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Everything posted by monicott17

  1. I am pretty jaded and cynical and in general don’t have much hope at all but I have to say I am pretty moved by the response that has occured in my area after the horrible thing that happened here recently. Despite all the bad and doom and gloom…there is still some good and decency left out there.
  2. This seems to be happening everywhere…people on their phones in the middle of a crowded place talking loudly, some even on speaker phones. And they don’t seem to care that they are a huge distraction and that everyone can hear their business. Loud phone conversations have been an anxiety trigger for me for awhile…I have worked with a number of people in the past who were super annoying while on the phone.
  3. Yes!!! Working with my therapist on this but still struggling with it quite a bit.
  4. Struggling immensely with work again. Distracted and spending too much time on my devices on non-work related things. I think things are going to feel “off” and strange/sad for quite some time around my area. Probably won’t be out doing stuff until the weekend but I get the feeling places are going to be different for awhile. I am always hyper aware of my surroundings while out in public…will be even moreso now.
  5. I ended up with zero beach time on vacation and today I am back home and the weather is exactly like it was at the beach…rainy and cool. Meanwhile, the beach location is warm and sunny today. That is just my luck. I wasn’t quite as overwhelmed as I thought I would be upon my return to work. But I wasn’t nearly as productive as I should have been either. Going to be an uphill battle for awhile I think. Also, there is a deep sense of sadness around the area where I live due to a horrific event that happened here recently. I am trying to avoid coverage of it because it is really tough to watch and stuff like that can easily spike my anxiety. But I will have to be out and about around town where people will be talking about it and where reminders of it will be around for some time. This also makes me even more uneasy about a number of things that I have worried about before.
  6. Thanks…where I am is also being affected by that storm. Winds and unseasonably cold (mid 50’s) have made it impossible to go to the beach so far. Not looking much better for the rest of the week either. Today wasn’t a good day on a number of fronts but I am pushing through. Just reminding myself that I am not at work and out functioning in society.
  7. Doing okay so far while on vacation. More than a little frustrating though to be in a beach area and to have the temperature be 15-20 colder than at home. Seriously, my area has some of the worst weather anywhere in the country for a good part of the year and today it’s going to sunny and 80 freaking degrees while here at the beach it is 55 degrees, cloudy and high winds. High winds means high tides which means no beach time for now. But I am trying to make the most of it…I am not working and I am out of the house. There is other stuff to do as well…outlet mall, visiting local shops, etc…
  8. Thanks!! Going to be interesting to see how it goes. Decided to keep my weekly therapy appointment since it is done via their app in case things aren’t going good. But if I cannot at least relax somewhat at the beach, which is where I am going…then there really isn’t hope for me I guess??!!
  9. Same here. Particularly feeling this right now as I am about to go on vacation and I am a bit nervous how it is going to go. Anxiety has been high of late but I am hoping being away from work and out of the house will at least get me calm enough to semi enjoy things.
  10. Overcast and kind of on the cool side…upper 50’s.
  11. No idea how I managed it but I am somehow have gotten caught up with work. Won’t last as I am about to be off for a week but at least co-workers seem a bit more willing to help out now. Still feeling really uncertain about going on vacation though and will need to talk it out with my therapist.
  12. The event that I have been obsessing about being excluded from is occuring today. Perhaps now I can begin to move on from it. It is more other things that sprung up in my head than the actual event itself. Also, going on vacation soon. Have to prepare for that. I am not dreading it but I am not exactly looking forward to it either. My anxiety is so bad right now that I am not sure I can relax and enjoy things. I have been to the place I am going before so that does help.
  13. Thanks. Unfortunately I quit driving a number of years ago and have never started up again so I must rely on others. I feel a bit better after talking with my therapist and trying to be a bit more understanding. Anxiety runs in my family so I am not the only one with issues and I have to try and remember that.
  14. Lots of tears over these past few days. I am really feeling sad and lonely. I hope I can keep it together for my therapy appointment. I need it badly.
  15. I have family members who are pretending like they care and will sometimes act nice and helpful but deep down I know they couldn’t care less about me. I think I probably knew this deep down but have recently learned it the hard way. This is the case with my job as well. I am at the very bottom of the priority scale and my needs don’t matter and I only get to do things if it is convenient for others.
  16. I am really feeling low…feel like I am getting treated extra harsh of late. I can’t seem to do or say anything that doesn’t get mocked or chewed out for. Just wanted to quickly run to the store and got a hostile response and a boatload of excuses. So sad it has come to this and so sad mostly everyone in my family either treats me like garbage or just outright hates me all together.
  17. Having a bit of a meltdown at the moment. I kind of have gotten used to being mocked and treated poorly but there are times it is bad enough and bothers me greatly. Today is one of those times.
  18. I may work from home and not leave the houses much but I still do have a daily routine. Today my routine is thrown off and I can feel my OCD and anxiety increasing. And of course it would have to happen on a Saturday as that is the one day per week when I feel somewhat decent.
  19. Thanks. My therapist thinks I need to somehow about approach my boss about returning to the office for at least a few days. I am not sure if and how I can do this since my boss is uh, rather difficult to deal with at times but I think I need to at least give it shot at some point. Doing a hybrid schedule would not solve my issues by a longshot but I think it would help my motivation some and give me more of a routine which also would be helpful for me.
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