of the house. There is other stuff to do as well…outlet mall, visiting local shops, etc…

  3. 21 hours ago, Nightjar said:

    Best of luck with your vacation. Being nervous about it doesn't absolutely equate to it going arwy as I'm sure you know...Hope it's a good one ....or even half good which is sometimes all an anxious girl can ask for 🤷

    Let us know how it goes 🌞🍀

    Thanks!!  Going to be interesting to see how it goes. Decided to keep my weekly therapy appointment since it is done via their app in case things aren’t going good. But if I cannot at least relax somewhat at the beach, which is where I am going…then there really isn’t hope for me I guess??!!

  4. 23 hours ago, Nightjar said:

    Well, I don't find it easy to relax....so when it happens I'm loving it.... I have to work hard to do 'normal' things without anxiety. 

    If I put the work in and keep doing the things, it does seem to get easier 🤔

    Same here. Particularly feeling this right now as I am about to go on vacation and I am a bit nervous how it is going to go. Anxiety has been high of late but I am hoping being away from work and out of the house will at least get me calm enough to semi enjoy things.

  5. No idea how I managed it but I am somehow have gotten caught up with work. Won’t last as I am about to be off for a week but at least co-workers seem a bit more willing to help out now.

    Still feeling really uncertain about going on vacation though and will need to talk it out with my therapist.

  6. The event that I have been obsessing about being excluded from is occuring today. Perhaps now I can begin to move on from it. It is more other things that sprung up in my head than the actual event itself. 

    Also, going on vacation soon. Have to prepare for that. I am not dreading it but I am not exactly looking forward to it either. My anxiety is so bad right now that I am not sure I can relax and enjoy things. I have been to the place I am going before so that does help.

  7. On 4/27/2022 at 7:47 PM, Extremebeginner said:

    Monicott, sorry you are feeling treated this way. Do you have your own transport? Go anyway….

    as to family, I’m lucky in a way they live far away from me, so I dont encounter many problems, but I have friends dealing with troublesome siblings, parents and kids…. All we need to receive is love, and often family doesnt get this, some respect for each other in a meaningful and supportive way would be nice right. Try asking for it, you can agree to disagree but in a respectful and polite way, no judgement and no tense battles. Hugs for you

    Thanks. Unfortunately I quit driving a number of years ago and have never started up again so I must rely on others. I feel a bit better after talking with my therapist and trying to be a bit more understanding. Anxiety runs in my family so I am not the only one with issues and I have to try and remember that.

  8. I have family members who are pretending like they care and will sometimes act nice and helpful but deep down I know they couldn’t care less about me. I think I probably knew this deep down but have recently learned it the hard way. This is the case with my job as well. I am at the very bottom of the priority scale and my needs don’t matter and I only get to do things if it is convenient for others. 

  9. I am really feeling low…feel like I am getting treated extra harsh of late. I can’t seem to do or say anything that doesn’t get mocked or chewed out for. Just wanted to quickly run to the store and got a hostile response and a boatload of excuses. So sad it has come to this and so sad mostly everyone in my family either treats me like garbage or just outright hates me all together. 

  10. I may work from home and not leave the houses much but I still do have a daily routine. Today my routine is thrown off and I can feel my OCD and anxiety increasing. And of course it would have to happen on a Saturday as that is the one day per week when I feel somewhat decent.

  11. On 4/19/2022 at 10:29 PM, duck said:

    I am just wondering what's the plan?  Will you continue to work and wear yourself down some more?  I kept working and wore myself down.  I could barely walk or talk when I left my job and went on disability.   HUGS

    Thanks.  My therapist thinks I need to somehow about approach my boss about returning to the office for at least a few days. I am not sure if and how I can do this since my boss is uh, rather difficult to deal with at times but I think I need to at least give it shot at some point. Doing a hybrid schedule would not solve my issues by a longshot but I think it would help my motivation some and give me more of a routine which also would be helpful for me.

  12. All this time…they were only pretending to be nice. I think somewhere along the line I may have realized it but it didn’t really register until recent events really hammered it home. Sad on many levels since it was the closest thing to family gatherings I will get. Sure maybe I will get a “pity” invite in the future to tag along with others they actually do like but I won’t bother. Sitting home alone is depressing but far less depressing than sitting somewhere where you know you aren’t wanted and are being judged.

  13. 9 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

    Dad managed to deal with COVID okay but now on the tail-end of that, we find out his kidney disease has progressed to stage 4. I am so f'ing tired of everything. Can't even say he tried to make improvements in his life. He didn't, he won't even eat vegetables or cut back on coke or coffee.

    I really do believe there's happiness in life, just not for me. Sometimes people just have lives that are meant for suffering. I turn 35 soon and have nothing to show for it. I should've left home when I was 18 and not looked back. I would've told younger me to never sacrifice myself for family...it ain't worth it. They will take everything from you and still ask "what about me?"

    It is my brother's birthday today and I want to be happy for him but I'm just full of anger and bitterness.

    Sorry you are dealing with this and I can relate. I never bought the “there is someone for everyone” line and love/happiness is something I can only dream about or live vicariously through others. I also find it hard to be happy for others.

  14. I did a decent amount of work today for a Monday. Also, this past weekend, I decided to speak up and went off on some things that were bothering me. It felt kind of good to do that. Not sure if it will do any good in the long run or if it will help me to be in a better place with things but it is better than keeping all of this stuff bottled up inside.

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